Here's a different one...

[SamG]

DD is starting her second year of MS softball. This will be her fourth year playing SB and third year pitching. She had trouble with control during MS last year. Worked on it over the summer and winter and is doing much better.

Now the issue... according to DD, the catcher on the MS team (same grade) is making pitchers do HER (the catcher's) version of warmups. According to DD (taken with a grain of salt), the catcher says "you need to do 50 wrist flips and hit my chest, if you miss, I start counting over". Another example, catcher had DD and #1 pitcher (who both go to same pitching coach so they do the same warmups) do a 'special k'(?) warmup where they had to balance on one leg for 10 seconds before pitching.

No team practices until next Monday (another story). My feeling (and what I plan on telling DD)... if catcher presents a "requirement" as part of warmups, calmly thank the catcher for trying to help, but she already has a routine she wants to stick to. If the catcher argues, DD should simply say "let's go talk to the coach". I'm going to stress to DD she needs to be calm and not confrontational (these are 12yo's though).

Is it possible the coach told the catcher how she wanted pitchers to warm up (which doesn't make sense to me, why not tell the pitchers AND catchers)?
Is the catcher (who has been playing the game longer than DD) trying to show off her authority (which I don't know that she has)?

At the parent meeting the coach told players and parents that if there's an issue, she'd like the girls to come to her instead of parents talking to the coach.

If DD continues playing SB, she'll be with this catcher probably for the next 6 years (MS & HS). Both girls were on the MS basketball team this year too. They seem to be friendly to each other, so I don't know what this is all about. I'm not there, I just have what DD tells me.

Thoughts? Ideas?

 

[Mrek]

DD is starting her second year of MS softball. This will be her fourth year playing SB and third year pitching. She had trouble with control during MS last year. Worked on it over the summer and winter and is doing much better.

Now the issue... according to DD, the catcher on the MS team (same grade) is making pitchers do HER (the catcher's) version of warmups. According to DD (taken with a grain of salt), the catcher says "you need to do 50 wrist flips and hit my chest, if you miss, I start counting over". Another example, catcher had DD and #1 pitcher (who both go to same pitching coach so they do the same warmups) do a 'special k'(?) warmup where they had to balance on one leg for 10 seconds before pitching.

No team practices until next Monday (another story). My feeling (and what I plan on telling DD)... if catcher presents a "requirement" as part of warmups, calmly thank the catcher for trying to help, but she already has a routine she wants to stick to. If the catcher argues, DD should simply say "let's go talk to the coach". I'm going to stress to DD she needs to be calm and not confrontational (these are 12yo's though).

Is it possible the coach told the catcher how she wanted pitchers to warm up (which doesn't make sense to me, why not tell the pitchers AND catchers)?
Is the catcher (who has been playing the game longer than DD) trying to show off her authority (which I don't know that she has)?

At the parent meeting the coach told players and parents that if there's an issue, she'd like the girls to come to her instead of parents talking to the coach.

If DD continues playing SB, she'll be with this catcher probably for the next 6 years (MS & HS). Both girls were on the MS basketball team this year too. They seem to be friendly to each other, so I don't know what this is all about. I'm not there, I just have what DD tells me.

Thoughts? Ideas?

My DD would say, "OK, now I'm going to bury 25 drop balls into the ground at the back of the plate. If you let one get by I'm going to start counting again..."

 

[Amy in AZ.]

Ha! Very unusual and funny to hear about.

I would be tempted to tell the catcher, OK. You stand there and I am going to hit you in the chest. Then, do a Power K and smack her. "Oh, I am sorry. You meant flips. I was thinking K's."

But, your idea of having your DD talk to the coach is maybe better.

 

[EP Dad]

That catcher is nuts. Hopefully the coach is sane and can mediate the dispute.

 

[Coach-n-Dad]

The catcher is nuts. your DD would do well to talk to her and explain how SHE does warmups. If the catcher doesn't agree then they need to both go to the coach for clarification.

 

[sluggers]

This is another opportunity for life skill training--we all have encountered well-meaning but ill-informed people at work. Teach your DD why she has to be in charge of her own destiny.

So, how do you handle it? You don't go running to the boss unless it gets out of hand. You take care of it yourself and involve the boss only if necessary.

So, tell your DD, "Honey, if you aren't prepared to pitch and you walk a bunch of people, the coach isn't going to walk out to the mound and pull the catcher. You will find yourself watching the game from the bench. So, *YOU* had better be telling the catcher how you are going to warm up, because it is your a** on the line, not hers."

DD should say, "I've got to do my drills, or I won't be ready. Thanks but no thanks."

Is it possible the coach told the catcher how she wanted pitchers to warm up (which doesn't make sense to me, why not tell the pitchers AND catchers)?

I'll assume that you really did just fall out of a cabbage truck...No reasonable, thinking coach would do such a thing...but, since we are talking about softball:

*OF COURSE IT IS POSSIBLE*--we are talking about softball where every father's 10 YOA DD throws 65 MPH and has six breaking pitches.

Is the catcher (who has been playing the game longer than DD) trying to show off her authority (which I don't know that she has)?

Most likely--some adult, probably her Dad or a well-meaning, but ignorant coach (see my comments above) told her to "take charge and be a leader".

 

[Carty]

I am surprised no one has said have DD put a wrist flip on her face mask and then "Oops, guess we have to start over"

 

[Ken Krause]

The catcher is out of line. Pure and simple. Her job is to make the pitcher look good, whatever that takes. If she doesn't like that idea, catching is not the right position for her. (And I was a catcher, so I speak from experience.)

Tough situation for your DD to be in, but it will definitely build character. She needs to stand her ground and warm up her way. If the catcher doesn't want to do it her way, she can find someone else to warm up with. When the coach asks why she's not warming up with the catcher and she explains the reason, that should end the discussion.

Having a good catcher is important. But having a good pitcher is an absolute. If it comes down to a choice between the two, it's not a tough choice to make.