Playing too much and burn out for 10u ? Any happy medium?

[soonersoftballdad83]

My DD is a second year 12u and about a year ago she had a mild breakdown about playing and missing friend's birthday parties, sleepovers, etc. My DW and I made an effort to plan things for her and her friends during the off weekends and the offseason in the end of the summer and winter. We plan "back to school" sleepovers in August after try out season but before the fall cranks back up. We also plan dinners and movie nights. We try to make up for time that she misses just being a kid. I know we all look forward to our weekends off but if your DD gets burnt out and quits, then you will have all the free weekends you can imagine. And me personally, that's not what I want.

When we have off weekends I never say no to her doing things with friends. I might try that route and plan things in advance to let her have more friend time. I also don't want her to give up the sport entirely either!

 

[The Man In Blue]

My DD is a second year 12u and about a year ago she had a mild breakdown about playing and missing friend's birthday parties, sleepovers, etc. My DW and I made an effort to plan things for her and her friends during the off weekends and the offseason in the end of the summer and winter. We plan "back to school" sleepovers in August after try out season but before the fall cranks back up. We also plan dinners and movie nights. We try to make up for time that she misses just being a kid. I know we all look forward to our weekends off but if your DD gets burnt out and quits, then you will have all the free weekends you can imagine. And me personally, that's not what I want.

This sounds like you have good ideas, but something about the tone of it still bothers me. Primarily the part I bolded. It sounds as if you are recognizing that playing softball should be part of being a kid, but instead it is something you feel you must do and make sacrifices for. No 10 year old should have A JOB. It seems we have become so focused on our kids having everything that we are really giving them nothing. (Maybe I’m just getting old and reflective.)

I would encourage every parent to step back ... not just now, but on a regular basis ... and ask yourself “why are we doing this?” Have that honest conversation with your daughter (and yourself).

We talk about goals in our careers, lives, etc. ... work with your daughter and set them in softball. Be specific on what you want to get out of playing, what you are willing to put in, what you are willing to sacrifice, and what are the things that will NOT be sacrificed/missed.

 

[Hawk_]

Way too much! In the next two years as she enters Junior High she will want to do other things too (band, cheer, school sports) they have to have room to be kids. We (12u) play every other weekend and practice once a week with most of the girls taking private lessons some other day. I tell them, they can throw with their parents but turn off softball sometimes. I have to as a coach also.

 

[765Seth]

First off I need to say BOOOOOMER! We are almost in the same boat, this our 1st year of 10U travel and they are scheduled for 9 tournaments (half are less than an hour away) from April to July finishing off @ Golf Shores for Nationals. We contemplated jumping into this already because of the burnout factor we have had at the HS level. I do think she is giving a pretty good hint about the amount of softball or maybe the amount of travel that is involved. I'd have to agree w/ Stxdad that would be the best bet. Either way I wish for the best for you and your DD!

 

[Cougars]

I agree it's too much, but to play devils advocate a little, was the schedule not discussed when trying out? That would have been the time to figure it out.

 

[hummingbird]

Two practices a week, tournaments every weekend, or almost every. This seems on par with what we do as well. The only part that may seem a bit too much is the far away tournaments.. Aside from that, I figured this is what most TB clubs go through. I'm surprised everyone is saying that's too much honestly.

 

[_MIA_]

Two practices a week, tournaments every weekend, or almost every. This seems on par with what we do as well. The only part that may seem a bit too much is the far away tournaments.. But I'm surprised everyone is saying that's too much honestly.

One thing to take into account is that he is in OK...not SoCal. Last spring (second year 10U) DD's coach scheduled 11 or 12 tournaments and they ended up playing only 6 or 7 because of the weather...

 

[marriard]

Two practices a week, tournaments every weekend, or almost every. This seems on par with what we do as well. The only part that may seem a bit too much is the far away tournaments. But I'm surprised everyone is saying that's too much honestly.

A lot of us here have older kids or have been through the age groups. We know -sometimes with hindsight - what makes kids leave the game and playing so much, is probably one of the top three biggest factors. Long time posters here have seen the burnout and the carnage which is sometimes really hard to see when you are close to what is going on. Kids have to be kids - it can't be a job at 10 and let's face it - these tournaments eat your entire weekend. And they want to please their parents at that age for the most part, so they will often tell you they are OK with it even if they are not.

At 10U/12U a tournament every other weekend is plenty. Unless you HAVE to travel to play, a couple of overnight hotel tournaments and maybe a 'goal' tournament at the end of the season. Stay local - organize one day or morning scrimmages every now and then. Play intrasquad if you can't find a local opponent.

 

[HighStrung]

Two practices a week, tournaments every weekend, or almost every. This seems on par with what we do as well. The only part that may seem a bit too much is the far away tournaments.. Aside from that, I figured this is what most TB clubs go through. I'm surprised everyone is saying that's too much honestly.

I feel like that schedule for 14U and up is one thing, keep that pace from 8u, 10u and 12u and you'll have 10 girls that don't want to play anymore (probably afraid at that point to even tell their parents they're tired of softball too), with 2-3 that are still full tilt loving it. The only reason I would consider traveling 2+ hrs for regular 10U tourneys would be for fair competition. If we were beating the pants off everyone within 100miles then sure, let's go. If not, why travel that far when you can find competitive games near home, keep the costs down for parents when you can. Sure, have a couple longer trips to end the season but not every weekend.

 

[_MIA_]

I feel like that schedule for 14U and up is one thing, keep that pace from 8u, 10u and 12u and you'll have 10 girls that don't want to play anymore (probably afraid at that point to even tell their parents they're tired of softball too), with 2-3 that are still full tilt loving it. The only reason I would consider traveling 2+ hrs for regular 10U tourneys would be for fair competition. If we were beating the pants off everyone within 100miles then sure, let's go. If not, why travel that far when you can find competitive games near home, keep the costs down for parents when you can. Sure, have a couple longer trips to end the season but not every weekend.

In Oklahoma, depending on where you live and how good you are you may need to travel 2 hours to play in a competitive tournament as for the most part the better tournaments are centralized to within 30 to 45 minutes of the OKC area.