My DD is average.

[Cannonball]

Sam, for many of us, our daughters are simply average. Still, it can be such a great run. As a parent, your role is so important because you hold the key to her happiness. My dd loves playing. She just ran in to let me know that they are going out tonight for the last night of tryouts. She's a 2 year varsity starter. She has never been a great athlete. Instead, she overcomes her shortcomings with her love of the game. Your daughter is 12. So many things will happen between now and high school ball or elite travel ball. Be her favorite fan. Be the one who pats her on the back and kicks her in the bottom. Pat her on the back a lot more than the alternative. She will know soon enough what she wants to do. In the mean time, enjoy the time together.

 

[SamG]

Thanks all.

I'm trying to back off on pushing her to practice. I let her know she's got to practice if she wants to get better. I think she knows it mentally but it hasn't been enough to motivate her yet. Maybe another season in rec ball will convince her to put some more work in. If not, she can stay in rec. She made the middle school team this week, so she's excited about that season starting. I like seeing all my kids participating in something (kind of hard to watch them compete in school work), and see the joy on their faces when something "good" happens.

Thanks again.

 

[fosterspoint]

You should be able to gauge whether or not she has a realistic chance of playing well for the travel team or the HS team. You should also be able to give a good guess as to how much work, practice and effort would be required for her to be successful. Just look at the effort given by the other kids who are similar in abaility and successful. Talk to her about what she would need to do to be successful on either team. Kids have a hard time judging this stuff, so you can help her by laying it out in plain english. The thought process for doing this kind of analysis is one of the things that you want her to learn anyway. If she wants to put in the amount of effort it will require, then help her achieve it.

Coaches love a kid who wants to play and work hard. If your daughter agrees to the work required, go back and talk to the travel coach. Tell the coach that she really wants to play, work hard, improve, and earn some playing time. Tell them that you don't expect to be given anything, and that its ok if she sits the bench and plays less than everyone else. Tell them that it will be good for the team to have an extra player when someone is sick or injured, or they just can't make it to a tournament, 11 players can be a big challenge. She will either rise to the occasion and earn some playing time, or she will decide that she wants to cut back and play at a lower level. In either case, she will gain a lot of good experience by practicing and playing with good players.

 

[chapelhillbilly]

I have to agree with Cannonball. Sometimes just being on the team and supporting your teammates is a reward in of it self. My daughter sounded a lot like yours up until this year. We were asked to play on the travel team in coach pitch because the coach was friends with my husband and he'd seen her play basketball and knew she was athletic. She'd never even played t-ball before but picked it up pretty quickly. She loved the game and put alot of heart in it but was just average. But the coach told my husband he wish he had a whole team of girls just like her because of how much she wanted to learn and she was always smiling whether she made a bad play or struck out. I was getting discouraged last year because I just didn't think she was advancing like she should. I considered taking her off the team and playing league ball but I'm glad I didn't. This year she has found her confidence and abililty and has done very well. She's found that she's not as good as the other girls at fielding but is one of the top hitters. She still may never be the star player but I'm okay with that and so is she. She loves the game and her team and her coaches. My point is that your daughter may not be cut out to be a pitcher. I don't think she should give up trying though. I think that maybe you should work with her to find another postion to try as well. Good luck to your daughter in all that she does. Just keep in mind sometimes we need to look at the big picture and realize that there is more to life than being the "star".

 

[tmolina]

(She's been taking pitching lessons for less than two years. She has a fastball in the high 30's/low 40s, starting to hit her marks (low inside/outside) and a change up she's working on. She has a bad habit (about 50% of the time) of crossing her arm across her chest on the follow through.)

I think at her age with 18-24 months of lessons she should be throwing 50mph+.. I have seen 10yr olds with 18 months of lessons twice a month and pitching three times a week consistently throwing 48-49mph with good control and ability to hit locations with good change-ups to boot. However I have talked to a more than one Pac-10 pitcher that told me they didn't start pitching until they were 12 yrs old and they turned out pretty damn good, so I don't think its too late for any good athelete.


(I should also point out I continuously ask her if she wants to play softball, and she always says "yes". I've told her I won't be upset if she says "no", but we'd have to find some activity for her. SHE told me she wants to try out for the travel team.)

If she really wants to play travel and not just likes the idea of being on a travel team, she needs to put in alot of work practicing hitting, fielding and pitching. I mean at least 3 times a week two hours a day until she gets a good foundation and can be value added to an existing travel team, then when she gets on a team she will put in that much work at the team practices with the coaches asking her to do more on her days off! You need to put in the time teaching her the game too, explain to her all you know about it, watch alot of baseball and softball whenever you guys can, oh wait I was just describing what my daughter and I did and still do to this day. I still ask my DD at night if she is having fun playing and still wants to play because ultimately its her choice and I do and will respect that.

(Like I said, I'm just kind of bummed about the tryout yesterday. If I had to rank her skill set, she's probably an OK 'B' player. She's better than Rec, but nowhere close to being able to compete (hopefully yet) on an A team.[/QUOTE])

A tryout is a good place for a skills assesment, you need to use it constructively to make her a better player, and also to find her target zone of what caliber of play she should play at at the time of the tryout.