Frustrated Parent

[James Smith]

The Goldilocks principle.

 

[mawilson2]

I got to go with Coogan on this...

Something very similar happened to my DD. My DD was pitching for an 18U team when she was 14YOA. The team picked up a 17YOA for a few tournaments who was better than my DD. The team did better with two good pitchers than one, but... It was the first time we (she and I) her pitching time had ever been reduced.

So, my thoughts:

1) The coach was a little bit of a wiener. He should not have split innings. Your DD should have started a couple of games and the other girl should have started a couple of games.
2) Your DD's days of being the only pitcher on a team have to end. It isn't good for her. But, having a second pitcher means that your DD will not be the most important player on the team. She will have to compete for playing time. It requires some adjustment in her (and your) thinking.
3) The coach might have been trying to recruit the new kid for the team, and went overboard. He may have thought that you and your DD "understood" what he was doing. In order to get the kid to play, he may have had to promise something. So, talk this over with the coach.
4) Think a little about what would be "fair" for your DD and another good pitcher.

I agree with "Your DD's days of being the only pitcher on a team have to end." and was excited to have another top tier pitcher. Both are capable of taking over in the circle. I really don't have an issue with her pitching more even, just not all as happened yesterday. Just did not make sense the way HC treated the one who got him where he is.

If it was a recruiting process he should of gave us a heads up. I really don't think this is the case.

 

[Rocketech1]

This HC has built a reputation on my DD back and then treated her like a second rate pitcher. Again, how do I handle?

I'm not sure this line of thinking is healthy, because you are implying that this team's success and reputation rests solely on your daughter's pitching prowess, which is not the case when part of a TEAM. Now you have a situation where a better pitcher joins the team and has quickly taken over the #1 spot. You and your DD are having a tough time with it.

Was the coach a jerk during the tournament and now will ride the new #1? Probably, but I would have DD use this as motivation to get better, explore her options with other teams better suited for her (e.g. pitching rotation, equal playing time), and to understand that just because she has been with this team for the past 5 years doesn't guarantee her the same status each year.

 

[mawilson2]

I'm not sure this line of thinking is healthy, because you are implying that this team's success and reputation rests solely on your daughter's pitching prowess, which is not the case when part of a TEAM. Now you have a situation where a better pitcher joins the team and has quickly taken over the #1 spot. You and your DD are having a tough time with it.

Was the coach a jerk during the tournament and now will ride the new #1? Probably, but I would have DD use this as motivation to get better, explore her options with other teams better suited for her (e.g. pitching rotation, equal playing time), and to understand that just because she has been with this team for the past 5 years doesn't guarantee her the same status each year.

I retract the above statement. I know she is part of a team and they are a wonderful bunch of talented girls. I by no means ment to take anything away from them. We really are not bad parents. I kept quiet all weakend and DD didn't hear me say anything negative on the ride home. Just needed to vent I guess.

As for earning her position, I welcome that all day long. DD is a super competitive person that does not like to be second best to anyone. Very proud of what she has acomplished to date and look forward to what the future holds.

Thanks all for the responses and wish me luck with talking to HC.

 

[Bill S]

You could go to a new team...."We never had a coach this good!"

From what you have said, your dd was never treated fairly, particularly when she was the only pitcher. Oh yeah, I would wait until the very last minute to tell the current coach.

 

[JNew0872]

Every team your daughter plays for is always going to be looking for a better pitcher. My DD was #1 and the #2 was quite a ways behind. Couldn't win a game with the #2. I made it clear that my DD was not going to pitch every game because I knew this coach had ridden a prior season's #1 throwing her almost every game. That was what would keep my DD healthy and the only way #2 would get better. He would make some comments sometimes, like sure wish I could throw **** next game but I know she just pitched previous game. I just ignored him. By last 2 tournaments, #2 won a couple of games. After season, the coach told me he did not have a "real" pitcher on his team because he had seen some other 12 yo at a pitching lesson practicing all the pitches. He stated if he had a "real" pitcher, he could have won more games. My daughter is a decent pitcher. She definitely holds her own. Was his statement true that another pitcher could have won more games for him? Probably. What I decided though was this guy was an idiot based on him making this comment to me. He was lacking in character. DD is now on team with another coach. DD loves new coach and so far, he has common sense. Other coach called asking if DD would come back and play for him. Now why would he want that if she was not a "real" pitcher?

Limit your DD's innings even if it means team will loose games with other pitcher, research Kenzie Fowler and you will know why. As for this coach, he is willing to ride one pitcher. So if your DD is not his #1, she will hardly pitch. Find a team where the coach wants a team with depth and gives #1 and #2 shared pitching time (not necessarily equal). If you choose, to talk to him, be careful, coaches will tell you what you want to hear if they think you are thinking of leaving.

 

[cmustangsfp]

Agree with Jnew0872, do not have your DD as the ONLY pitcher on a team. It places tremendous pressure on her not only physically (throwing all of the games) but emotionally as well. As the only pitcher she has no time for an "off" game. She has to be on 100% of the time or the team loses. That is a heavy burden to bear. In the past I have had coaches make the same comments and my DD's are not on that team any more. A good coach will work on developing other pitchers, a bad one will ride the only one he has into the ground and then start looking for the next one to run hard and put away wet. I think it is time to find a new team or for him to find another pitcher. As long as he doesn't put your DD down in the process. However it seems like your coach is the type to ride the hot hand until they are ruined and to heck with the rest, unless the "hot hand" cools off. That type of coach would not be my DD's coach.

 

[left turn]

You thought your DD was pitching too much so you wanted another pitcher to split the work but it sounds like you can't handle watching another pitcher succeed while your DD sits. If you don't like the fact that there's another pitcher that's better than your DD you better get to work or learn to deal with it. It's a team sport.

Humpty, this is a tough comment and I don't think it is fair.

 

[humpty]

Lifes unfair