Parents danged if you do danged if you don't

[Phathead]

Bluff sorry about the typing. Doing it on phone zoomed in with bifocals. Lots of good points. I agee about major mechanics in game probably lost cause. I coached and understand about respect as I hated trying to give signals and player looking at dad swinging his arms etc.

A lot of the posts has turned about me and my DD. It was really meant to make all posters aware that myself and others read and try to implement what the quality coaches and instructors post on here. Some times even quality info can be contradictory. You cant cookie cut players and you cant cookie cut parents/coaches as the situations can vary greatly.

I think the ones posting the 95% and 5% numbers are pretty close both ways. Yep I know more about pitching than some and a lot less than others. If BM, Pauly or her current PC is in the dugout i relax and she is theirs. There are some coaches local I tell her if they suggest something about batting listen closely.

I was waiting on the helicopter/parents stay home type comments. Both comments can be true I agree but not always just like because a person puts on a matching shirt that says coach doesn't mean they are the grand imperial warehouse of softball knowledge either.

 

[JAD]

I suspect that these numbers work for parents as well.

We really need to get a sarcasm font.....

 

[GunnerShotgun]

My question is do you have this conversation with the coach when you accept a position on a team?

Parent: "My daughter will accept a position on your team. However we feel we know more about pitching mechanics and pitching strategy than you or your staff so I will be assisting from the stands during games."

The number of times I have heard that in 20 years is zero. If I did hear it we would be parting ways right then and there. Now if you wanted to discuss these items at practice or over a beer I would be more than happy to do so.

The bottom line is a lot of parents aren't doing their homework on coaches before they accept an offer.

 

[Greenmonsters]

Bluff sorry about the typing. Doing it on phone zoomed in with bifocals. Lots of good points. I agee about major mechanics in game probably lost cause. I coached and understand about respect as I hated trying to give signals and player looking at dad swinging his arms etc.

A lot of the posts has turned about me and my DD. It was really meant to make all posters aware that myself and others read and try to implement what the quality coaches and instructors post on here. Some times even quality info can be contradictory. You cant cookie cut players and you cant cookie cut parents/coaches as the situations can vary greatly.

I think the ones posting the 95% and 5% numbers are pretty close both ways. Yep I know more about pitching than some and a lot less than others. If BM, Pauly or her current PC is in the dugout i relax and she is theirs. There are some coaches local I tell her if they suggest something about batting listen closely.

I was waiting on the helicopter/parents stay home type comments. Both comments can be true I agree but not always just like because a person puts on a matching shirt that says coach doesn't mean they are the grand imperial warehouse of softball knowledge either.

Taking this one step further, I would hazard a guess that DFP principally is populated by the 5%. While the percentages may differ, the 5% that populate DFP probably can be subdivided in a similar manner. Wonder what people think that estimate is and which group they belong to?!

 

[Greenmonsters]

We really need to get a sarcasm font.....

Yes! Alternatively, we can assume that the default font is the sarcasm font and that there is a need for a non-sarcasm font option!

 

[Phathead]

Taking this one step further, I would hazard a guess that DFP principally is populated by the 5%. While the percentages may differ, the 5% that populate DFP probably can be subdivided in a similar manner. Wonder what people think that estimate is and which group they belong to?!

Im in the middle to one side opposite the other side in that group

 

[Phathead]

My question is do you have this conversation with the coach when you accept a position on a team?

Parent: "My daughter will accept a position on your team. However we feel we know more about pitching mechanics and pitching strategy than you or your staff so I will be assisting from the stands during games."

The number of times I have heard that in 20 years is zero. If I did hear it we would be parting ways right then and there. Now if you wanted to discuss these items at practice or over a beer I would be more than happy to do so.

The bottom line is a lot of parents aren't doing their homework on coaches before they accept an offer.

What happens if after a couple of beers you realize they actually do? By the way if u got 20 in I would say u got your ducks in a row and know a thing or three.

 

[Strike2]

Pitching mechanics is one thing, pitching strategy is another. Every pitcher is different, no two deliveries are exactly alike, and while I know the basics, I'm certainly no expert. As a coach, I've got zero problem with a parent giving their still developing pitcher some correction during a game. I go to great lengths to communicate the pitching strategy I'm going to use, and that is tailored to the individual's capability and who we're facing. That's the only place where I'd get pissed if the parent got in the way.

With hitting, on my team or somewhere else, I'm my kid's hitting coach, and I know her swing, her strengths, and her weaknesses better than anyone else. If there's a word or two I can offer along with my encouragement, I'll do it. If a coach doesn't like that, then too bad, and perhaps they need to address that insecurity with a medical professional. What I won't do is yap at her for taking a pitch down the middle because the coach wanted to move a runner, or say anything related to how he / she is employing my kid during a game.

Fielding issues I leave for later, and then I ask my kid what the coach said about it first. Often, I find that I noticed something from the stands about what my kid was or wasn't doing that the coach missed. We talk about it, fix it, and move on.

 

[Classof2020]

I am my DD's pitching coach and I believe I was the only one during the games this past season who saw the minutia of what was going on in that circle and at the plate other than the umps. I sit behind the plate and see what the umpire is calling. I see where the pitches are landing from both teams. Sometimes I pick the signs of the other team. I can't tell you how many times parents sitting in the outfield would say something after a game like "that umpire had a inconsistent zone" or "that pitcher was throwing blah blah blah" and I was able to say. "Nope he seriously only blew 2 calls that entire game" or "no she was throwing a great drop that was hitting the outside corner and our girls watched it the entire game". And at other times I would see that she was getting robbed and there wasn't much more she could have done to get the calls unless she threw them straight down the middle.

This year I had no problem periodically giving her a couple words now and then between innings. But I mean periodically. and if that groups me in as one of the 95% who cares. Some games I never approached the dugout, maybe even an entire tournament I may not have said a word, I didn't see her until she came looking for food between games. One game maybe I walked by and said 5 words (your foots to far over) reminding her of something she is working on. Or maybe just two words (trust it or drive hard). The times that I choose to go by and make eye contact or pass her a cold bottle of water, with a shoulder shrug in reference to the big hit she just gave up, is my attempt to connect with a girl who is struggling right now. A young girl who has chosen a hard position to master. Who is facing batter after batter after batter with only her strength and wits and the skills she is learning. Sometimes it may annoy her if she is already aware and working on it. But mostly we have a quick connection of eyes and she remembers that I'm sitting there completely on her team. Rooting for her. Watching the details. Seeking to understand her world. We are learning together.

She has her entire team but she also has the team of her and I heading home after the weekend talking through what worked, what failed, what we are going to focus on this week. I doubt I will be taking a walk by the dug out almost at all this year as we are on a team with good coaching and good catchers and she is another year older. However there is no way I would approach the dug out if we were in a showcase type tourney - maybe we'll just wink - or I just need Riseball to send me a glossary of hand signals

 

[3bmama]

Let's say you are coaching a 10u or 12u team. Your kid doesn't pitch. You really only have 2 pitchers, and if you are being honest you really only have one that keeps you really competitive. She's struggling a bit in the circle, just missing. Your best advice is-just throw strikes. You really going to be mad when I yell "shoulders" to remind her to drive them open or "powerline"? Is it going to upset you when she makes that small adjustment and then finds Her groove again? If it does, What is the real problem? Could it be an ego thing where the pitcher's mom knows better than you and can get it across in one word? Lol. I may be a little bitter�� I'm not going to let my young daughter struggle when I know the chances of her getting pulled are very slim and when I know the coach isn't going to be able to offer any help to her. As she gets older and more experienced I give those reminders less and less. She usually can work it out herself after a couple of pitches. I can agree with the parent having much less contact at 14u and above. However, if a coach can't offer her real solutions to fix things she is struggling with and he is going to send her out for another inning, he should welcome a voice who can help her make a quick adjustment.