It is so hard butting out...last night, I didn't...

[maksoftball]

They had practice last night, and boy, let me tell you...they all looked like they were at Rec ball practice. Fumbling, missing the catch, overthrowing, etc. By the end of practice, the coach gets them to run (by this time, they had already done quite a bit of running in the drills) the perimeter of the field, then run the bases...they run the perimeter of the field again, and coach says that they didn't beat their previous time to do it again. My dd? She starts holding her side and backs out. The REST of the team did the last run without issue.

I was very disappointed in my dd. She is in shape and I don't know why she did this. She has one of the highest work ethic of most players...she still isn't the best, but she works hard at it. Anyway, after practice, I suggested that maybe it was time to stop sleeping in until 11 a.m., watching t.v. all day and playing on her phone...it's time to move her body. I also hinted (only slightly) that she lost the respect of her teammates and her coaches by bowing out like that. I then said she was going to have to put in 200% to erase that. I know I probably should have kept my mouth shut, but I just don't think she realizes how it was perceived.

I know this may sound rough to some of you, but she needs to realize the ramifications of her actions. She could have at least caught her breath and started the lap a little later...or something like that. Ugh.

This morning, she texts me saying that she was going for a run, then walking the dog and probably will go swimming after that. I think she got the message.

BTW, she's 13 years old on a 2nd year 12U team (will be 14U in the Fall). She has a history of being cut from teams for various reasons: 1) getting too hot during tryouts (triple digits in August) got her cut...they saw that as weakness; 2) inconsistent hitting. And with last weekend included, her batting avg has dropped way down (it was almost .700...now it's .230!) and add what happened last night to that. I am getting frustrated beyond belief, and I just don't want her to get hurt with another rejection...she REALLY likes this team.

Okay, I'm done. We'll see how these remaining few weeks pan out...we are going to ASA Southern Nationals in Florida, and I really, really hope she performs to the best of her abilities. I am putting this out here, and keeping my mouth shut around her. NO.MORE.LIP.FROM.ME.

 

[GTRH8R]

I had the same kind of headache from mine for a little bit. I had no success bringing her out of it. As it turns out, her batting coach (who she thinks the world of) had a talk with her about it and lo and behold, she started to get it changed. I understand about protecting your kid, but I had to let mine fail enough so she would let somebody help her. They have to learn that lesson for themselves at some point. Is there anybody else she looks up to (besides dad) that can have that conversation? You know how girls at this age think their parents are stupid and they know everything. The mere fact that is coming from somebody else she admires may do the trick.

Mine turned into a playing machine after she got through it...she has me out taking her to practices or hitting or fielding all of the time now. However, they cannot understand how to fail and get back up if you are always there to pad her fall. It's one of the toughest things I had to do as a parent, but it worked.

Good luck.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

They should have taken more ground balls, not run. I don't believe that hhe running wasn't for punishment. Did the coach run with them? Did they have on running shoes? I don't blame her for backing out. The rest of the girls should have spoke up.

 

[CycloneSoftball22]

They had practice last night, and boy, let me tell you...they all looked like they were at Rec ball practice. Fumbling, missing the catch, overthrowing, etc. By the end of practice, the coach gets them to run (by this time, they had already done quite a bit of running in the drills) the perimeter of the field, then run the bases...they run the perimeter of the field again, and coach says that they didn't beat their previous time to do it again. My dd? She starts holding her side and backs out. The REST of the team did the last run without issue.

I was very disappointed in my dd. She is in shape and I don't know why she did this. She has one of the highest work ethic of most players...she still isn't the best, but she works hard at it. Anyway, after practice, I suggested that maybe it was time to stop sleeping in until 11 a.m., watching t.v. all day and playing on her phone...it's time to move her body. I also hinted (only slightly) that she lost the respect of her teammates and her coaches by bowing out like that. I then said she was going to have to put in 200% to erase that. I know I probably should have kept my mouth shut, but I just don't think she realizes how it was perceived.

I know this may sound rough to some of you, but she needs to realize the ramifications of her actions. She could have at least caught her breath and started the lap a little later...or something like that. Ugh.

This morning, she texts me saying that she was going for a run, then walking the dog and probably will go swimming after that. I think she got the message.

BTW, she's 13 years old on a 2nd year 12U team (will be 14U in the Fall). She has a history of being cut from teams for various reasons: 1) getting too hot during tryouts (triple digits in August) got her cut...they saw that as weakness; 2) inconsistent hitting. And with last weekend included, her batting avg has dropped way down (it was almost .700...now it's .230!) and add what happened last night to that. I am getting frustrated beyond belief, and I just don't want her to get hurt with another rejection...she REALLY likes this team.

Okay, I'm done. We'll see how these remaining few weeks pan out...we are going to ASA Southern Nationals in Florida, and I really, really hope she performs to the best of her abilities. I am putting this out here, and keeping my mouth shut around her. NO.MORE.LIP.FROM.ME.

I like the way you handled this. Also , everybody needs to get over the "no running as punishment" BS. It has been used as consequences in sports for as long as I can remember. It always worked when I was a player.

 

[Momo'sDad]

Group running gives the individual players time to think and also provides good team-building benefits as it's something they have to do as a unit.

If a player is unable to complete the run for physical reasons, it's ok, those things happen. When that happens, it is and should be acceptable for the team to continue on to achieve the goal knowing that she will be there to contribute the next time.

 

[Cannonball]

I believe in motivation through the cardiovascular system BUT as a last resort and yes, I'd run with them. In fact, I did for the teams I coached. On one occasion where we had a big game the next day and where one of our teammates had really messed up, I told the team that we had to be punished for that and so, I ran for 45 minutes while my assistants carried out my practice plan.

maksoftball, my daughter struggled with the running distance. She had allergies in the spring when high school season was going on and she would absolutely struggle. I think when she was a freshman, her coach thought that she was not tough. Then, she played with a series of injuries that demonstrated just how tough she was. Is there a chance that your daughter has asthma? There is exercise induced asthma and it can be serious if a coach pushes a player who is not diagnosed and who has been pushed to the limit. I've seen that before and it isn't pretty. Be sure you push your child only after you know everything else. My daughter still struggles in the spring and will, at times, even have her eyes swell shut. Be careful.

Once you have eliminated everything else, some strategies like run a block, walk a block work well for players to get adjusted to the heat. After all, our kids are used to air conditioning and so, aren't accustom to the heat like many of us were as kids. Early in the morning or of an evening works out well. Mine runs in the morning most of the time. maksoftball, sometimes when we see our kids do something like this situation, we are embarrassed ourselves and so we take it out on our kids. Situations like this allow us, as parents, to work on our parenting skills and open a dialogue with our kids. Good luck.

 

[Sparky Guy]

What I can't figure out is why coaches have softball players run distance?? It's a game of sprints. When I want to get their attention I make them do sprints. At least then I have them working on their game while they are thinking about their transgressions. Distance running is for getting them in shape during the off season and preseason.

 

[Cannonball]

Sparky Guy, I agree. What I think a coach accomplishes in running distance like this is waste valuable practice time. Have the OF get after OF drills. They will be in shape. Have the infielders do the same. We do a drill called "Arizona" and my infielders are out of breath by the time they are ready to rotate out. It is intense. Ball to back hand and they throw to coach of 1B. Ball to glove side in hole and they throw to coach or 1B. Ball at them throw to coach or 1b. Slow roller throw on run. Then, high popup to no man's land for that positon. We do this in a minimum of 2 groups and often in 3 groups. So, for 3 groups, and 6 infielders, it is intense with one resting yelling encouragement to other. By end of last year, most of girls would look at me and say, "bring it."

 

[southwestsoftball]

Not running as punishment? Why not? To each their own, but I dont see anything wrong with it. Especially when the kids are 12u or older. It isnt always going to work, just depending on the group, but if its gets the team to be more disciplined or serves whatever other purpose, then its valuable IMO. Why would the coach run with his/her players? He/she wasnt being disciplined. He/she isnt a player.

Amy, why would the girls speak up? What was done so wrong that it warranted a group of kids disrespecting their coach and not doing what their coach says?

I agree that coaches should tailor their conditioning to the sport they coach. Softball is a game of short quick burst, so honestly IMO there isnt too much conditioning needed from a cardiovascular standpoint. Time would be better suited working on fast twitch muscle fibers and explosove movements. However it NEVER hurts to be in great shape....ever. Also, running a couple times around the field is in no way shape or form cardiovascular training.

Again, I have no idea on what kind of coach this guy is, but he is THE coach. So what he says goes and the girls on the team should be told and expected to respect him and what he says. His ways of doing things might be different then some peoples ways or it might be similiar. However its his way and if its effective for him then he should keep doing it. If its not effective for him and he is a jerk then I cant imagine too many girls sticking around. Personally, I like to go really hard in drills for practice and demand up tempo and IMO that is plenty of work to get where kids need to be. I think having to run like this can be a waste of time, but I also think it can be a great use of time if its getting the job done or serving its purpose.

Kudos to the OP. I feel like you handled things the right way. Its up to us to teach our kids how to handle things in life and then let them make the decision on their own to do it. You didnt coddle her or make excuses for her. Sounds like you helped her learn a life lesson without being over the top or aggressive. Sound like a great job of parenting IMO. I can tell you love your dd and again I think you handled things perfect. The world would be better with more parents like you IMO. Best of luck to your dd!

 

[JAD]

According to this article in Active.com, there are 6 major benefits to running - improved health, disease prevention, weight loss, boosted confidence, stress relief, and prevention of depression.....so why is everyone against it?

6 Benefits of Running | Active.com