Playing too much and burn out for 10u ? Any happy medium?

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Jan 6, 2020
9
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So I noticed we're scheduled to play out of town (2+hrs away) 6 out of the next 8 weeks. It won't slow down after that either. One of those weekends we could play locally, as they have the same talent as an away tourney were in. My daughter has already made comments about never being home and never having any free time. Shes a great player and really enjoys softball, but isn't obsessed with it yet (she may never be). I really worry about burning her out, as we have lessons one night and two practices a week, followed by tournaments. So now were playing 6 days a week. I feel this is too much for a 10 year old and she will eventually want to quit the sport. The schedule is more demanding that we were told before we joined this team. Any advice on how to deal with this before its too late? Talk to the coaches? Find a team that doesn't play as much? I'd hate for her to be punished playing time wise for bringing this up to coaches.
 
Dec 6, 2016
70
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Man, that sounds like a boatload of softball for a 10 year old. Heck, it's more than my daughter plays and she is 18U and plays on a top level A national team and is headed off to play college ball this summer.

Personally, I think it's ridiculous. One thing I've learned in my journey of travel softball over the past 11 years, is that 90% of the girls on those teams that went waaaayyyyy overboard are not playing by time 16U comes around. There is a thing as too much softball (my wife will disagree...she played 4 years in college). At that age, my wife and I had a plan for our daughter. We had her on a good team that played about twice a month in a tournament (sometimes 3 a month, but average about 2 a month). This way it gave her time to be at birthday parties, spend the night with non-softball friends, etc. We wanted her to have a life outside of softball. Our biggest goal was to instill a love for the game.

At second year 12U and 1st year 14U we moved her to one of the top teams in the area and it was on. By that time, she new what she wanted and worked for it. It was her making the decision to move up to a top tier team who played every weekend and traveled a lot.

I think at 10U, you have to have time for a life outside of softball. It's best for everyone involved. Just my .02.
 
Jan 6, 2020
9
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I feel its ridiculous as well. I constantly talk to my daughter and tell her she can tell me if shes not having fun or wants to play and I wont be upset at all. Burn out is a hot topic I've been following over the past year. I have already seen some of her friends quit because of it. She's been upset in the past about always playing and missing things. I think 10 year olds should be playing and having a childhood as a 10 yr old. I think around 14 its go time if they want to go at a sport hard. Do you guys think its better to just address it now and leave or wait it out until she says she's had enough?
 
May 29, 2015
3,731
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I would say the damage is already being done. She has already expressed to you that this is too much for what she wants. It is fantastic that she is comfortable enough to express that to you! Now, you need to be the adult and step up.

EDITED TO ADD: Once you find her a place where she can play at her comfort level, be honest with the coaches. Explain to them that you really enjoyed the team, but the time commitment was too much for your daughter. Tell them you want to make sure she is playing as long as she wants to, not as much as humanly possible now. In our day jobs, we talk about work/life balance ... this is no different for a kid playing softball.
 
Last edited:
Jan 6, 2020
9
3
I would say the damage is already being done. She has already expressed to you that this is too much for what she wants. It is fantastic that she is comfortable enough to express that to you! Now, you need to be the adult and step up.

EDITED TO ADD: Once you find her a place where she can play at her comfort level, be honest with the coaches. Explain to them that you really enjoyed the team, but the time commitment was too much for your daughter. Tell them you want to make sure she is playing as long as she wants to, not as much as humanly possible now. In our day jobs, we talk about work/life balance ... this is no different for a kid playing softball.

Thank you for the advice on how to deal with the coaches. I don't want to burn any bridges, but if she quits all together, bridges won't matter! I appreciate the feedback.
 
Jun 24, 2019
162
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My DD is playing first year of 10u right now me being one of the asst coaches, we have agreed to play 2 times a month maybe 3 but everything is locally In the next two week we are traveling 1.5 hr away for a tourney. We try to give them 2 weekends off month
 
Apr 25, 2019
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My DD is a second year 12u and about a year ago she had a mild breakdown about playing and missing friend's birthday parties, sleepovers, etc. My DW and I made an effort to plan things for her and her friends during the off weekends and the offseason in the end of the summer and winter. We plan "back to school" sleepovers in August after try out season but before the fall cranks back up. We also plan dinners and movie nights. We try to make up for time that she misses just being a kid. I know we all look forward to our weekends off but if your DD gets burnt out and quits, then you will have all the free weekends you can imagine. And me personally, that's not what I want.
 
Jan 6, 2020
9
3
My DD is playing first year of 10u right now me being one of the asst coaches, we have agreed to play 2 times a month maybe 3 but everything is locally In the next two week we are traveling 1.5 hr away for a tourney. We try to give them 2 weekends off month
That sounds way more doable and what I kinda had in mind.
 

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