COACH, I could use some segestions

[MsDinosaur]

I'm not terribly experienced at all this and I'm getting confused. You're just going to have your daughter keep practicing with team A for 2 weeks and then leave to go play with team B if the Coach A doesn't officially notify you that she's on his team by that time?

If I was Coach A, I think that sudden departure would make me a lot more likely to blacklist a kid than having her parent ask me where she stood.

 

[starsnuffer]

Communication is the key to humanity. Can never overestimate the need for clear, accurate communication in order to provide enough intelligence on which to base any decisions. Gather then intelligence, then make the decision.

-W

 

[Dave D]

In my time as a coach, the most frustrating thing for me has been parents who "shut their mouths" out of fear that they would upset the situation, then came back later and complained that I hadn't been approachable or available. I can't see how any coach, no matter how dominant a program he runs, would be unwilling to talk objectively and rationally about where a player stood within his program--and here's the qualifier--if he was a coach whose team I would want to be involved with.

I've certainly had parents pick the wrong time and place (a subject covered time and again on this forum), but a parent who approaches the conversation rationally, openly, and honestly, as the OP suggests he would like to do, should be able to expect the same in return from the coach, and should be VERY wary of a coach who won't

 

[Wookie]

The coach is checking to see which player she is before making the offer - the one during tryouts or the one that has no team and is trying to impress. He has already stated to her in front of you that she did not "bring it" during tryouts, and that is why she was not on the team originally. Although he has an open spot, he is seeing if your DD is going to play like she wants to be on a team, or if she's going to be on "auto pilot" as she was during tryouts. She was probably asked to train with the team because of the past relationship with the organization, plus she may have been one of the alternates in case someone got hurt and he didn't want you to go elsewhere.

If it were me and I was in this situation, I'd go to the coach, ask him if he's going to make an offer to be on the team since there is now a roster spot open. If the answer is anything other than a yes, tell him that you have been approached by other teams and will most likely join those teams, then I would turn to leave with DD. If he is on the fence, this will get him off.

As a coach, I've done the opposite after tryouts. Some girls/parents were interested in playing but weren't making the commitment - "still deciding" as the parents put it. I told them that they either had to decide right then and there, or they were no longer able to practice or participate since the organization's insurance does not cover non-rostered players.

That coach needs to either fish or cut bait.

 

[Topdog@3rd]

So Cal, Igree I'm overthinking. Somewhat? I can't screw this up. And yes this means as much to dd as well.
Wookie. I go to the coach and I'm wrong she is done there, at 13 forever, this is how it works.
I need you all to understand. I said I would never glote about the kid. And I won't. ok I did a bit in the 1st post. but again there are older stronger kids in the age group that will to sell there left leg just to be where she is. Please keep up the coraspondence. I have a day or two. Now the wife wants on the computer. I'll check back in shortly. Thanks

 

[Wookie]

Topdog - I don't understand why you asking the coach if she's on the team or not constitutes being "done there....forever"? To me, that would indicate that you are in the wrong organization no matter if she's on the team or not. If that's the type of organization that they run, I'd leave without looking back. I would be not have my DD on a team who would not like you to ask about YOUR daughter and HER options. They are stringing her and you along, for no reason nor payout on your end, other than additional practice/training.

 

[FPMark]

All I'm saying is, if he can string your DD along and hold her off another team, then he most likely will. In my opinion, it would be best if you told him she is wanted by another team. He can't expect her to "tag along" as a reserve player forever. I under stand that you think highly of this team and/or coach, but you have to look out for your DD. There has to be other competitive teams out there. What happens if some big "stud" shows up looking for a team and coach offers her a spot?

You should be able to have an honest conversation with him and just let him know that it's time for you to get your DD on a team. I don't know where you live but around here, teams are picked, practices are underway (inside mostly), and tournaments begin in March.
It's better to play on a weaker team than to sit in the bleachers and watch.

 

[Topdog@3rd]

All I'm saying is, if he can string your DD along and hold her off another team, then he most likely will. In my opinion, it would be best if you told him she is wanted by another team. He can't expect her to "tag along" as a reserve player forever. I under stand that you think highly of this team and/or coach, but you have to look out for your DD. There has to be other competitive teams out there. What happens if some big "stud" shows up looking for a team and coach offers her a spot?

You should be able to have an honest conversation with him and just let him know that it's time for you to get your DD on a team. I don't know where you live but around here, teams are picked, practices are underway (inside mostly), and tournaments begin in March.
It's better to play on a weaker team than to sit in the bleachers and watch.

I agree, I should be able to talk. Don't misunderstand. The coach the team the orgnization all are great and only play at the highest level. The coaches are great with the kids as well and they, the girls, recieve only the best of everything.
As far as going to another team. Honestly there are no other teams or org's that are as competive or good. Remember, this is the kid that didn't show for tryouts because she thought she was a shoe-in. (I still want to kick her in the butt) She has learned a thing or two sence. I kept telling her, it's a whole new deal, get out there and work. This kid is practicing out of her socks now. A little to late, maybe? That is why the coach said WHERE were you? Maybe he is teaching a life lession and she won't be asked? That is what I'm thinking and I've told her that as well.
I also agree it is better to play than sit. There inlies a issue as well. the two other teams here that can meet her standards and play great ball are full, (I beleave) and over 2 hrs. each way. I understand it called travel ball. But where do we as parents draw the line on driving just for practice. Turney's I understand, we have driven and had to fly. I'm ok with that.
dd just can't get anything out of most other programs. thus gets board. Even a local 16 had her come out she was asked to join. she and I just didn't see the intencty from them eather and declined. Maybe a life lession for both of us. Once you tasted the sweets of success at the top, it's hard to go back to eatting crackers. LOL God this is giong to be a long year!!!

Well Sunday is the big day, guess I'll test the water before I jump in.

Anyone know of a team in the mid west area of Ohio, Indy, PA, Il, or Tenn. Looks like she may need some options and know I'll be doing some driving. LOL, LOL
Thanks again. This has been a great topic. At my expence. Ha, ha
Signing off for now.
Afraid to man up.