WARRIORMIKE
Pro-Staff Everything
Stick to your guns. You did fine.
I had to be stern with her, now I feel like crap
- Thread starter WB Coach
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That's really odd that she is that desperate for the spot light when she does in fact have a dual parent household??? Don't give her an inch... set her goals high and stick to them. Sounds like your being tested by her right now...
And that is your problem. You are more concerned about winning games than managing a team. You like her and she knows it. She is playing you like a violin. Take a step back...your focus is not on the *team* it is on this one player.
No player is indispensable (one of my favorite sayings: The graveyard is full of indispensable people.), and the sooner you communicate that to her the better you and her will be.
The only thing you have to correct her behavior is sitting her little rear end on the bench.
So, I would have called the mother and told her that the child was being hurt too much at practice and that I can't play her in the next game. The mother and child will then say you are being unfair, and then you say, "OK. I'll let her play 50% of the game." And then do it.
Have her sit out a few inning and bat 9th. That usually cures a lot of injuries.
Was he at your practice? Has he seen this behavior and not addressed it? How is that possible?
This is just one minor incident with this girl yet you've come to some very big conclusions about what my motivations are, and they are mostly wrong. I happen to be very fond of all my players and having them learn is my #1 priority. I was venting about this one incident that I felt badly about because I don't like to have to discipline them. And sitting her out and batting her 9th seems a little vindictive to me considering she's only 12. If she continues to be problematic I may have to start benching her. I can see how that can "cure" some ailments but we're only two games into the season so I'm gonna see how it plays out.
Here's the thing. He's only available on Saturdays so he's only been on the field twice so far. Those days she didn't act up, not that I remember anyway.
What you told her and the mother was, "I am powerless to control your DD." That is not a real good message to send to the team.
The only tool a coach has to discipline kids is the bench. If you don't use it, the kids and parents will end up running the team.
As far as "loving" the kids...your job is to coach. The parents and grandparents are there to love the kids.
The only tool a coach has to discipline kids is the bench. If you don't use it, the kids and parents will end up running the team.
As far as "loving" the kids...your job is to coach. The parents and grandparents are there to love the kids.
- Feb 3, 2011
- 1,880
- 48
I disagree with Sluggers on this one, because a rec environment has the potential to provide many things to young players. I know that we all bring different talents, styles and abilities to coaching, but the best managers of these young teams do a lot more than just teach girls how to play softball.
The fact that a child has suddenly become an attention-seeker could be symptomatic of something else going on in her life. I don't know anything about the family dynamic, but for whatever reason, it seems she's using team functions as an outlet. Maybe she can't talk to her parents about it and maybe she cannot effectively communicate at all, but I think a bench-her-to-fix-her approach might be too simplistic.
Just because a coach isn't a licensed therapist doesn't mean he or she has no role at all to play in a young player's overall personal development, not just their development as a softball player. Guiding maturity and teaching accountability are a part of the process.
There are plenty of men and women out there who only want to coach, but without even getting into a definition of the word, I have to say that our young people and communities are better served by those individuals who take this duty seriously.
The fact that a child has suddenly become an attention-seeker could be symptomatic of something else going on in her life. I don't know anything about the family dynamic, but for whatever reason, it seems she's using team functions as an outlet. Maybe she can't talk to her parents about it and maybe she cannot effectively communicate at all, but I think a bench-her-to-fix-her approach might be too simplistic.
Just because a coach isn't a licensed therapist doesn't mean he or she has no role at all to play in a young player's overall personal development, not just their development as a softball player. Guiding maturity and teaching accountability are a part of the process.
There are plenty of men and women out there who only want to coach, but without even getting into a definition of the word, I have to say that our young people and communities are better served by those individuals who take this duty seriously.
I got stern with a player during a tournament a few years back and she started crying. I talked to the mom afterwards to let her know. Her exact words to me, "What....do you want a f****** medal! She'll get over it."
I did get that medal a couple years later. The player gave it to me and told me, while smiling, it because I made her cry. I still have it hanging from my rear-view mirror.
Oh...and she's one of my DD's best friends now.
I did get that medal a couple years later. The player gave it to me and told me, while smiling, it because I made her cry. I still have it hanging from my rear-view mirror.
Oh...and she's one of my DD's best friends now.
The only time I really got on a player and felt bad about it was a game we lost in the bottom of the 7th. 3B was visibly upset and slung her glove up against the dugout fence. I hollered at her about maintaining composure--the whole "we win and lose with class" thing. I apologized to her in front of the entire team after a game a couple days later where we simply went through the motions, got it handed to us, and nobody seemed bothered by it for some reason that day. I explained to them that at least that show of emotion proved to me that she cared about the outcome.
