Dealing with team after a horrible day of playing

[3'sDad]

Ah yes...the aliens in the uniform syndrome. Your team went to bed at night as 13-16 y/o girls and while they slept, their bodies and minds were invanded by beings from another planet.

Not much you can do about it, especially if it occurs only sporatically other then what Amy suggested "clean out your junk from the dougout, practice is at __ PM on __________."

Amy is the one who should write the book for us as SHE'S lived this by playing and coaching softball. Who's in to raise the funds for publishing and her stipend?

 

[chinamigarden]

Sometimes the best thing to say is.

We made some mistakes and identified some things we need to work on in practice. Forget about today, we will do better at the next tourney. See you at practice.

 

[Casey]

I do with my HS team what Amy suggested. I ask them in a real nonjudgemental way. They are teen age girls, they love to talk, and more often than not they will tell u exactly what happened.

 

[starsnuffer]

The only thing I would tell them is to remember how they feel. It sucks, doesn't it? The coach feels it, and the players feel it. It's early in the season, so it's good to get it out of the way. Remember how it feels and do your best to avoid feeling like that in the future. Now move on. If it becomes a habit, then you have other issues. See how things go next weekend.

-W

 

[Indiana]

My High School lacrosse coach was the best coach I've ever had - including college. She never yelled, but had a quiet intensity about her that we were not apt to cross. She insisted that we never, ever cut corners. Go full speed in drills, run with maximum effort (no jogging along and chatting - she would run with us and if she beat any one of us we'd have to run extra). She also said things that stick with me to this day. "Play so that you can look back on this day and have no regrets". "If someone gives you a beer at a party, go ahead and take it, so you don't feel like a dweeb, but secretly pour it into a plant" (not so sure about that one now that I'm a mom LOL!). If we were really falling down as a team, she could ferret out the one or two girls that were at the center of it. She would privately call them into her office and have a heart to heart. It was usually something not at all related to lacrosse - boyfriend troubles, "friend group" troubles, failing a class, etc. Girls need to talk - it makes us feel better about what is bothering us. Don't freak over one tournament, but watch your girls like a hawk and always expect them to give you their best.

 

[HornetsCoach]

Read them the riot act. Then Tell them 'someday you're the dog and Somedays you're the hydrant' then tell them the good news is that they are awesome and are going to run the table the rest of the year.

 

[undergroundga]

I don't think ranting really helps anyway, unless you are ttrying to motivate with fear. Boys or girls. I'm glad attitudes are changing with regards to the way boys are bullied. That said a loud stern voice is good to get the attention of youth's, male and female.
What annoys me are coaches that go to the extreme opposite and coddle the girls. My dd is only 9, but I get so tired of coaches after terrible games played half heartedly telling girls they did a great job by not giving up and how proud they are of them. That's my job, as a parent. I want a coach to be stern and to discipline them in a positive way, I will buy the ice cream to console them later.
But boys and girls are different. I think that everytime I see a player rubbing the back of her pitcher after a few bad pitches. You won't see that in baseball.
I hope that as you go up in age groups the girls shouldn't have to be told what they did wrong, however discipline should also increase.
Sometimes you do have to just pack it in and move on. Short term memory!

 

[Greenmonsters]

HS liability now you would never have a kid in your office in private without the door open and another adult witness in there.

In any type of ball, you never delve into personal lives especially boyfriend troubles, because that can get you into worse trouble. Seen it in the papers around here. Don't do it.

Coaches are not psychologists, family counselors or social workers and should not be expected to do so. Nor is it appropriate or necessary to run a good team. You are asking for drama queens who have all kinds of excuses, even if you don't understand the liability issues. There are boundaries.

Girls can talk with their friends, family, guidance counselor, not the coach.

Agreed, but like a good teacher, a good coach will try to understand each kid and figure out what makes them tick and how to motivates them to perform to the best of their ability.

 

[ScottBev]

Man did I ever need this thread Saturday. We have a great group of girls, that apparently decided to take Saturday off. Wouldn't have been so bad, if that meant we didn't have to spend 8 hours outside in 90+ degree heat.

After the final game of the day, HC had them run for a bit and discussed the lack of effort shown. Sunday was fun and a completely different team came out to play. Saturday all we had to show was a complete lack of effort; Sunday we made mistakes, but we can work on fixing those.

 

[Sweet Lou]

Funny story: A parent told me his 10 year old daughter can take a screaming coach (she is in travel), but his 14 year old son can't, so he kept the kid off JV baseball.

Not that funny. My son had an intense yeller coach at age 9. He quit BB after that season. Admittedly he may have quit after that season anyway as BB was never really his thing but coach pushed him out compeletely. Though he does have fond memories of the one game he got to pitch an inning in a blow out loss, I think that was the one highlight of his season.