A bright line test:In what instances have you asked a parent/kid to leave your team due to drama?
I was trying to avoid reliving it all lol, but I guess more info is needed to help everyone form an opinion.
So, we are kind of a different type of team. This is just a rec ball team I coached for 3 years (my kid is also on the team) and we wanted to do a little more for our kids than what our rec league offered. We have access to a local tournament group for rec/c level teams that we play in now. We do not hold tryouts, rather I try and give opportunities to the girls in town who want to try and get better. I am a volunteer. We do not hold tryouts. The girls enjoy playing with their friends and classmates.
I had recently asked all parents if they planned to continue with our team and she said they were trying out for a different team, which, for the record I have no problems with (this is not the first issue I've had with this parent, she also sent me rude and condescending messages at the start of the season then continued to complain to other parents all season, and also, doesn't work with her kid, then blames me because she isn't getting better).
We do not have a ton of extra girls in our area who are interested in playing and I needed to know if we would have enough kids to continue into another year. So, she said they were trying out for another team and would only play with me if she didn't make that team or if they didn't get enough girls to have a team. I said that was fine, I just couldn't guarantee her a spot when I had a few girls who were ready to come play with us. She then messeged multiple parents saying the other teams coaching and practices were much better and her daughter has been practicing with them and has learned so much (for the record, I am a new coach, but she has never stayed for a practice so I'm not even sure how she knows what we do.....) then posted on Facebook about the other teams tryouts and how excited she was that her kid was going to have the opportunity to play for this coach and how great of a player he made her sister. And all this is fine except then she deleted the post and text me and said her daughter would play for us for me in the fall.....that evening I told her that I'm not sure why she wants to continue with me when she has this other opportunity (fyi it is because 3 of the kids she was hoping would tryout joined my team and I think she realizes they won't have enough players) and that based on her opinion of myself and our team we should probably just go our separate ways. She sent a nice response back to me, which surprised me. Then she immeditely sent a messege to a parent accusing her of telling me what she was saying and told her she didn't apprecite her starting drama and now I've kicked her kid off the team when she was fine with playing for me the whole time.......mom basically said you better back off. Then when I woke up the following morning I had a messege from her saying how she never had a problem with me and I am extremely immature to hurt her kid because I didn't like her......when I did not respond back the next day she posted on Facebook about how someone hurt her kid only because they didn't like her and that person needed to act like and adult (fyi that person was me).....when one of my parents responded with basically "this is your fault our team doesn't want that drama and won't let you pull us down" she deleted the messege and blocked me and that other parent.......
I have given these kids the opportunity to play at a level they wouldn't have been able to (at 9, I'm not sure more than 1 or 2 of my kids would have been selected to play on a team they tried out for. The majority could not catch or throw when we started) and I have dedicated a lot of my time to them. Every other parent I have appreciates that and is supportive and encouraging. The girls have fun and are getting better.....we probably won't win a game this year.......but they have learned quite a bit and we see improvement every game.
When I said I would coach this team, I told parent I have a 0% policy on drama. When it starts I'm out. If I didn't have 10 other parents on my team who were extremely kind and supportive i would have just said I'm done and taken my kid to play elsewhere. Both my other coaches said we needed to cut them. I guess I was just feeling bad for her kid. She is probably the worst player on my team but she is so sweet and funny. The mom just will never be happy because I'm not the coach she wants her kid playing for.
We had a set this year that was actively undermining everything, all the time. Stirring up drama, trying (with varying degrees of success) to bring other parents into it, etc. Sweet kid, though, seemed to be thriving on the team, so he didn't cut her (softy). Big mistake, he should've. Pretty much destroyed our team. Live & learn.