"Liking the coach" and performance

[sluggers]

We have an interesting discussion about whether a player has to "like" the coach to play well.

My DDs would say that liking the coach had nothing to do with their performance. Their college coaches knew how to win and had a clear vision of what it took to win. Their coaches also knew how to teach and did increase my DDs' performances in the sports. My DDs respected their coaches' knowledge of the game and their commitment to win.

BUT, my DDs didn't particularly like their college coaches. My DDs were regularly insulted and challenged by their coaches. The coaches were always pushing them for "more better".

Prior to college, generally the nicer the coach, the worse the team. One of my DD's high school coaches was a great person, and is still a friend of the family. But, as a coach, he was clueless.

Comments?

 

[Spaghetti9er]

“BUT, my DDs didn't particularly like their college coaches. My DDs were regularly insulted and challenged by their coaches. The coaches were always pushing them for "more better".

Insulting them…….are you kidding me? Players can be challenged without being insulted. Coaches can also be firm and direct without belittling the players.

 

[WinThemAll]

At the younger age levels, (8-12) players are more apt to play for acknowledgment. Meaning that they will try to please the parent/teacher/coach. When they become a little older they start trying to please themselves.

So at the younger age levels I believe it is important to like/respect their coach. However, once they reach the teen years it is more about respect than like.

I have seen situations where the coach was respected but not liked. That program eventually had problems. While it had worked for him for years, the changing attitudes of high school and college age athletes do not tolerate being "insulted and challenged" like they use to.

 

[PAcoach]

Thats a problem. You should never have to insult, find another way to motivate.
I think there are coaches who have a good mix. My dd TB coach is an example of that. He has coached for many years at hs,tb and the college level. He calls it tough love. He pushs these kids hard, on the field and in the classroom. He is the boss, he plays no favorites. everyone earns their place, including us asst. coaches. My dd as well as her teammates would run through stone walls for him. he could push them til they puke on the practice field, but as soon as its over their pulling out report cards to share in their class room success. ( they know he loves good grades) or telling him about the new dog they just got. Last year we had to put my daughters dog down. Within hours of the coach hearing, he phoned my daughter..i could tell stories of things he has done for every family or player. heck i'd run through a stone wall for him.
Is he succesful? Yep,he has led several teams to top 10 finishes at nationals on a regular basis. through his efforts and contacts he has placed players in D1,2 and 3. Girls who had played for him years ago, come to our practices and tournaments to help when their home from college. Thats says something right there about the coach!

 

[quincy]

I might be naïve but good coaches are liked and respected.

Go have a beer with them, maybe not, but liked and respected yes.

Our DD does not mind being “insulted and challenged by their coaches” if she feels their heart is in the right place.

Our DD needs to “like” the coach or she is done.

 

[Coach JV]

Not every good coach will be liked by his/her entire roster.
The coach needs to be respected, not liked.

 

[fastpitch5]

Not every good coach will be liked by his/her entire roster.
The coach needs to be respected, not liked.

agree totally. and it goes both ways..i've had parents in the past i didnt really like, but invited them back every year for various reasons.

 

[sru]

There is a saying hockey coaches use..."lost the dressing room"

It means the players are no longer responding to the coaching staff. I think each team warrants a different coaching style. Some teams are successful when the coach is buddies with everyone, some respond to the demanding coach. I certainly eagree with Coach JV, the coach needs to be respected. If he loses that respect, the team is done.

 

[tward1993]

To get top performance they must be liked and respected. We are talking about females. Males, I feel only need to respect to perform.

 

[Ken Krause]

I agree. I think you'll get better performance out of today's players if they like you as well as respect you. But that's still a broad spectrum. Being liked doesn't necessarily mean they'll invite you to their birthday party or graduation. But it does mean they trust you and know you have their best interests at heart.

There's an old coaching saying: Before your players care how much you know, they first must know how much you care. I truly believe that to be the case.