Looking for Advice: DD doesn't want to play HS ball

[PAPitch]

HS ball is full of local politics. You don't need HS ball to get into a college program. College coaches are busy with their team during the HS season so they typically don't go to HS games.

My DD and I visited many colleges during the spring of her Jr HS year to see the colleges and watch the softball double headers. This gave her a good idea on how the coaches handled the team on the field and the level of play of the organization. She contacted the coaches ahead of time and was always able to talk with them either between the games or after the second game for some face to face time. It was also good to see what the campus looked like during the spring semester while the students were there.

DD was able to narrow down her school choices with an educated experience. DD has verbally committed to the school of her choice. If you want to get your name in the local paper, play HS softball. If you want to play college level ball, play for a respectable tournament travel team and market her skills to the colleges of her choice.

 

[CoogansBluff]

HS ball is full of local politics. ... If you want to get your name in the local paper, play HS softball.

I don't disagree w/ the essence of your post, but a couple of sentences made me want to add some thoughts ...

Yes, HS ball can be full of politics that you don't see in travel. But on the flipside, TB has the potential for another kind off politics (ie, daddy ball). The HS coach usually does not have a kid on the team. Much of the politics in HS ball comes from having travel parents, sometimes from different teams, who have very set ideas on how the team should be run and how their child should be used. Plus, you can't choose your HS team as easily as you can choose your travel team, so you might have more disgruntled parents who are 'stuck.' I've talked w/ many high school coaches, and they talk about the difficulty of coaching some TB players who have the attitude that they know more than the coach. (And in some cases, maybe they do.)

Your comment on HS ball and getting your name in the paper is fair - that is part of the enjoyment of HS ball, that newspapers care and you also you get recognition within your school. And those things aren't frivolous, IMO. Attention like that can be motivating for some. But HS ball has other things to offer, too. You're playing for your school. You're playing with your school mates. You're representing something (school, community) that is much bigger than a travel team or organization. A top player often must play SS or catch or pitch for the good of the team, rather than play her best position. A top player must learn to be more of a leader since many of your teammates will be less skilled. Does the top player lift them up, or keep them down?

I'm not saying TB players should or shouldn't play HS ball. But there are a lot of benefits to it and lessons to be learned that you might not get in travel ball.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

I want to emphasize how important HS grades are to the college program that your DD gets into. Although, I would let her drop HS softball, I wouldn't want her "running around all hours of the night", instead. So, a serious talk would be in order. The colleges like to see some activities, at least.

 

[sluggers]

Your comment on HS ball and getting your name in the paper is fair - that is part of the enjoyment of HS ball, that newspapers care and you also you get recognition within your school. And those things aren't frivolous, IMO.

Agreed...HS ball is a lot of fun for the kids and parents. I really don't think a kid should miss it.

 

[Sparky Guy]

Agreed...HS ball is a lot of fun for the kids and parents. I really don't think a kid should miss it.

Going back to the OP. The OP's daughter did play for the coach and knows exactly what to expect. If a coach makes it so bad that a player has no desire to repeat the experience she shouldn't regardless of "School Pride." You hate to see them not participate, but if they see nothing positive in it for themselves then I wouldn't expect or push them to participate.

Had one of my former player's mom send me an email just before the HS ended last year. She told me her daughter was going to quit playing ball. She hated the HS coaches and the team. She even quit her travel team where she was well treated and play the majority of the innings. She just lost her desire to play softball. She was also on the swim team. She was an average swimmer and a very good ball player. She liked swimming more.

 

[InTheCrowd]

Let your daughter make the decision and don't give it another thought, IMO.

Thanks and absolutely yes. It's her sports career, her decision.

 

[InTheCrowd]

Not sure if you have an AD who really cares about the girls sports in your school. But if you do there needs to be a group of parents ask for a meeting with the AD. You need to address very specific issues with him and what the players feel about the coach and why they don't want to return to the team. The meeting can not be confrontational at all. It's best to have one spokesperson doing the talking.

ironically, my DD goes to an all girl high school that used to have a very competitive program, even won the state championship in the past. I have to assume red flags have to be going off in the AD's head. Several parents (not us) have sent letters complaining but I honestly don't know if the AD is planning anything. If I were him, I'd be wondering what is going on because it's the travel ball college recruitable kids that are leaving the program. We lost every pitcher last year and ended up starting a weak freshman for varsity. I felt so bad for her because she got shelled every game. The season was just a disaster. I don't understand how the AD can just sit and watch the program go down the toilet.

Thanks for the advice.

 

[InTheCrowd]

what a shame...when someome tells me thta she is taking lessons from a former college catcher or any kind of lessons, I ask for the coaches phone number so I can stay in tune with what she is doing!!

Actually, that's exactly what her summer coach did. They communicated quite a few times. It was great. We have had good and mediocre coaches over the years between spring, summer, and fall seasons. Every coach either let her continue with what she was working on with her catching coach or just left her alone because she's good. I even had teams fighting over her at tryouts. But not this coach, she wants to change everything even though she admitted she doesn't have any clue.

I believe a reasonable would at least investigate. Talk to the player, get an idea where they're at, how advanced is the training, who the coach is, etc. Not this one. We even made the gestures to avoid the problem. We brought he catching to the school, HS coach blew her off. We invited her to lessons over the winter, no acknowledgment or response. We sent information to her, nothing. I believe we were very reasonable but to no avail. What else could we do?

Thanks for your thoughts.

 

[InTheCrowd]

I want to emphasize how important HS grades are to the college program that your DD gets into. Although, I would let her drop HS softball, I wouldn't want her "running around all hours of the night", instead. So, a serious talk would be in order. The colleges like to see some activities, at least.

Thanks, Amy. All my kids are serious students. She just had midterms and may have gotten all A's on them. She has. 3.5 GPA and a good head on her shoulders. No slouch here. In fact, as we are looking at colleges, she's looking for the right fit, the right major, and then softball. She's been getting packages from college since the summer of her freshman year. We started visiting that fall. She's not really interested in the D1 experience, she's more interested in a smaller school. That's part of that right fit part. Every coach has told her flat out that if she chooses their school, she's on the team. Grades are definitely a priority.

 

[InTheCrowd]

Going back to the OP. The OP's daughter did play for the coach and knows exactly what to expect. If a coach makes it so bad that a player has no desire to repeat the experience she shouldn't regardless of "School Pride." You hate to see them not participate, but if they see nothing positive in it for themselves then I wouldn't expect or push them to participate.

Yes, my DD played for her last season. DD started at third and the coach put in a catcher to catch "her way". After the our coach suffered her fourth mercy in a row, the coach reluctantly put my DD behind the plate. We won about half of the remaining games and this was with mediocre freshman pitching and a shortstop that couldn't catch a throwdown if her life depended on it. But my DD proved her value and was constantly antagonized by the coach the rest of the season.

My DD told me it was the worst season ever, not because of the win-lost record, but because of the disrespect, constant antagonism, screaming insults, and there was no fun in it. (exact opposite of the travel season). She doesn't feel it's in her best interest to have put up with it again. And I can't say I disagree.

Thanks again to you and everyone for your responses. I will share them with my DD and I'm sure she will feel more comfortable making her decision.