RAY, my question, since your daughters have run the gamut thru college.
Do all girls' sports have the same drama as softball? or is softball unique in
the drama as we spend many long weekends together in tournaments etc.?
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Is there more drama in softball?
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RAY, my question, since your daughters have run the gamut thru college.
Do all girls' sports have the same drama as softball? or is softball unique in
the drama as we spend many long weekends together in tournaments etc.?
(I thought this would be a good thread...)
Softball is worse. The downtime is much longer in softball, and the uncertainty about when, and even "if" you are going to play a game, means that conversations often drift away from the game and into other topics.
You have 9 positions to fill in softball, and it is pretty easy to figure out who the best 4 or 5 girls are on a team of 15. In fact, all the parents and the players can easily see who are the top players.
But, that leaves 3 or 4 positions where the selection of the players is not so obvious. When you get down to your 8th and 9th starters, it becomes tough to justify why Sarah plays over Janey, especially to players, parents and coaches who don't have a clue about the finer points of softball--fielding, relays, bunting and base running.
So, players immediately assume that Sarah is the coach's favorite, and then the players start forming cliques due to the injustice done to Janey. Then, Janey starts kissing the pitcher's feet in order to maybe get the pitcher to intervene in her behalf. The whole thing can get really nasty.
A great line by Kathy Rodolph, head coach of New Mexico State: The players started complaining that "Sarah" was the coaches favorite, and she calls all the players together and tells them to stop whining. She says, "You're d*mn right Sarah is my favorite...she is batting .675 with runners in scoring position. You hit .700 with runners in scoring position, and you'll be my favorite."
Softball is worse. The downtime is much longer in softball, and the uncertainty about when, and even "if" you are going to play a game, means that conversations often drift away from the game and into other topics.
You have 9 positions to fill in softball, and it is pretty easy to figure out who the best 4 or 5 girls are on a team of 15. In fact, all the parents and the players can easily see who are the top players.
But, that leaves 3 or 4 positions where the selection of the players is not so obvious. When you get down to your 8th and 9th starters, it becomes tough to justify why Sarah plays over Janey, especially to players, parents and coaches who don't have a clue about the finer points of softball--fielding, relays, bunting and base running.
So, players immediately assume that Sarah is the coach's favorite, and then the players start forming cliques due to the injustice done to Janey. Then, Janey starts kissing the pitcher's feet in order to maybe get the pitcher to intervene in her behalf. The whole thing can get really nasty.
A great line by Kathy Rodolph, head coach of New Mexico State: The players started complaining that "Sarah" was the coaches favorite, and she calls all the players together and tells them to stop whining. She says, "You're d*mn right Sarah is my favorite...she is batting .675 with runners in scoring position. You hit .700 with runners in scoring position, and you'll be my favorite."
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Softball does not have much drama, at least not between the lines. Watching softball is where the drama is, outside the lines that is.
Chinami- As a manager/coach it is impossible to insulate myself from the drama
that Ray describes. Keeping the same core group of travel players for a few years
and welcoming in new and replacements as the situation merits and the girls grow
keeps the 'culture and atmosphere' of the team in a constant state of flux. I attribute
much of the drama to the fact that the majority of travel players were rec ball superstars
with daddy doing the coaching. These daddys cannot stand the fact that someone else
has taken over coaching duties. As a result these 'crazy dads' coach from the bleachers,
point out every flaw of every loss and give me no credit for coaching them to a championship.
My job is to take it all in-deflect the critics and cynics never speak about a player, parent or
anyone else while turning the talent into a winning team.
As Ray points out-I have 4 very good solid TB players that give 100% all the time, they bring
minimal drama. It is the remaining 8 interchangeable puzzle pieces that add the drama.
that Ray describes. Keeping the same core group of travel players for a few years
and welcoming in new and replacements as the situation merits and the girls grow
keeps the 'culture and atmosphere' of the team in a constant state of flux. I attribute
much of the drama to the fact that the majority of travel players were rec ball superstars
with daddy doing the coaching. These daddys cannot stand the fact that someone else
has taken over coaching duties. As a result these 'crazy dads' coach from the bleachers,
point out every flaw of every loss and give me no credit for coaching them to a championship.
My job is to take it all in-deflect the critics and cynics never speak about a player, parent or
anyone else while turning the talent into a winning team.
As Ray points out-I have 4 very good solid TB players that give 100% all the time, they bring
minimal drama. It is the remaining 8 interchangeable puzzle pieces that add the drama.
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After years of coaching, I figured out what happens...
You got two Crazy Dads standing along the foul line. And CD1 says, "She should bunt." CD2 says, "She should hit away". So, if you call a bunt and it works, then it was obvious to make that decision. And, CD2 says, "I guess you're right." If the bunt doesn't work, then CD2 says, "See? Anyone could tell the right thing to do." And CD1 say, "Yes, I guess you're right."
Pretty soon, you are an idiot...because every "right" decision you make was so obvious than any idiot would have known to do it, and every wrong decision was so obvious that any idiot would have known *not* to do it.
Please tell me it gets better as they get older! At 10 and 12U it seems that everyone thinks DD is a superstar, "if only the coach would give her a chance"!
Watching older girls (16U and up) it seems that most of the parents have figured out where their DD falls along the ability heirarchy. Maybe they've just learned to keep their trap shut?
Watching older girls (16U and up) it seems that most of the parents have figured out where their DD falls along the ability heirarchy. Maybe they've just learned to keep their trap shut?
- Jul 26, 2010
- 3,553
- 0
I think it's more of an issue with girl sports vs. boy sports. Parents just seem more overprotective of their daughters, and thus more drama results. Your daughter could have picked fishing instead of softball and it would be no different.
I can see why softball may be more drama prone then other sports though, as the action in softball is intermittent. There is a lot more time to examine every little detail of every play, because there are significant pauses between every play. In basketball, for instance, there's no time to analyze whether DD should have attempted that 3pt shot or not because the action is still going on. Sure there may be a comment or two but no time to analyze it in great detail.
-W
I can see why softball may be more drama prone then other sports though, as the action in softball is intermittent. There is a lot more time to examine every little detail of every play, because there are significant pauses between every play. In basketball, for instance, there's no time to analyze whether DD should have attempted that 3pt shot or not because the action is still going on. Sure there may be a comment or two but no time to analyze it in great detail.
-W
- Nov 29, 2009
- 2,973
- 83
As the kids get older the drama lessens proportionally. Don't get me wrong. At every age group every year there are the 2 or 3 parents who cause drama where ever they go in any given area of the country. By the time the daughters hit 16U most everyone knows who they are. It's just the way it is.
There are a few other things that happen as well. The biggest thing is the girls make the game theirs. The weaker players see the writing on the wall and quit. Those who've lost interest in softball leave. The dedicated players stay and keep working hard. The level of competition increases. The parents of the dedicated parents learn to understand the game better. The girls handle most of the team drama themselves. The parents role becomes less significant. By college you're just an observer.
The analogy I use with people is the competition level and player numbers are shaped like a pyramid. At the base is rec and 10U. Lots of girls. With each successive age level X number of players drop out as the skill level increases. At he very top of the pyramid the National team and international play.
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I coach, I agree. But the drama is from the parents usually. Not the girls themselves. Most, not all, most girls know where they are in the "pecking" order before you tell them. The girl who is the 10th best player on the team probably already knows it, but if her mom tells her enough times that she is getting screwed because she is better. That's where the drama comes in.
One constant among all youth sports. You have parents. With parents come the drama. Its not just softball, and its not just girls.
As a parent, not a coach looking at my current roster of 11.
Player #11 is by far the weakest, on the team. She is a great
kid and team mate, but is batting .075 since moving up from
12U to 14U. If I were her parent in the stands, I would prefer
that she drop off the team. Her bad offense has translated to bad
defense. I offered dad a separation but he is one of those crazy dads.
Now I will be forced to cut her. Why does a parent subject himself to this.
It is travel softball-not a social outing. BTW-she sits on the bench
on elimination day and I think he needs to take off the circus glasses
Player #11 is by far the weakest, on the team. She is a great
kid and team mate, but is batting .075 since moving up from
12U to 14U. If I were her parent in the stands, I would prefer
that she drop off the team. Her bad offense has translated to bad
defense. I offered dad a separation but he is one of those crazy dads.
Now I will be forced to cut her. Why does a parent subject himself to this.
It is travel softball-not a social outing. BTW-she sits on the bench
on elimination day and I think he needs to take off the circus glasses
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