End of season parent complaints!

[ASA-CROSSFIRE-12U]

What a year! This is my first year in a ASA/TB team 12U. I have to say it is the best league around here. I have coached for 6 years in little league and this year the parents have been the worst I have ever had! I brought 5 girls over from Little League that I have coached the 3 years. 2 of them quit mid season due to it being to competitive and parents not understanding what TB was all about. (even after having it in writing how many tournaments the team would play)Have a player #1 that is all over the place and never really has a grasp on where to throw the ball/ not swing at pitches that go above her head or roll on the ground. I have worked and worked with her and she still just doesn't get it. Two other girls that are sisters 1 used to pitch in LL #2 and has lost her drive to pitch and doesn't practice off the field, she cannot get it to the plate from 40'. The older sister is a heck of a player no problems what so ever.

So this weekend we had our last tournament it was a 4gg with pool play on Friday. I was short 4 players going into it as some of my original players where done playing for the team due to previous commitments. So I let the other parents and players know we would be short and if we still wanted to play that I would need to find 4 pick up players. Everyone agreed to get the pick up players. I contacted some other head coaches from other teams and was able to pick up 4 really well rounded players. We had 3 practices and those 4 players where a outstanding addition to my team. Parents where raving about how good it was to see them in practice ect ect.

So at the tournament during pool play I batted my entire lineup 11 players. Had my infield positions great we where hanging in there with very good teams. I had sat out girl #1 that is all over the place but she had batted twice and put her in as a sub. #2 girl that lost interest in pitching was a sub as well. Unfortunatly we lost both games so we went into the loosers bracket. Saturday morning rolls around and right before game time #2 girls mom comes up and just blows her top and want to know why her daughter is not playing in the infield or pitching. I told her now is not the time for that discussion and her daughter got the playing time and not to worry we still have 2 more games left. Game 1 started my girls just where flat footed out there and could not get going. Lost really bad but played a very respectable team that we have played before won against them in league play. Game 2 went with the same defense and changed out pitchers and was doing really well. Then all of a sudden when it was girl #2 at bat she was no where to be found, I looked over and she is sitting with her mom! I told her "hey we need her at bat" mother says "she is done" I was floored! I scramble to get the team back on track after girls are upset over the crazyness. Ended the game and we where out.

After the game I took the team out for our team meeting as we normally do and player #2's mom,#1 mom start walking over to the meeting and I asked them to wait until we are finished and everyone will get together as this was our last game together this year for most of the players. Two players where asked to play on a very good tournament team for another tournament. (1 being my daughter) (Big grin from dad/coach) #2's mom told her other daughter to leave with her and she didn't need to stay for anything. I didn't say a word and let her go. #1's mom pulled me aside when the meeting and goodbye's where over and just ripped me about how I should have been more loyal to her daughter and that her daughter should have never sat out over the pickup players and her daughter is better than anyone on this team. She would not listen to reason or from a coaching stand point. (Her husband helps me and my AC out) He just stood there and never said a word. I was in total shock with what she was saying. She was ripping me infront of some of the players and other parents. I never once raised my voice to her or anything I just kept telling her lets not talk about this here or now! So I just told her "I am sorry you feel that way" and had to walk away before I looked like the total A$$...

The other parents that have been a part of my team from the start had came to my house later that day and was more than thankful for what I did all season and they wanted to know If I will be having a TB next year and they want to be a part of it and stick together and get better. That sure did make my season! It wasn't about the winning or loosing but about seeing the players improve and grow as a team. I may be beating a dead horse with all the parent drama but I have never had this happen ever.

Thanks for letting me vent! I feel much better now! Anyone else have this happen? What did you do?

 

[Rooster's Dad]

I'm sure you're aware that your situation happens quite a bit. It's more prevalent when making the transition from Little League to travel ball. Almost every parent views their kid through rose colored glasses and doesn’t understand that elimination play calls for your best nine on the field. Just continue to work with the ones that stay, achieve your team’s goals, and “keep calm and carry on”.

 

[CoogansBluff]

Almost every parent ... doesn’t understand that elimination play calls for your best nine on the field.

Even if that means having 2 pickup players on the field and 2 regular team players on the bench?

 

[CoogansBluff]

So at the tournament during pool play I batted my entire lineup 11 players. ... I had sat out girl #1 that is all over the place but she had batted twice and put her in as a sub. #2 girl that lost interest in pitching was a sub as well.

I'm confused. If they were in the batting lineup, then how were they subs? I don't play ASA, so maybe I don't understand the rules or terminology. Do you mean they were hitters only, and didn't play the field?

If they didn't play in the field, and pickup players took their place in the field, then it's understandable that parents would be upset. As a parent or player, I wouldn't like it one bit. I wouldn't mind the pickup players getting equal playing time, but not more.

Also, you said ''Everyone agreed to get the pick up players.'' You had only 7 players, so of course they agreed to get pickup players. I'm confused by that comment.

I also don't see how player #1's hitting struggles are a factor here. She's struggling. So what? Player #2 is a little different in that you say she's lost interest in pitching. If someone stops giving effort, then that's reason to limit pitching opportunities, IMO.

All that said, parents who have their children quit in the middle of the tournament, or who bless you out in front of other parents and players, are not parents you want. It's unforgivable. Good riddance. You've worked too hard to be treated like that.

 

[Lozza]

Even if that means having 2 pickup players on the field and 2 regular team players on the bench?

Well yes. Best players on the diamond.

 

[CoogansBluff]

Thanks for letting me vent! I feel much better now! Anyone else have this happen? What did you do?

I didn't address this part. I've never had a parent verbally attack me. But I have had a parent pull her child in the middle of a tournament. I told them not to come back. They actually tried out for the team again the next season. I didn't take them back. A parent that would do that is not one that I want a part of the team.

 

[InsidePitch]

I find a lot of this happens because coaches do not communicate changes in playing time to the parent. Some will argue that it is the perogative of the coach to determine playing time and they shouldn't have to explain themselves. BUT, if little Suzy was the starting P or SS and now a sub is playing their spot, it might require a more indepth explaination over, "we decided to try something different."

If all the sudden Geter isn't getting his reps, you know his manager will be all over the team mgmt. Why do we think little Suzy's mom is any different?

 

[CoogansBluff]

Well yes. Best players on the diamond.

Do you agree w/ that, Lozza? You've been a champion for letting kids play. I agree w/ you so often when it comes to this philosophy. I see no value in letting pickup players take away opportunities that my regular players would normally get. If the pickup is an infielder and you're missing an infielder, then no one is inconvenienced. But I would never allow a hard-working regular team member to play less than normal because of a pickup player. The competitive advantage that I might get from a pickup player is not worth compromising my regulars.

 

[CycloneSoftball22]

Well , I had two players quit this weekend as well. Both were players that were carry overs from last year. They expected to play certain positions going into the year , but a couple of players that made the team through try outs this year were simply better at those positions and earned the spots. This created growing tension on our team . Anyway , the two hold overs ended up being my LF and CF (instead of 3B and SS which they expected). Both kinda sulked all year and their performance suffered. The girl who played LF played so poorly this season that she ended up basically being in a rotational situation for playing time. She struck out 22 of the 38 plate appearances. Yesterday , before our last game , her mom went off on me in front of everyone and basically said it my fault that her DD wasnt playing well and I had killed her confidence and she wasnt going to play softball anymore. This girl was a second year 14u player and was going to have to leave the team in the Fall anyway as most of our team is first year 14u and will still be playing 14u next year. So , not a huge loss for our team going forward. The second player however is the one that bothers me most. She is a very athletic girl and last year I moved her to CF to take advantage of her skills. She ended up being named our Defensive MVP at the year end banquet. This year she wanted to move back to infield. I actually started her at SS during our first tournament , but she just wasnt up to the task. Since then , one of our newer players stepped up her game and has become our regular SS. She and her parents have been unhappy about her being "stuck" in the outfield. No matter how much I try to convey to them that outfield at 14u is extremely important and I have her in CF for a reason , they feel as if I am doing her wrong. She was also to be our #2 pitcher going into the season , but since her attitude soured, she quit putting in the work and was passed up in that position as well dropping to the #3. Once again , I was blamed for "disrespecting" her and causing a lack of effort. Sorry , for the long post , but the OP hit close to home and I needed to vent as well.

 

[sluggers]

But I would never allow a hard-working regular team member to play less than normal because of a pickup player.

The problem is bigger than one game. If you have a large roster at the beginning of the year (14 or 15 girls), then you never have to worry about pickup players, although the parents will complain about playing time. If you have a small roster (10 or 11 girls), then there is a constant risk you will need pickup players. Once a coach has pickup players, then you have to treat them as well or better than the regulars--or they will never come back.

As I've said a couple of times, the only time I became angry with a TB coach was when she begged my DD to come play for her one weekend because they were going to be short a couple of players. After we got up early and made the hour drive to the tournament, then my kid sat the bench. Obviously, the next time she asked for help, we weren't available.