COACH, I could use some segestions

[Topdog@3rd]

Good morning,
I know spell check sorry
1st. Coaches I am not a parent that looks threw rose colored glasses, I can tell a apple from an orange and when my kids are the orange. I told myself I will not be, "one of those parents" a long time ago. You know the type I'm talking about. I have been the G.M. and assested the last 2 years on my older 14 then 15u dd's team. So I do know what you go threw.
2nd If you are a coach please note in your reply.
3rd. I have a just turned, 13 and 2 mo. old dd. She did not make the team she wanted. She was however invited to run with all winter practices and the team.
This team is elite, one of top in the state, she played last year with the same org. different team and coach. She has played elite 3 years, till now.
New Coach loves her. His question to her last week wile I'm standing there talking to him and she walked up was, "Where THE HECK were you at tryouts"? (she did not "sell herself", "thought she was a auto" she was there and he knew of her at that point, we have knowen the family for years)
This is where the plot thickens.
dd has been invited to play with several other teams. She is crazzy competive and a mid 2 threw 5 on any team (she started in fall-ball with the varsty HS team at 3rd and short, batted 3, 4 or 5 every game) ok I'm going to say it, she not a bad ball player, there I said it, sorry I slipped a little theres those glasses, LOL. Anyway, I see it, the few teams she has gone to a practice with just aren't at the same level. There is one 14u that will play some good ball this year. They want her to play in a tourney in less than 2 weeks then make her decission. Sight unseen by them. I scout the practices b-4 hand.
The team that she wanted and is practicing with has had a girl move and there is a spot now open. Practices are to run till end of march.
Now if she plays in 2 weeks and then the team she wants, coach finally gets around to asking her to join them, she at that point will be not able to play in any asa tourney's and he will not take her. Can't blame him. BUT.
Do you have your watters on, it about to get deeper?
Now the question, do I try to explain to the coach and ask I he is going to take her?? The feeling and only a feeling, (many in the Orgnization as well) is she's on the team, yet not been ask. this is feeling we even get from him too.
See there is the problem then I become "that parent". This will probley black list me and maybe my kid??
Note, the coach and I are cool because I'm not that parent like many others he has. And he tells me about them all the time, he comes to me!! Wile stepping on people to talk to me. He has a way about him. Everyone knows if you are in his circle and if your not. That type of guy he is. He's great to me. But what the heck do I do???????????????????????????
What a delema
Pray for the best and decline the other team. nicely???
Anyone in Calif. or Az. have a spot for a really hard working kid?? LOL I'm ready
Signed tired of the snow.

 

[01mom]

I would simply talk to him and explain the situation and ask if he is looking to fill that open spot w/ your DD. The only way to know is to communicate, just don't be "that parent" if he says no to her. Thank him and move on.

 

[KevinC]

First of all I'm not a travel ball coach.

She's going to play on some club team this summer, correct? You need to get her on a team. If it's not your first choice team then you need to commit to another team. I don't see why any coach would "black list" you if you explained your situation that way and asked him what his intentions were. If he can't commit to picking her up than you need to start looking elsewhere.

Good luck.

 

[amanda_cake]

First of all... if he wants your DD for the open spot, why hasn't he already asked her? Is coach waiting to see if he has any better prospects come along? I wouldn't like it if he kept me hanging like that. I'd talk to him and see what his intentions are. It can't hurt.

 

[sluggers]

Agree with KevinC and amanda_cake...tell the coach that if he wants your DD, then he should ask. If doesn't want her, then she is going to play on another team.

Don't be too cute...this is your DD. If he isn't interested, thank him for his time and move on.

 

[Sparky Guy]

You say you're on good terms with the #1 team coach. Here is what you do. You tell the coach of the #1 team your DD has been asked to guest play on another team in a couple of weeks. Then ask him if he thinks it'll screw things up if she signs the other team's roster and ends up playing on another team.

Now you've informed him that other teams are interested in your DD and you think enough of his experience and judgment to seek is advice on what can become a bad situation later during the season. If he has any intention of putting your daughter on the roster this will give him the impetus to do so. Now you don't look like "That parent" to him. If anything you raised your standing in the coach's eyes.

 

[jacketsfan]

As a coach, I agree with the above. Maybe, he wants to see her perform in a game before he invites her. I used to have that policy way back, because it was hard to tell in practice what they would like in games. I don't have it now.

I think the "is it OK with you if she guests with this other team, to get a jump on some game time" question does all you need to do. You seek his advice, you let him know she's wanted by others, and you let him know she's competitive, and in a weird way, committed to him as well. If that doesn't prompt him to give her a spot, then you might just have to outright ask where she stands.

Having been through the recruiting process (college), I can tell you that it's not such a bad thing to get used to - asking where she's at - at this age, because it is likely to come up later.

 

[FPMark]

As a retiring coach, I disagree a little with asking the coach of a team that "invited" her to "run with all winter practices and the team" anything. If she has not been invited to join the team, then it is time to find another team. If your DD really wants to play on his team though, I would mention to him in your next conversation that you are about to commit to another team. If he really wants her, and has an opening for her, he will say so. If not, go to the other team. I don't see how this could lead to hard fealings.

You will have given him first option without implying that you expect anything. But I wouldn't just wait around untill tournaments begin or you may find your DD has no team. It's time to start practicing with the team she will play with.

 

[Topdog@3rd]

First thank you for your input. here are a few coments on the stuff you have said.
It seems you, most all think I should go to him. I think asking what his intentions are and she has other teams she can join is the way to go. But,
I also agree it's not my place to ask as FPMark stated. That is my delema, On the other hand we kinda need to know. This is not just a team org. that you just move on from. Really no matter the age group and where you are from, when a coach from anywhere in the states see's that they are in a tourney they plan to play, most know they are going to get a game.
yes, I'm sure he is wating to see if something or someone else comes along. I do see his point on this as well. dd is good but, as always there are kids that are going to be stronger and given dd's age, alot older. I know as well they'er out there and caoches job is to win.

"black list. It is that type of org. (it can be), but once in, you really don't want to be on outside. And as I said it is one of the tops here and I don't want to screw up my kids chances down the road, years to come.
FP, "hard feelings" That is just how this guy is and the other teams are, It's like walking on egg shells. It's just one of the things you are expected to do. The thought process is, you don't like it, lump it. Then we will see you wile running you into the dirt on the field, and you won't return.
now I wrote this I know what I need to do and that is just keep my mouth shut.

I don't know. I wanted to throw it out there and see what you had to say. Thanks
Again anyone have a spot in some warmer weather, we're ready.
Thanks and have a great day.

 

[SoCalSoftballdad]

First thank you for your input. here are a few coments on the stuff you have said.
It seems you, most all think I should go to him. I think asking what his intentions are and she has other teams she can join is the way to go. But,
I also agree it's not my place to ask as FPMark stated. That is my delema, On the other hand we kinda need to know. This is not just a team org. that you just move on from. Really no matter the age group and where you are from, when a coach from anywhere in the states see's that they are in a tourney they plan to play, most know they are going to get a game.
yes, I'm sure he is wating to see if something or someone else comes along. I do see his point on this as well. dd is good but, as always there are kids that are going to be stronger and given dd's age, alot older. I know as well they'er out there and caoches job is to win.

"black list. It is that type of org. (it can be), but once in, you really don't want to be on outside. And as I said it is one of the tops here and I don't want to screw up my kids chances down the road, years to come.
FP, "hard feelings" That is just how this guy is and the other teams are, It's like walking on egg shells. It's just one of the things you are expected to do. The thought process is, you don't like it, lump it. Then we will see you wile running you into the dirt on the field, and you won't return.
now I wrote this I know what I need to do and that is just keep my mouth shut.

I don't know. I wanted to throw it out there and see what you had to say. Thanks
Again anyone have a spot in some warmer weather, we're ready.
Thanks and have a great day.

You are overthinking the situation. There is some great advice in this thread. Take control of the situation, talk to the coach, and make the best decision for your family.