Anyone ever face this quandry?

[DrRiello]

Even if the DD is only in the 8th grade and has only 3 practices with this new coach? I don't see her as being equipped to handle it correctly given the combination of her maturity level and the newness of the player/coach relationship. I might feel different if she had played for this coach for a while and felt comfortable in approaching a touchy subject like this where basically, you are telling the coach that she screwed up! LOL. Telling an adult authority figure that they screwed up is not an easy task for a lot of young girls. As we all know, these girls mature at different rates. What one 8th grader can handle socially, another may be like a duck out of water trying to handle, so a one size fits all approach is not applicable IMO.

Yes telling a coach they screwed up either as an adult or a child is not recommended. . However, as a parent it is our responsibility to coach our kids through life and help them in these situations. Coach them on what to say and how to say it so when they are faced with this same situation in the future they are more apt to handle on their own.
As I’ve already stated ask the coach what should she do if she feels pain , soreness or gets tired . See what the response is. If the coach is any good she will give her the correct answer. If not, then the parent should intervene or not play for that coach.
Every time my DD complained to me last year 12u about the coach or anything to do with the coach I guided her through that process. The idea being to help her grow as a young adult in an uncomfortable position. Not to mention gain some respect from that coach. Again JMHO.


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[chinamigarden]

Even if the DD is only in the 8th grade and has only 3 practices with this new coach? I don't see her as being equipped to handle it correctly given the combination of her maturity level and the newness of the player/coach relationship. I might feel different if she had played for this coach for a while and felt comfortable in approaching a touchy subject like this where basically, you are telling the coach that she screwed up! LOL. Telling an adult authority figure that they screwed up is not an easy task for a lot of young girls. As we all know, these girls mature at different rates. What one 8th grader can handle socially, another may be like a duck out of water trying to handle, so a one size fits all approach is not applicable IMO.

granted every situation is
Different. But this is Something I wanted my kids to do when they were younger then 8th grade. If they had an issue with playing time when they were 8 I would explain to them what to say to the coach. It was up to them. I think by 13 years old they can go to the coach and say “at practice if I pitch to
All the other players for that long I get tired and sore.” “ I’d rather not have that happen What can we do in the Future”.?

 

[texasheat]

We must have different definitions of what "BP" is.....
BP is BATTING PRACTICE.... not pitch calling or game scenarios
Here is another example of a BIG NAME org with less than average coaches

I played in college and we called it BP anytime hitters were hitting because, they are PRACTICING BATTING, aren't they? Thanks for the input but not sure where you helped me with the discussion with the coach. lol....... Man these threads go in 10 different directions than the original intent. We are now discussing the semantics of BP, the level of coaching at the highest levels of travel ball and also parenting skills. Thanks to everyone for the input. Good times!

 

[DrRiello]

In an effort to make sure I was mobi g on the correct direction and not speaking out of turn I wanted my DD input. You know, maybe I’m clueless in all honesty. What would she want?
So I read the thread to her and asked her opinion. She is now 13 and playing 14u. She said the girl should have asked for a break.
I can understand maybe your DD isn’t mature enough to do that or to say anything. However, I think mine said that mostly because it’s the way I have taught her. Right or wrong it’s just how I believe and of course I’m not trying to make anyone wrong here.
This is a community of moms and dads trying to do the best for their kids.
I hope it works out. My feeling is the coach didn’t realize the pitch count or time because she is new. But should be addressed by someone. Good luck for sure.


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[Chris8]

In an effort to make sure I was mobi g on the correct direction and not speaking out of turn I wanted my DD input. You know, maybe I’m clueless in all honesty. What would she want?
So I read the thread to her and asked her opinion. She is now 13 and playing 14u. She said the girl should have asked for a break.
I can understand maybe your DD isn’t mature enough to do that or to say anything. However, I think mine said that mostly because it’s the way I have taught her. Right or wrong it’s just how I believe and of course I’m not trying to make anyone wrong here.
This is a community of moms and dads trying to do the best for their kids.
I hope it works out. My feeling is the coach didn’t realize the pitch count or time because she is new. But should be addressed by someone. Good luck for sure.


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can be accomplished as easily as asking for a water break. It pauses things, provides a natural way to approach the coach during the break as well. In our state you MUST let kids take a water break if they ask. It gets back to the AD that the coach didn't and all heck breaks loose. We've counseled our kids that if the coach is ever going off the rails ask for a water break. Gives the coach a moment to cool down as well.....I've seen it work. It's a strategy
y that a player should have in their tool box and one that isn't confrontational.

 

[texasheat]

can be accomplished as easily as asking for a water break. It pauses things, provides a natural way to approach the coach during the break as well. In our state you MUST let kids take a water break if they ask. It gets back to the AD that the coach didn't and all heck breaks loose. We've counseled our kids that if the coach is ever going off the rails ask for a water break. Gives the coach a moment to cool down as well.....I've seen it work. It's a strategy
y that a player should have in their tool box and one that isn't confrontational.

This is 14u travel ball, not HS. so there is no AD involved nor any statewide rules/regulations but I think it still applies. No coach is going to say no to a pitcher that wants a water break. The issue is getting my DD to ask for one. She will throw until her arm falls off and never complain a bit in order to please a coach. Just the way she is. That's why I feel the need to talk to the coach. That's the only way it gets done IMO.

 

[texasheat]

In an effort to make sure I was mobi g on the correct direction and not speaking out of turn I wanted my DD input. You know, maybe I’m clueless in all honesty. What would she want?
So I read the thread to her and asked her opinion. She is now 13 and playing 14u. She said the girl should have asked for a break.
I can understand maybe your DD isn’t mature enough to do that or to say anything. However, I think mine said that mostly because it’s the way I have taught her. Right or wrong it’s just how I believe and of course I’m not trying to make anyone wrong here.
This is a community of moms and dads trying to do the best for their kids.
I hope it works out. My feeling is the coach didn’t realize the pitch count or time because she is new. But should be addressed by someone. Good luck for sure.


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Thanks for the advice on who should say it. Again. lol...........

Now do you have any advice on how I should approach the conversation with the coach and some good ways to convey the message that 1 hour and 20 minutes of live pitching/BP is too much? Thanks.

 

[coach james]

I played in college and we called it BP anytime hitters were hitting because, they are PRACTICING BATTING, aren't they? Thanks for the input but not sure where you helped me with the discussion with the coach. lol....... Man these threads go in 10 different directions than the original intent. We are now discussing the semantics of BP, the level of coaching at the highest levels of travel ball and also parenting skills. Thanks to everyone for the input. Good times!

Your original post sure seemed to be implying this was a school team.... not a "big name" org. Did you really want help or were you just venting about the meat headed coaches?
You're her dad, You shouldn't need the random opinions of strangers on this forum to tell you its ok to protect your kid.

 

[texasheat]

Your original post sure seemed to be implying this was a school team.... not a "big name" org. Did you really want help or were you just venting about the meat headed coaches?
You're her dad, You shouldn't need the random opinions of strangers on this forum to tell you its ok to protect your kid.

my post said "I need to talk to the coach about this to make sure that it never happens again" so obviously not looking for you to tell me it's ok. And who cares what kind of team it is? I do appreciate you picking apart my post for semantics though. Helped out a bunch!

 

[CanOfCorn]

Looking at your situation I see this as the third practice it could be an oversight by the coach. I personally would not get involved unless I thought there was a pattern. I think it would help your daughter long term to start advocating for herself regardless if she wants to or not. Maybe she isn’t ready in your eyes but she is going to high school so time to learn, four years goes by fast. She needs to learn to speak up and to communicate and as her parent you are the perfect guide.

She could just show up to next practice and mention her arm was sore from throwing without a break for so long. You can coach her up on the way and cover some possible responses. You can even go with her but let her do the talking. Cover situations such as if the coach says “you pitch all game” because we both know they only pitch half, the opponent pitches the other half so she gets a break.

Also talk to her about taking responsibility for her body. Taking care of her arm is no different than any other part of her body.

You can always say something after but if you are trying to raise a confidence young lady give her the opportunity to try first. This stuff is practiced just like softball.

Just my $0.02


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