How would you handle this?

[PAcoach]

Exactly. You don't even owe her a phone call and you certainly don't owe her any explanation as to why an absent-but-possibly-en route player would be placed at the bottom of the lineup. It's unfortunate for the child, but she's off your fall team and I would doubt you'd want to take her on again in the spring, unless she gets a new mom.

Agree 100%. I would just consider her career with my team was over.

 

[amanda_cake]

My plan for right now is to call my commissioner and see what he wants me to do. Unfortunately, since this is rec ball if she pays her money she will play in the spring. Fortunately for me, however, I won't have to deal with her. I'm 17 (will be 18 in the spring) and I'll be off playing ball for my HS (as I've said before, TB is scarce around here and it's happening at the HS level... funny how things vary from region to region).

I have been told by our commissioner that in order to coach (that's how he phrased it) in the spring, you will have to be 21 for "insurance purposes". I don't know if that's because that 10U group has so many whiny parents or if that is the legit reason. However, I'm going to be very angry if I'm not able to help out. Many week days I'll go to school for 8 hours, then spend 6 straight hours (minus transportation time) on the ball field at my HS and with those kids. I enjoy helping out at practice far more than the head coach type stuff. I know the commissioner guy well enough to say that if I'm not allowed on the field at all, he'll still want me to keep the scorebook. And guess what, if the insurance doesn't cover me helping out on the field then it sure as hell won't cover me keeping the score, because I consider that to be a form of coaching.

I've always said that I'd like to come back here and live, but now I'm starting to second guess that. My passion for ball over rides everything else and I could have a bigger impact at the TB level in a larger area. I'm currently considering teaching, that way I can coach HS ball. Or going to an orphanage for girls and coaching there...

 

[PAcoach]

My plan for right now is to call my commissioner and see what he wants me to do. Unfortunately, since this is rec ball if she pays her money she will play in the spring. Fortunately for me, however, I won't have to deal with her. I'm 17 (will be 18 in the spring) and I'll be off playing ball for my HS (as I've said before, TB is scarce around here and it's happening at the HS level... funny how things vary from region to region).

I have been told by our commissioner that in order to coach (that's how he phrased it) in the spring, you will have to be 21 for "insurance purposes". I don't know if that's because that 10U group has so many whiny parents or if that is the legit reason. However, I'm going to be very angry if I'm not able to help out. Many week days I'll go to school for 8 hours, then spend 6 straight hours (minus transportation time) on the ball field at my HS and with those kids. I enjoy helping out at practice far more than the head coach type stuff. I know the commissioner guy well enough to say that if I'm not allowed on the field at all, he'll still want me to keep the scorebook. And guess what, if the insurance doesn't cover me helping out on the field then it sure as hell won't cover me keeping the score, because I consider that to be a form of coaching.

I've always said that I'd like to come back here and live, but now I'm starting to second guess that. My passion for ball over rides everything else and I could have a bigger impact at the TB level in a larger area. I'm currently considering teaching, that way I can coach HS ball. Or going to an orphanage for girls and coaching there...

Rules are different region to region, but i have never heard that you had to be 21. It doesn't make sense to me, they allow you to coach at age 17 in the fall, but spring ball you have to be 21? Sounds like a crock of.........as long as you pass your background checks, you should be able to coach.

It seems you have a very good head on your shoulders. I think its awesome you know what you want and your going for it. We need more people with your attitude.

 

[Coach JV]

In my region you have to be 21 to 'manage' no restriction on coaching.

Now, your original problem: Talk to mom, tell her you make out the line-up card 1/2 hour
in advance, as a courtesy, you put her daughter in rather than start on the bench as it is unfair
to the other team members. At the beginning of rec season, I tell them the rules about showing up
on time and how playing time is affected. This should eliminate ugly situations like yours. For your age,
it sounds like you are becoming a very good coach/motivator, keep your chin up, this will not be the
last time you have a problem with a 'firecracker mom'

 

[Amy in AZ.]

Remember, the other girls are watching how you handle this situation. They may think, "Well if so and so is allowed to throw fits, I can, too. I will show up when I would like."

I am wondering, if you don't contact the mom, what do you do if the girls just shows up on time and is at the next game? Because, everyone else is going to see what you do, also.

I wouldn't expect this mom to go quietly, you can bet that she has already called everyone else on the team and some that aren't.

 

[stephanie]

This is an easy one.
She left. The other parents didn't.
Buh-Bye!

And if any phone rings, it would be mine. I wouldn't waste my time calling her to explain myself.

 

[starsnuffer]

I've had 15 year old assistants with a 12u rec team in the past. Only the manager needs to be 21 for the reasons stated (insurance).

There are specific rules we had to follow for the 15 year olds though. They involved wearing batting helmets when outside the dugout (including coaching bases) and wearing a catchers mask any time they were warming up pitchers. Basically they have the same safety rules as the players.

-W

 

[PA SB Dad]

I've always said that the only kids I worry about coaching are the ones that show up. I have too many other things to do to worry about the ones that don't. It's not worth the time, and it's unfair to the others that do show up for the team. If the girl's mother calls you, fine, have the discussion with her, but do not back down and apologize - you did nothing wrong. If she does not show up to your next practice or game without a word or explanation, and the other players/parents are asking questions, tell them you have not heard from them and assume they quit.

 

[2 DD Coach]

The only reason I suggest calling is to CYA. That way when she goes crying to someone she can't use some lame excuse as to why she left.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

I agree 2 DD. What do you do if the girl is dropped off for the next game, on time and in uniform - and mom cuts out?