high school vent/advise needed

[ThunderStruck8]

Second official day of high school softball yesterday for DD.

Being from Illinois, and knowing the season doesn't officially start until Monday the 29th, there shouldn't be any "official" practices yet anyway. But, I would request a sit-down ASAP and get to the bottom of it. With coach, DD, and AD all in attendance...

 

[djcarter1966]

The list of do's and don't from the doc you have seems the way to go. I would be sorely tempted to before practice to approach the coach (only because you say you know him) and just say "Hey, there most have been some kind of mis-communication you know DD just recovered from major back surgery and has been CLEARED TO PLAY but there are certain warm up exercises and conditioning that the doctor has strictly prohibited here is the list in case you are curious...DD knows what she is allowed to do I just wanted to make sure that YOU had a clear understanding of what's up"

 

[Tom]

This "coach" sounds like a first class moron who has no idea what he's doing. First off, starting a weight training program as the season begins is pointless. If he was serious about a strength & conditioning program this should have been started last Fall if it was going to produce any real results. Sounds like he is clueless and is just making it up as he goes. His comment about fielding a ground ball further makes him sound clueless. Have her travel coach give him a call if he doesn't think she can do it given her rehab. Don't know if your DD has aspirations to play in college or not, but either way, this colossal jacka$$ is jeopardizing her lifelong health and well being, do something now. Watched a close relative deal with back issues her whole life and it is no joke. If doctors say no, who is this SOB to try and force your daughter to do this. Makes me mad just thinking about it. If she's been playing travel since August she's probably already in better shape than most of the team anyway. I would get the AD involved right away. If he's this stupid to jeopardize his players long term health and well being the AD needs to know NOW that they have a coach with extremely poor judgement working with girls who are still developing physically and that they need to call his competency into question. Especially since he knew about your daughters surgery and rehab and forced the issue. From the little I read about him, it does sound like he would be the type who would penalize your daughter because of this. Having the AD aware and watching would hopefully keep that in check. I would have doctors reports and rehab program in hand when you meet with him and AD. You know he's going say that your DD didn't make it clear that the doc told her no weight lifting, but at least this way it won't happen again.

 

[JJsqueeze]

So lets say that works and everything works out for your DD. And this guy gets another player with a restriction later that he doesn't honor? If he is willing to have a girl with metal rods in her spine lift weights then that girl with a sprained ankle better do the running right?

I believe in second chances whole heartedly...its just with some mistakes are so bad that the person making them needs to get his second chance elsewhere.

 

[indianafp]

I wouldn't be kind about this at all. My trip would be to the administration and AD, and call a meeting with the coach. Any direct punishment from the coach toward the player for providing medical evidence she can't do the heavy lift and I would ask who the attorney needs to speak with. Now with that said, if I take your nick on here as you are from Illinois, it's conditioning and open gym. So now there is a different element here as well. The IHSA. There is no requirement before the season starts. Illinois Season starts Monday Feb 29th. Anything before that is voluntary. So you have different options in my opinion, but all start with confronting him. I'm a coach and I would EXPECT a parent to be in my grill if I did something like this, so if it were me, I'd be all over him. Just my buck forty-five.

 

[BobInMadison]

This coach is really treading on thin ice, dangerous ground, whatever metaphor you want.

He is forcing your DD to do exercises, and she does them, and if she gets hurt, well, lawsuit time. If you signed a waiver that could make a suit more difficult, but most waivers don't cover willful negligence. In some jurisdictions this could be considered willful negligence.

I had a similar situation like this happen exactly once. In elementary school DD 1 came in right after surgery with a note saying she couldn't do stuff in gym, and the substitute teacher ignored the note and sent her to gym without a word to the gym teacher. Trust me, I was on the phone to the principal the very next morning, and he put a stop to that right then and there.

I've had other situations where I've escalated matters. I've never regretted it, although once DD 1 was wrong and the teacher was right. I don't regret my actions, just her interpretation. I've had at least one case with my DS where in hindsight I regret not having escalated the matter to the head principal earlier, since he agreed with us over the teacher and the assistant principal. By then it was too late, but he made sure for the rest of his life that we never had to deal with that teacher again, and that AP was gone very fast. (which may have been a coincidence).

You might regret it a little if you escalate too fast, and it turns out it was a misunderstanding. BUT, if your do NOT escalate and your DD's health is damaged, you know you will never forgive yourself.

 

[KCPRK]

While I agree with everyone here keep in mind for ANY restrictions to be considered they must be ON FILE in writing with the school administration. If they are not the schools hands are tied.

Maybe getting that done and then taking a copy with you and sit down with the coach-buy him a beer and discuss since you have history. Ask him for help and advice.

HS politics are nasty-you don't want your DD getting blackballed out of the program and living with that on her heart. The coach may not do it but the players might. This is a difficult situation.

I went thru this with the hs fitness instructor who didn't want to accommodate restrictions and didn't want to assign alternative workouts. She admitted she didn't want to do the extra work as she put it. A diplomatic approach with the teacher and principal fixed it fast. Trick is I had all the paperwork done properly and I got a school admin on my side by doing so.

 

[BobInMadison]

You guys take pissed off to a whole other level....dayum. I appreciate the input. I really do, but as I said before I know this guy and I hope it was really just a day that was out of his character. I am hoping that the letter from surgeon and info from PT doc will be enough that this issue will be resolved. Still waiting on responses from them. No practice today, so no worries.

OK, the calm and cool version.
If this were my DD, I would make sure this matter was settled 100% before letting her go to another practice. No cases of hey, let's see how this plays out, but she will not attend any practice until the matter is completely settled.

Don't be afraid to pull her from the team. Don't be afraid to threaten a law suit, and be prepared to back up any threats.

 

[BobInMadison]

While I agree with everyone here keep in mind for ANY restrictions to be considered they must be ON FILE in writing with the school administration. If they are not the schools hands are tied.

Maybe getting that done and then taking a copy with you and sit down with the coach-buy him a beer and discuss since you have history. Ask him for help and advice.

HS politics are nasty-you don't want your DD getting blackballed out of the program and living with that on her heart. The coach may not do it but the players might. This is a difficult situation.

I went thru this with the hs fitness instructor who didn't want to accommodate restrictions and didn't want to assign alternative workouts. She admitted she didn't want to do the extra work as she put it. A diplomatic approach with the teacher and principal fixed it fast. Trick is I had all the paperwork done properly and I got a school admin on my side by doing so.

This is an excellent point.

However, I would still make sure the matter is settled before the next practice.

 

[KCPRK]

This is an excellent point.

However, I would still make sure the matter is settled before the next practice.

Completely agree. This needs resolved before she needs another surgery.

I will point out the mental and physical strength it takes for your DD to just play a sport after such a injury is phenomenal. Shes really a tough kid.