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Good Job!!!!

Jun 12, 2015
3,797
83
I have zero experience with 11-year-old girls. So you're probably totally right. I'll aim to be less harsh -sorry chat.
I used to think girls cried more than boys (not because of biology or anything - because "boys don't cry!" is such an American thing which is where I assume most of us life). Then my older daughter played baseball for a couple of years on a team full of boys. Lots of crying. It's often just an expression of frustration they can't get out any other way. They're disappointed in themselves, and they need that emotion to go somewhere. I think the best thing to do is let them get it out, within reason. Don't make a big deal of a few tears. There's sometimes one that will cross over into drama queen land, but usually I think they just need a minute to shake it off, with their coach's and teammates' help, ideally.
 
May 6, 2015
1,113
63
What happens when a girl starts crying because she strikes out or misses a play at 11 years old?

What are you supposed to say?
I start with a question, did you give your best

affirmative reply, then I simply tell them the pitcher won that round, happens to everybody, even Mike Trout (or insert any BB or SB player they recognize and respect). get ready for the next round (fielding, batting, whatever).

negative reply, they I simply tell them that next time, I want them to give their best. It is not fair to themselves and their teammates not to.

either way, I tell them it is a game, there is a winner, and everyone cannot win. but you learn from it and move on.
 
Sep 17, 2009
1,401
63
I've always thought girls act 'poorly' after an error (cry, pout, don't hustle in, show how ticked they are) as a defense mechanism. If they show how mad THEY are that they 'screwed up' they preempt others from being mad or disappointed in them.

This is my go-to approach in that situation and as a team philosophy, I say: 'Listen, we all know you made a mistake, that you didn't want to make a mistake and that the best thing you can do is to work hard to fix it. You don't have to show anyone on our TEAM -- coaches, other players -- that you are mad that you made a mistake. We all KNOW it. We know how good you are and we all have high standards for how we want to play. So when you don't reach them, it's disappointing. As for parents or fans, don't worry about them. Worry about your coaches and teammates. And what WE want -- and what we want from YOU -- on this team is that if you make an error, strike-out, whatever is to pick yourself up with no drama, think about what went wrong (maybe talk to a coach if you need some input) and get back after it -- in the game, in the next practice, over the entire season. A mistake is a bad thing only if you don't respond well.'

Then you work to breed that attitude into your team, no exceptions. What's your goal? To make girls feel good about their lack of accomplishment in the moment, or make girls feel good about their ability to accomplish BIG things over their careers?
 
Dec 15, 2018
118
43
CT
My DD (11) does not cry when she strikes out swinging, or makes an error, but...call her out on a pitch above her head, or out when she was safe by two steps, or a missed tag...waterworks.

We’re addressing it, but it’s a tough one with her.
 
Jul 14, 2018
298
43
I found the article a little silly. It implies that a five-year-old is making complex value judgements about the motivations of the person offering praise.

Does praise motivate kids? Sure. It motivates kids to get praise. Alas, that’s often at the expense of commitment to whatever they were doing that prompted the praise.

In softball terms, excessive praise at the younger levels is fine. They're doing something new, they have doubts about their ability, and they need constant encouragement in a sport where so much can go wrong. As they get older, the routine praise wears off, and I think that goes in line with rising expectations. DD is just starting 14U this fall, and if I yelled "Good try!" at her after she made an error, I would get the death glare. :devilish:
 
Oct 14, 2016
11
3
I hear coaches say "Good Cut" a lot. Apparently swinging the bat hard while missing the ball is an acceptable show of effort to warrant praise from the coach.

Good Cut = Good Job.
 
Dec 2, 2013
998
43
Texas
Back in the 14U days my DD was up to bat and mishit the ball (easy can of corn to right field) and her team mate next to me says. Good hit! I turned to her said, don't tell her good hit when she didn't get a hit. I don't want to encourage that. I was trying to be sarcastic. The kid tells her mom and then Oh Boy. The emails to the coaching staff start flying with demands for an apology to miss little princess. We get eliminated from this PGF qualifier and had practice the following day. I had to apologize to the kid or she wasn't playing. I brought her aside and had to explain why I said that and I apologize that I wasn't super clear. Utter ridiculous. Fast Forward 3 years later. This kid and dad showed up for Tryouts. No offer.
 

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