POLL~ about QUITING during the...

[Strike2]

Never pulled DD off a team before the season was over much less mid-game, but I considered it a couple of times. The team we came closest to leaving wasn't a problem in terms of playing time, but the team's collective attitude and approach sucked. Players were just going through the motions, the HC didn't care, and we were clearly wasting our time there. There was already another team that wanted her, but I was an AC and told that other coach that we'd made a commitment and would see it through. We walked over to a nearby field and joined that new team the moment the screwed up team's last game ended. It was an easier decision staying for those last couple of tournaments than if DD had been benched, but it wasn't much fun.

Absent some extreme circumstance, pulling a kid mid-tournament isn't appropriate. However, if the kid isn't being utilized and there's a better opportunity elsewhere, it's reasonable to move on. If she were in a job that sucked and there was a better offer on the table, a lecture about commitment would sound pretty strange.

 

[PJR202]

I always see this and the rationale is because we have to "teach commitment", but no where in life is this important. I've never felt the need to take my DDs off a team mid season, but wouldn't hesitate to do so if I thought it were in their best interest. No where in real life do adults show such commitment. It isn't shown in jobs, nor in marriages (I don't need to point out divorce rates). While it may be extreme to say that commitment in marriages doesn't matter, the strength of your DD's marriage isn't going to depend on her ability to tough it out with a 12u coach that doesn't give her playing time.

I'm not saying that the decision to go back on an agreement should be taken lightly. One should of course think through the potential consequences to themselves and to others. But life is too short to blindly imprison yourself in miserable situations just for the sake of teaching commitment.

I don't leave people hanging on commitments and I expect my kids to tough it out as well, even if they aren't happy with the situation. Marriage and a softball team aren't comparable. But I don't want my kids thinking it's ok to ghost people the the everyday situations of life.

"I need someone to help with this fundraiser."

or

"I'm looking for someone to help me move this weekend"

or

"Are you interested in doing some yardwork for side money?"


These are things that, if I agreed to do, I wouldn't cancel or ghost without a darn good reason. That's the kind of kids I want to raise. If nothing else, people know I'm dependable. I don't mess around with people who aren't dependable. I don't trust people who aren't dependable.

And what about when my girls are assessing a new date? How are they being treated? IS the person responsive? Do they disappear and act like it's no big deal? Is that who my girls need in their lives? Are those behaviors something they're OK with?

The list could go on and on. I can tell you this much. My kids don't cancel on commitments. When they've tried to, it was an opportunity to learn about choosing what is most important. etc. My daughter doesn't call in sick if she's not sick, and when she decides to leave her job she won't do it on a whim. I don't care what other people do, but that's not who I'm raising. My only legacy in this world will be the kind of people I leave behind.

 

[Bernmoll]

unless physical abuse of some sort, also wouldn't walk out in the middle of a game. Did have one of my kids coaches say to us in the middle of a game that our kid's error cost the team 2 runs. Had some words with the coach Monday evening after the tournament. He apologized but damage was done. We did stick it out to the end of the season which was another 2 months. I did have to walk away for a bit during that game to calm myself down. Seriously was ready to throat punch the coach.

 

[Chilixa]

unless physical abuse of some sort, also wouldn't walk out in the middle of a game. Did have one of my kids coaches say to us in the middle of a game that our kid's error cost the team 2 runs. Had some words with the coach Monday evening after the tournament. He apologized but damage was done. We did stick it out to the end of the season which was another 2 months. I did have to walk away for a bit during that game to calm myself down. Seriously was ready to throat punch the coach.

Seems odd for a coach to talk to a parent during a game anyways.

I have told the mom of one of my players that her daughter cost us runs after a game before also to be fair to the other coach. Only difference is the mom I was talking to was my wife.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Northball]

Seems odd for a coach to talk to a parent during a game anyways.

I have told the mom of one of my players that her daughter cost us runs after a game before also to be fair to the other coach. Only difference is the mom I was talking to was my wife.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

"Oh! So now she's MY daughter!..."

 

[uncdrew]

unless physical abuse of some sort, also wouldn't walk out in the middle of a game. Did have one of my kids coaches say to us in the middle of a game that our kid's error cost the team 2 runs. Had some words with the coach Monday evening after the tournament. He apologized but damage was done. We did stick it out to the end of the season which was another 2 months. I did have to walk away for a bit during that game to calm myself down. Seriously was ready to throat punch the coach.

Wow. I mean parents can say that stuff, but coaches? Never.