Handling the team bully

[Sparky Guy]

When the kid is not bullying, she can be bright, funny, and show real spirit - like in the dugout.

I'm no expert, but it sure does sound like this girl could be bi-polar. From what you describe it sounds like there is a serious problem that is manifesting itself in aggression towards others.

As the others have stated, if the HC refuses to deal with the girl it's time to go passed him and get others involved with it. Before doing so I would let him know what you are going to do and give him a chance to handle it. If you do go above him to the league board be sure to have a VERY specific list dates, times, names, places and detailed description of each offense the girl has committed. Also have documented any disciplinary actions taken by the HC or yourself. Also document any meeting you've had with the parents, if at all.

This girl sounds like she has serious issues. Do something before it's too late and someone is seriously injured.

 

[obbay]

I can't believe you guys let her play where she wants to.

Regardless of all the good advice you've received, some of which I'd do and some of which is too official for me, I would address the issues immediately as they come up. You haven't taken step 1 which is to not let her get away with this crap. Talk to HC and let him know this needs to be done. work out a Plan on how the coaching staff will address insubordination. HC doesn't have to be the bad guy, it should be that any coach can pull a girl aside who needs a talking -to.

The girl is a loose cannon and belongs in the outfield until she can demonstrate that she can play with the team. There is no one to blame in the outfield, except the outfielder. If she pulls any of that throwing the ball at players who aren't looking crap, she hears about it on the spot. And she is always under the watchful gaze of the coach, if she thinks she's so good, she has to prove it. Until now she has proved to be nothing more than a spoiled child.

She also should be hitting last in the lineup. She is not a team player and has not earned the priviledge to be treated as an equal. You are Babysitting.

a player can be disciplined without malice and maybe without even realizing she's being disciplined, so there is nothing to take out on HCs DD. she is proving that she can not play in the infield, she needs to play in the outfield (where she is farther away and can do less damage.) Take the approach that you think she could be a good outfielder.
Every team needs good outfielders and every team has a half-dozen girls who want to play 1B. Doesn't sound to me like she has earned the spot. At 1B it's more important to handle bad throws than to be able to catch a foul ball over the fence.

when she opens her mouth on the field, it better be to encourage her team. otherwise the coach(es) need to step in.

 

[Thor]

Thanks for all the great input. Sounds like many have had to deal with this player personality.

Sparky - I'm no shrink either, but I'd bet your close if not dead-on with a bi-polar diagnosis. I'm not totally informed on the girl's home situation. From what I see, it appears that she's home with just Dad - an older man - who it appears she has her bluff in on too. Sad situation to see.

If I were betting, I'd put money on her being in serious trouble by the time she's out of HS. Which is one of the reasons I think ball, and her athletic skill - is a valuable tool for her. But by letting her get by calling the shots, it's just setting her up to be sent packing when a real coach sets real team standards and expectations on her.

As for the HC - he's a great guy. Like me, he doesn't want to make waves for her. He's swamped with responsibilities, and I just don't think he lets this make it to his critical list.

At this point - I've notified the league commissioner and our association board officers. I've asked for details on any formal bullying, behavior, & discipline policies/procedures we have. I believe our president will probably be attending tonight's game.

And SoCal - I appreciate your post. If the behavior does continue and is not addressed, I do believe I'll probably cut my coaching ties to this team. I can probably protect my DD & other players more effectively as a parent than as a assistant coach. And it should definitely lessen my liability - legally at least.

 

[D.G. OutLaws 16u]

Unfortunately this is the ugly side of the coaching job. You spend a lot of time with each child and see all the good and all the not so good. Tough spot to be in coach, especially in rec ball where its an 'equal' playing field. In a perfect world it would be great if everyone operated in a respectful manner. Truth is humans aren't across-the-board consistant in behavior. This athletic child (your calling a bully) has issues and doesn't act 'normal'. Being in a team environment, it could be exactly what she needs to 'get it'. Before you kick her to the side of the road or under a bus do the right thing and contact the Board or Park Dist rep immediately! Let them know you have an 'accident waiting to happen' kid. Get them up to speed with what your dealing with. They may allready know family history. They also have to give you direction how to handle this in a legal fashion. Not sure if its your duty to contact and have 'the talk' with the parent(s). Hopefully talking will be proactive and agreed actions will be put into motion. Best case is you could be the one who helps this kid discover the joys/successes of working in a team environment. You could be the one who helped change(reform) this kid....IMO the biggest reward a coach can get! Coaching is giving tough love at times. Ripping this kid off a team could be what the bully expects....historically, if she's been a 'problem child' it'll be standard protocal for her.
Best of luck to you coach!!! Keep fighting the good fight!!

 

[NorthMS]

I can't say that I've dealt with this type of a player, but she would be corrected at EVERY SINGLE occurrence. The head coach must have a back bone, or shouldn't be the head coach.
I coach rec league and the board would back me on benching this girl for this behavior. They would also back me for dismissing the girl from the league. There is no reason to ruin, what should be a fun atmosphere, by catering to a brat.