Sit-out penalties are not the end of the world, either.
I enjoyed your post, but my reaction to it is that you have a tough time accepting that someone whose competence you don't respect all that much is the one setting the rules.
I agree about sitting out not being the end of the world too. It's a two way street. If a player would rather go to a band concert than a SB game enjoy it. Play the greatest flute solo ever. I was trying to say that, maybe poorly. Let the kids do what they want to do, and as a coach make the decision you think fits THIS missed practice. They are not all equal.
Hmmm perhaps. What made you feel that I have a tough time accepting someone whose competence I don't respect setting the rules? You are probably right. Some of these things I learned because I was the one who screwed them up. What I was trying to convey was that if you have a one rule fits all absences situation you will likely have a situation that is the proverbial exception to the rule, and then what? Break your rule for that player damaging your credibility, (parent will say you're playing favorites), or enforce a rule in a situation that you don't think it fits. Just make decisions and be fair. It seems simple.
Here's a story that sort of relates, a volleyball star, team captain, and valedictorian was in a pickle. Her team was in the middle of a multi-year 144 match winning streak that started when her oldest sister was a sophomore. She was the 3rd sister in the program and it was a big deal in the family as you can imagine. Her English teacher was taking the class out of town for a field trip to see a play. The teacher was formerly my teacher and by this time a co-worker. She hated athletics and was quite vocal about that.
The player told the teacher she was going to have to miss the play because she had a game. The teacher told her she would give her a C for the marking period if she missed the play. That of course would eliminate her chances of being valedictorian, which she worked toward for 4 years. The player was crushed, feeling like she'd be letting the whole team down if she missed and they lost, but being valedictorian was equally important.
Just for the record I believe academics come first and love to watch plays. But I went on this field trip as a senior and everyone cranked music and stayed up the whole bus ride down, and then when the lights went out in the theatre everyone fell asleep. But that's really beside the point.
The coach vented to me about this situation, so I asked what are you going to do? He said, "I'm going to tell her to enjoy the play." I was pretty surprised because he's really driven and the streak meant a lot to him. He said, "She already had on person being an unreasonable a@@h@@@ in her life, she doesn't need two."
How does it end? Team won without her. The play was just OK, but she slept through the second act, so she can't really be sure. She was valedictorian, and got her education degree. When the miserable English teacher retired the former player was hired to fill her position, and she has gone on to be one of the best coaches we have at our school, so we all lived happily ever after.