I'm new to being "the parent." What do I do???

[andyh64000]

Knowing the rules or not, having some kids play half the innings and some kids play every inning through 6 games at 7u is absurd. Yes it is hard to manage 14 kids...especially if you don't come with a pre-made spreadsheet lineup. But I am sure he knew that some kids had never missed an inning (especially since apparently one of them was his own).

I am usually not one to say anything to a coach about playing time or strategy unless he or she asks but I would in this case.

 

[stephanie]

Me either, Andy...as a fellow coach, I tend to stay out of his business. Sitting in the stands just being a spectator has been fun...but this was absurd. He responded to my husband's email that he'd rather discuss it in person than via email (smart guy!), and I haven't gotten the 411 from DH yet..
on a side note, I really liike this guy. He knows the game (played catcher in college) He's very chilled, never raises his voice, kids seem to dig him....he just needs to do a little prior planning before the game, rather than letting those who have his ear dictate who gets to play. And yes, I have NO DOUBT he knows which kids he never takes out of the field.

 

[Coach-n-Dad]

stephanie, if you like the guy, why not talk to him yourself?

 

[stephanie]

because my DH intervened, and, per our pre-nup, had first dibs on all things kids related....

I'm a little manic when it comes to my own kid...

 

[SoCalSoftballdad]

I'm a little manic when it comes to my own kid...

Stephanie - I think you hit the nail on the head. Most of these types of coaching issues are caused by the sheer passion and mania we have for our kids. As you know as a former coach, its not easy keeping 14 kids and their parents happy. Also, if you have a complaint with the coach NEVER voice it through e-mail, it is too important of an issue to be mis-interpreted via the written word. ALWAYS talk to the coach in person in this type of situation, preferably one on one, in a non-threatening way. You want him to listen to your concerns without getting defensive.

 

[3'sDad]

I do a spreadsheet for the batting order and playing positions for the team or every game.....we tell the kids...."check the Board (we post the batting/defensive position sheet) after every inning" so they all know when and where they are playing....learned this form another coach and it works....the kids know what inning the game is in and where they are playing...it makes them responsible.

 

[druer]

I remember those days. Had to do a spreadsheet for every inning in advance.

I always did that to. But I'm a little OCD so it drove me nuts when I had a pretty spreadsheet all laid out and some girl had the nerve to get sick or something and not show. I didn't like having to make changes to my work of art where I so carefully had figured out who sat and when.

I can't even imagine how miserable a job it must have be for this coach with 14 players though. That's a lot of juggling around for sure. Perhaps the coach just got overwhelmed and lost track of who sat and when. With 14 kids the spreadsheet may not work, he may need a laptop right there with him.

 

[2 DD Coach]

We have our lineup for the entire game done before we hit the field. And like others have said, when someones late or just doesn't show up, it can be a real pain. It seems most play time rules are fairly specific, and also quite similar. Ours require no girls to sit again until all have sat, and no girl plays two innings in a row in the outfield. Also, no outfield bench outfield rotations.

Lots of good advice on how to handle this here already, so I'm not going to beat that horse anymore. But what is the deal with having seven adults in the dugout? That seems more like a clubhouse hangout atmosphere then a gametime one.

And lastly, and it does not sound like the OP is like this but I want to put it out there. If you are a parent that doesn't have their kid regularly attened practice, or have a habit of showing up late or leaving early, then you need to address that problem before you go talk to a coach about things like playing time or batting order. We pay very close attention to our girls defensive rotations, making sure that playing time and positions are fair. However, we had a batting lineup, and we would just start at the top of the lineup every game, until one of the moms pointed out that this was giving our top of the lineup girls twice as many at bats then the rest of the lineup. She was right and I had never even considered that to be the case, and I actually would have been greatful that someone pointed this out BUT.... she was one of the show up to practice 50% of the time parents. Most coaches are volunteers, and do this for their kids and the love of the game. The amount of time commitment that is required outside of practices and games is quite large, and often times overlooked by parents.
To me that is the difference between someone being helpful, or being a "crazy mom or dad". If your putting in the time commitment and the effort, then your a softball parent. Your still crazy, but the good kind! I'm human and make A LOT of mistakes (just ask my wife). But i don't like being corrected by someone who can't even bother to pretend like they are commited to the team I'm coaching.

 

[stephanie]

great point! If my son had missed practices, or a game, or had to leave early, etc. THEN I would understand. But I'm a softball coach, and needless to say, there are times when my DD's schedule and my son's overlapped...SO, not only did we make it to practice, but we had to move heaven and earth sometimes to make sure he got there....as well as using other parents to bring him to a field, or pick him up....
Per the coach, he wasn't really aware that my kid, and several others were sitting out more than the others.. (not buying it), and never realized the rule regarding sitting players (that one I believe, sadly)...We'll see if things change during the next game. I like the people on this team too much to have to move my kid to another one...

 

[SoftSocDad]

I like the people on this team too much to have to move my kid to another one...

Even though I've had occasional issues with coaching strategy and DD's mother got into a fight with the Team Mom on the first day of this season, we've really liked being a part of the core group we have here - 3 seasons of t-ball/softball, plus indoor/outdoor soccer. But, now is the time to move on. Our kid is too advanced to play another season at this level, so she has to move up. 'A friend' told DD and my wife she would not be allowed to move up to 10u in the rec league because she's just turning 8 at the start of the fall season, but if they will not allow her to play 10s, then we'll just go to another town.

We're content to make new friends.