Bad situation....

[southwestsoftball]

So this year I coached my dd's rec 10U team. I was given 14 girls on my roster. We went 17-0 on the season. 14 of our games only lasted 4 innings due to the 10 run rule. Every single girl sat out at least 1 inning a game( except my P). Every single girl played at the very least 2 innings a game. Still overall none of our girls played very many innings due to the 17-2 and 15-5 type games we played in.

I have a girl on my team who was the 2nd youngest. Only person she was older than was my dd. I heard rumblings from my wife and from other parents that dad didnt like the innings their dd was getting and thought she should be in the infield most of the time. ( She played about 6-7 innings at 2B out of 15 games she was at). She was our 3rd 2B and so she primarily played OF but was given the experience of playing 2B in games and always got reps their in practice. She also had the teams 11th best BA. She pretty much either hit a double or struck out. Not a great OBP. She is a great kid. Fun to be around, solid work ethic and has potential to be a good little player. However, going 17-0 we obviously had a good amount of talent and most of it was older or more experienced than her. She truthfully was scared to play infield first half of the year and we worked her into being comfortable. Next year I have no doubt she will start for her team in the infield when she plays with girls her age.

Fast forward to present time. 3 of my girls had vacations planned and didnt play in All Stars with us. One of them, was my best 1B, my 2nd best C and my 4th best P. She is also 5'6, 150 and hit about .450 on the year. Then, my dd was only league age 8 and wasnt allowed to play with us for All Stars because of that. She was one of my top infielders, my 3rd best P, my best bunter and one of the teams fastest....... and despite being the teams youngest........one of our top 2 team verbal leaders.

Now we are in All Stars with 10 girls on our roster. ( Without 2 of my top 5 players).Had our first game and won by 10 run rule in 4 innings. The girl whose parents had complained all year started at RF and played 2 innings. I subbed her out in the 3rd to get our 10th player her minimum amount of innings for the game( 2 innings). After the 4th inning, I planned on putting the original girl back in and having her finish at 2B. Like I mentioned we 10 run ruled them and had a 8 run 4th inning so the game ended. After the game the player cried and I had a talk with her that she did nothing wrong and that she was scheduled to play 2B and go back into the game because she deserved it. After I spoke with the team mom comes to the dugout and starts asking if we even need her because I dont play her and she didnt play at all this game. I replied by explaining that our sub needed a minimum amount of innings and that her dd still landed up playing 2 of the 4 innings. She continued to argue with me that she didnt play 2 innings at all and that she might not come to our next game.

I let a day go by and had one of my AC's call to talk about what had happened. No reply. I tried calling today. No reply. Had practice this afternoon..........girl not there. So if this girl was in fact pulled by her parents.........we are now down to 9 girls on our roster, with only 2 P's and a HUGE target on our back from our regular season dominance.

Im really upset about the situation. Mainly because the girls on my team deserve to have a chance and with only 9 girls Im not sure we can win district. Now dont get me wrong we are good enough to win. However if one little injury or illness happens we are done! Thats some big risk. I feel like thie girls might be getting their great season and chance at going to state hijacked by a dad ( who I have heard thinks he is God's gift to baseball coaching) and a mom who I thought was with us as a team( not as an individual). Plus their dd deserves to play too. She worked hard all year and if they in fact pull her from the team, she will now be playing NO INNINGS and wont have a chance to win either. Im really bummed for my girls. This means a lot to them and I really hope this young lady is with us still. Like I said, I really like her, she adds to our team and she deserves to play with us. My girls at least deserve a shot to finish their work. Cross your fingers for my girls. Really bummed out and hoping for the best.

 

[southwestsoftball]

Oh and BTW......

I have multiple sclerosis. Every single day is a true test of my will power and strength both mentally and physcially. I have severe fatigue( like crazy ridiculous, unexplainable faitgue), I get the shakes, I am in constant pain and many other things...........but I do it because these girls are worth it to me. So while I know that coaching is hard for everyone, its especially hard for me due to my health. It kind of feels like a giant slap in the face to give so much of myself and get this in return.

 

[02Crush]

Let it go and play your best with 9. You are not going to get through to the parents and the players is secretly happy to be out of the situation where all her parents do it complain. If you wear this situation on your sleeve in front of the other 9 they will feed off if it so remain positive and play on! Good Luck.

 

[southwestsoftball]

Thanks Crush, I think your right. Do you think I should call them again?

 

[GOINGDEEP]

Had the same thing happen 2 years ago in a USSSA state tournament. We were rotating 12 players, innings wise. One girl did not get to play in the champ game, and all heck broke loose. The parents went nuts, not because we lost the game without their DD, but we won the game without DD. ( what the fudge? )

I couldn't get in touch with them for 2 weeks, and we had tourneys. Finally the dad called and said she quit. I told him I was sorry she felt that way, it was just the luck of rotation that particular game. That was 2nd year 14u, and she hasn't played TB since. I think she was just looking for "the" excuse.

I'd say call them one more time, send a quick email and be done if no reply.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

People really do not like to watch someone else's kid play ball. The kids sign up to play.

I will play devil's advocate.
Shuffling 2 kids in and out of RF, is not right. That isn't fun. I think that you made a mistake. They are only 9YOs and now, there is probably at least one girl that is done with softball. Why run rule all of those teams, while having little, less skilled girls sit the bench?

Honestly, my compliments to you for soldiering on, during your illness. I have a sister with Rheumatoid Arthritis and I understand your pain.

 

[quincy]

was scared to play infield first half of the year and we worked her into being comfortable.

Been there, great for you working with her. IDK but that is what Rec. is about not winning every game.

 

[southwestsoftball]

To answer you playing devils advocate:

Why run rule all those teams? Well, my girls hit the ball really well against them and we had 4 pitchers who would be #1's on almost any other team in our division. I picthed 9 different girls through out the season at least two times each. So I didnt stack things up to run rule people. I certainly wasnt going to tell my girls to not try their hardest and not score runs or not strike people out so that we could play 6 innings instead of 4.

Also, I didnt have less skilled girls ride the bench at all. Every girl played at least 2 and usually 3 innings in every game. Considering 90% of our games were only 4 innings long, thats pretty good. Every girl on my team sat at least one inning in every game( except if a P had a great game and picthed the whole time....I left them in) Otherwise innings were shared pretty evenly. Truth be told, 2 of my better girls played less innings than some of my other girls because they hardly came to practice and when they were there either didnt listen or were disrespectful. We worked on it and I feel like they have made some huge strides in that department.

Lastly, I wasnt going to punish my better players( who worked hard and listened) for being good players. It wouldnt have been fair to them to play them one inning and let everyone else play 4 or 5, just so we would get to games that lasted 5 or 6 innings.

So again I think this is what is so frustrating on my end. I had teaching and development as my number one goals ahead of winning, but not instead of winning. We were able to play everyone a lot( percentage wise) and able to win convincingly even with our less skilled girls in the games. 2 girls on our team were definitely a step behind everyone else on the team in every regard. However, they made huge strides and their parents thanked me up and down for working with them as much as the studs and for playing them as much as I did. Obviously not EVERYONE felt that way. This crazy part is that checking my books, this particular player had more innings then 5 other girls on the team. Cant please everyone and thats ok with me. I have coached long enough to know that a long time ago. However, I dont like that my other girls might have to pay the price because these people think their daughter is too good to be subbed in a game for a couple innings.

BTW thanks for your comments. RA is very hard, your sister is a trooper Im sure. Best wishes for her as well.

 

[southwestsoftball]

Been there, great for you working with her. IDK but that is what Rec. is about not winning every game.

Completley agree quincy. To know that you helped some kids progress so far and help them gain confidence in themselves and learn about something they liked and to see them have fun doing it. Yeah, that beats the socks off of helping an already ridulously talented girl be that much more dominant.

 

[softballphreak]

Sounds like you were being very fair to me as far as playing time. Good job!!

As far as chasing after the family who quit, I would move on. Accept that they have quit and if they call don't rush at them with open arms. There is much to be learned from this by the rest of the team. Some lessons are much more important than winning.

Be fair and don't sacrifice your principles!