End of season parent complaints!

[chinamigarden]

No I don't home school but we don't have this kind of thing in the school she goes to. We do have frank discussions about bad choices and their consequences.

You are very fortunate. When I was in 7th grade, in 1975 there was a girl in my class who was pregnant.

My dd goes to a school with around 650 students, when my son (class of 2011) was there the largest it got was around 750. The school is in a small city and a large number of the kids who go there are from the rural townships. Not a major metro area. My kids have seen, lesbian and gay couples, pregnant girls (one was on one of those damn TV shows), a transgendered student who was a girl one year and a boy the next, a death by drugs ( a kid who played soccer with my son for 2 years) and a natural causes death (while in school) plus several serious car accidents including one where a girl lost her hand. A recent grad just died of a drug overdose. School was locked down one day because of a death threat and a hit list from a student. This is from a middle class + population with an above average academic record. Kids see and hear a lot of things, lots of it we as parents don't know about until much later. Each and every one of the things I mentioned started a conversation at our dinner table, and I think have helped prepare our kids, so when someone asks them to try something they already know what the consequences are.

 

[ASA-CROSSFIRE-12U]

Okay,I was not there,I dont know you or the team and what was going on.But rereading your post,you said that you had to get 4 guest players and later in the post you said you batted 11.The numbers show that you had 7 girls on the team all year.If that was the case the other girls that you picked up should have split their time in games.You should of gave you normal girls full playing time.I think your in for bumpy ride in travel ball.Also in one of your sentences you said something about "these girls would be an outstanding addition to my team."I read into comments like that and I would think you should of meant "our team."(My team) is a control issue,I see red flags all over your post.I think the mother was right,maybe not for doing that in front of the team,but right none the less.I would take my dd and run if I was the other parents on "YOUR TEAM."

nanotech14 why do you feel the need to bash on me? HA HA HA! I can take it though. Question for ya? Do you or have you ever coached a team? Or are you one of those parents that bring DD to practice and sit in the stands and then when you and DD get home you tell DD to do it your way? Or do you ask her how did the coaches show you? If you are the type of parent that tells DD to do it your way and your way is always the right way. Well my friend how is your DD ever going to learn something new from someone else? Like I said earlier NANOTECH14 it is my weekend and I will be back next week. You have a wonderful weekend and stay cool my friend!

 

[nanotech14]

nanotech14 why do you feel the need to bash on me? HA HA HA! I can take it though. Question for ya? Do you or have you ever coached a team? Or are you one of those parents that bring DD to practice and sit in the stands and then when you and DD get home you tell DD to do it your way? Or do you ask her how did the coaches show you? If you are the type of parent that tells DD to do it your way and your way is always the right way. Well my friend how is your DD ever going to learn something new from someone else? Like I said earlier NANOTECH14 it is my weekend and I will be back next week. You have a wonderful weekend and stay cool my friend!

well,yes I coach and very well,I look at this way when a coach says that a baseball swing is not the same as a softball swing.That tells me, that the coach does not even have a clue what they are doing.Just because you put on your coaches hat does not mean that you know everything,I have learned many thing from many views.I myself never take what one coach does as right or wrong.I digest it first and see the value or lack of value in it for my dd or the players first.Then I either dismiss it or use it to benifit the girls and put it to use to help them in their game.Not my game,my time has passed on the feild of play.My job as a coach is to ready them for the next level of softball or ready them for the challenges that they my face in life.Softball is a game,but also it has many things,that can be used benifit these girls in their future away from softball.That my freind is what coaching is about,not wins and loses.These girls in 10 years wont remeber how many games they won or lossed,but just maybe they will remeber the people that helped them to see the value that they have in this small little world.

 

[nanotech14]

nanotech14 why do you feel the need to bash on me? HA HA HA! I can take it though. Question for ya? Do you or have you ever coached a team? Or are you one of those parents that bring DD to practice and sit in the stands and then when you and DD get home you tell DD to do it your way? Or do you ask her how did the coaches show you? If you are the type of parent that tells DD to do it your way and your way is always the right way. Well my friend how is your DD ever going to learn something new from someone else?

How do you know that the parent doesn't know more then you?If my dd played for you (for example) and maybe I just did not want to coach the team.I would by far, from what I have learned from you in your few post know more then you.(Example from you ,what does a baseball swing have to do with softball?It is like mixing oil and water.)enough said have a good weekend,and by the way,I have had parents that knew more then me about different things in softball.I enjoy when a parent sees something the team can improve on,after all it is "our team,not just mine."

 

[JAD]

Using pickup players is always a double edge sword. If you sit your regular players, their parents will be upset. If you don't play the pickup players, their parents will wonder "why did we even bother picking up'? Was this an ASA tournament - the rules regarding pickups gets even more difficult with 'redlining'. Best to try to rotate everyone into the game, which you can do if you bat everyone. If you only bat 9 it gets trickier having to use subs.

 

[crystlemc]

I have to say, if you needed 4 pickups to play your last tournament, then I would have serious reservations about playing with you again the following year. If the girls you replaced had commitments that you knew about from the start, and you still scheduled to play that tournament, then I would question your planning abilities. If you didn't know about the commitments, then I would question the overall commitment of the team. If they left because of some other reason, then I would have to question your coaching/interpersonal relations. This is a no-win situation in my mind.

 

[EP Dad]

Being a parent myself I don't understand what other parents hope to accomplish by undermining the coach? Maybe someone can explain it to me.

My DD essentially became a pitching specialist this season. What do I mean by that? Well, she pitched her games, sat on the bench for the most part in the other games, and was the flex player when she pitched so she didn't get to bat.

Was I supposed to complain or have a fit over it? I didn't see the point. She was one of the worst hitters on the team and her fielding outside the pitching mound is suspect. I was still proud of her cause she worked hard all year, she didn't cry to the coach about playing time or pitching time, and when her number was called she did what she was supposed to do to the best of her ability. Isn't that what teams sports is supposed to be?

I can't say that all the other parents saw it my way. Was I supposed to change and be like the majority? Or should I have just done what I did and accepted my daughters fate and told her (like I did) that we need to work even harder if we want more playing time?

I guess I can understand if someone thinks something isn't fair that they would complain. But, I've yet to see any situation in life that was fair. So, getting all angry about it doesn't seem like a productive use of time to me. Generally you did something to agree to be on that team. If it's travel you tried out. If it's club you tried out for many teams and picked the team you wanted. You made the selection. If it doesn't work out during the year you made the mistake. So, you brush yourself off make the best of it and move on to next season and learn from it.

 

[nanotech14]

The part that I find wrong in his logic is he picked up 4 girls to give him a 11,he batted a 11.He could of let his 7 orginal girls play every game and let the other 4 come in and out on defense.That means that 2 go in on defense and 2 come out.They still got to hit.They could of shared time in the outfield,not that outfield is not that important but it could of gave is normal 7 girls a chance to get the game time.Instead if I read it right he was not using all of his normal 7,sitting some of them to give the 4 pickup girls more game time.I wonder if his dd came out for a pickup player,I dont know maybe yes,maybe no?The mother of the girl has every right to be upset with him,if this is how he did the playing time.The mother should of waited until after his meeting,but had the right to be mad.Heres the thing, too he just aired this whole thing out,not knowing,who could be reading this.Used team name and where they are from,bad idea!
1.) for him it means if parents in his area are looking for a team,this could give him negative light
2.) he is slamming a 12yo girl on line,not knowing if this girl or her parents come to this site,the parents can take the comments,but the girl might not.
This is the reason I'am giving him a hard time.You want to air something out that is fine,but you do it with out team names and location.These girls are 12yo not Pro's,dont hurt their future,because your feelings got hurt.

 

[EP Dad]

It does work both ways. The coach doesn't gain anything by ripping the player or her parents either. I've seen both avenues traveled and neither one got anybody anything.

 

[Michael N]

Pick up players are a touchy subject but my philosophy is that they are guests on our team . We asked them to come and help us in a time of need since other members of our team were unable to be at a tournament . You cannot disrespect them by making them sit and only using them in an emergency . I realize that other players have been there for the whole season but they need to understand that the actions of a few of their team mates have put them in a position where they need outside help and you cannot then turn around and disrespect that help . If your parents don't understand then its time for them to go find another team .

To those of you who think you can carry 9-10 players into a tournament and be successful I would say you are going to run the risk of forfeiting some games . When you wind up with a couple injured kids or someones late due to a flat tire , traffic , getting lost or a combination of all these things plus you are already down a player due to vacation or other commitments your gonna be glad you have 11-12 players .

Thats just been my experience and my DD plays in the same area as Crossfire's does .