interesting conversation with a couple of pitchers' dads

[JJsqueeze]

I am not obsessed with it and I am constantly amazed at those that are. The same thing with hitting. What the heck? Maybe to people that never played any sport softball is complicated, but it is so similar to every other sport that I can't believe people think it is complicated.

Hillhouse explains pitching rather simply. Denny Thorneburg does the same thing.

I have had a couple of dads bring their daughter to me, that thought that my lesson would be comprised of them preaching and me catching. I usually don't mind doing whatever I am getting paid for, but they would have their DD in tears. I really think that they should go play slow pitch. There is a totally different world out their for adults that want to play softball. You can play every night, if you wish. Heck, I'll even show up and tell you to line up your knocker knuckles, several times at one at bat.

Irony on so many levels I cannot even begin to dive into them.....

 

[WaSpeed02]

So the question is- for those dads of younger daughters, are we in a bubble on this board? in your day to day softball lives are there people on your teams that you can talk about some of this stuff with or are we just some crazily obsessed offshoot of the sport?

I feel your pain, brother. Don't get me wrong--I love the other dads on my DD's TB team, they are great guys---but none of them spend much time researching all the details of pitching (or hitting for that matter). Heck, even the coaches look at me like I have 2 heads when I tell them I don't want them giving her cues to "snap the wrist" or "finish" (where they demonstrate the classic HE nonsense).

I can't tell you how many times, out of respect to the coach, I have had to wire my mouth shut on the stuff they tell the pitchers to do. None of the coaches on my DD's team are pitching experts by any stretch and all the cues they give are the typical "HE style" parroting (snap the wrist, finish with the elbow, slam the door, etc). I love the head coach, but he isn't a pitching guru and it frustrates the crap out of me that he doesn't know what I'm talking about when I tell him she whips instead of snaps. I mean, technically, even the HE style whips, whether they want to admit it or not. It's just a matter of being educated on what is actually going on mechanically in the release phase, which very few coaches take the time to do.

 

[Rocketech1]

I can say that there is no direct correlation to a kids success at softball and the obsessive-compulsive disorders of their fathers. I can also tell you that the parents at the 10-12u levels are much crazier then the older girls, I guess they mellow out over time.

There is hope for you.

-W

I agree with your second statement that most of the parents start mellowing out after a few years.

Your first statement is probably incorrect. Most of the top players I know have parents who are very involved in the development of their DDs softball skills and give them every opportunity to succeed. For example, if I didn't make the time to work with my DD 3x a week on her pitching and hitting there is no way she would be close to the player she is currently and she has just scratched the surface. If you have low expectations for your kids they will probably meet those expectations instead of challenging themselves to improve and get better. For example if I never learned the difference between hello elbow and internal rotation my DD would still be with her first pitching coach and would never get the opportunity to pitch for her team. You think Boardmemeber, Doug Finch and Rick Pauly were passive participants when there DDs were learning how to pitch as teenagers?

 

[WaSpeed02]

It's over-analysis of the release phase that brought in HE to begin with.

Really? If by "over-analysis" you mean incorporating a whole lot of unjustified assumptions about what the body is doing into the HE style mechanics, I agree. "Step this way on this pitch...step that way on that pitch...lean back here.....get over the top there....be sure to warm up that wrist"......*sigh*

 

[bpeck]

I feel your pain guys.. this is going to be my dd's first year on a 10u tb team. I am the assistant coach and right now I feel like I am on an island by myself with my dd. Everyone's dd and PC teach HE. the head coaches dd is the #1 right now and I dont think my dd will be pitching that much outside of the league games. Its not that she cant do it, she just needs to get in there and get some time, but like I said in other posts. . He actually said" I dont like that style of pitching she does".. hitting is another issue. I will have to post my dd hitting.. right now I think she was doing alright, but now we are taking hitting lessons with the team and it seems she is going with hitting. I want to talk to the other dads (who also coach older teams in the program), but it seems everyone is one the same page but me. Its just frustrating because I / we work so hard on things that just seem to get corrected right after we work on it. I dont want them to think I know it all, because I dont, but still it seems like some people never are open for change.

 

[Classof2020]

At the 12U level we are alone - except for DFP. Every time you think you can share a little tid bit that might be helpful you can hear the crickets start chirping. Last year was horrible after trying to help the other main pitcher and her parents - who was a total bowler who released bent over about 45 degrees at the waste after taking about a 10 inch step after having illegal feet NOT on the rubber - then ended up getting to pitch an entire game against the only team worse than we were and she pitched a "no hitter" and all we heard about was the amazing job she did. And after that they really thought we were nuts. You just keep biting your tongue while the other parents are chanting "JUST THROW STRIKES!" and they have no idea why you might let someone steal second if there was a player on 3rd. Just go sit behind home plate and get some good video of your DD's for later. At least this year we are on a much better team so people understand the game, even if there are still a lot of crickets chirping.

 

[starsnuffer]

I agree with your second statement that most of the parents start mellowing out after a few years.

Your first statement is probably incorrect. Most of the top players I know have parents who are very involved in the development of their DDs softball skills and give them every opportunity to succeed. For example, if I didn't make the time to work with my DD 3x a week on her pitching and hitting there is no way she would be close to the player she is currently and she has just scratched the surface. If you have low expectations for your kids they will probably meet those expectations instead of challenging themselves to improve and get better. For example if I never learned the difference between hello elbow and internal rotation my DD would still be with her first pitching coach and would never get the opportunity to pitch for her team. You think Boardmemeber, Doug Finch and Rick Pauly were passive participants when there DDs were learning how to pitch as teenagers?

I think it's a double-edged sword. For every Jenny Finch and Sarah Pauly, there are dozens of kids who burned out or quit because their parent took their "thing" and made it about themselves, or simply pushed too hard and took the fun out of the game. Most of the kids I see getting scholarships have concerned and loving parents, many of whom were crazy dads early on, but realized in time that being that crazy parent closed more doors then it opened. Many coaches at the TB level just don't want to deal with that, and assume that college coaches don't want to deal with it either. Being supportive is different then being obsessive.

I think it just takes time for some people to learn that they can't want it FOR their kids, or throw money, study, and time at it FOR their kids. The kid has to do it, period.
-W

 

[Rocketech1]

Being supportive is different then being obsessive

Some of the sane parents might think anyone that comes to a website to discuss softball must be a little obsessive?!

 

[Greenmonsters]

Don't settle and don't let your DD's mechanics limit her future ceiling or potential success. Don't worry about what the masses/others are doing, but model after what the best do (not necessarily teach). Absent finding coaches that teach those high-level mechanics, you will have to learn it, understand it, and teach her yourself. DFP is a good starting place. While on this journery in real life you may find a kindred spirit or two parked along the outfiled fence, but most will be oblivious or ignorant or unwilling to learn and uniterested in DFP. Their DD's loss, IMO.

 

[JJsqueeze]

Yeah....I think the minute you've posted in a softball forum you are already on the dark side.