Another Coach Accused Of Improper Conduct.

[625ender]

He admitted that he kissed players "in a fatherly way" and that he's telling vagina jokes. Not enough to throw the guy in jail, but no matter how he explains these things, they clearly demonstrate HORRIBLE judgment. .

She said Bachkora ran up to her to see if she was OK. Because she wasn’t saying anything, the coach thought she might have been seriously injured.

“He kept asking me, ‘Are you OK? Are you OK? Where did it hit you?’” said Willis. “Then I just blurted out, ‘It hit me in the vagina, Coach. It hit me right there in the vagina.’”

She said the whole team laughed, and that’s when Bachkora made the joke included in the allegations.

“I never felt I was harassed,” said Willis. “If anything, that was a moment when I knew the coach cared about me. It was not a sexual thing at all. The word ‘vagina’ itself is not a sexual thing.”

The second claim is that Bachkora would kiss players on the forehead and cheek.

In his meeting with Thompson, Bachkora admitted to doing so in a “fatherly, nonsexual manner.”

According to the Title IX report, Bachkora “recalled a specific incident where he kissed a player on her forehead. Bachkora stated that the player was leaving the university and that he kissed her forehead as he was saying goodbye to her.”

Thompson’s report does not mention any other instances of Bachkora kissing players.

WELL THERE'S THAT FROM THE PARTIES INVOLVES WHO WERE THERE WHEN YOUR ALLEGATIONS HAPPENED. NOW SPEND A LITTLE OF THAT OUTRAGE ENERGY TRYING TO HELP THE GAMECOCKS BEAT A RANKED TEAM

 

[GoGamecocks]

Quit whining and using bold fonts to prove your point. You're confusing a coach player personal relationship to jokes. Clearly you've never played any athletics beyond 10u. Adults cuss, trash talk, joke about mother's, races, sexual orientation. . . . It all happens

I guess the question is who gets to decide where the joke starts and ends. If I think its funny to use the "n-word" to talk about that dark skinned player, is it okay to say its just trash talk? I've played competitive sports my entire life, and I've talked plenty of trash, but it never occurred to me to talk about race, sexual orientation. Maybe you did and did it without malice, but I still implore you to consider what you're doing. It isn't okay. If you got called "dyke" in school, that doesn't make it funny or acceptable. Bad shirt that happened to you doesn't give you the right to ignore the same bad shirt that's happening today.

"It all happens" doesn't make it right. I would never ever allow my daughter to say such things, and I'd like to think that I've been a good enough father to teach her that it isn't okay to THINK such things.

 

[Gtrips07]

So a group of girls mad about being disciplined, concocted a story about a coach that never happened?

Sad to say there are too many stories like this anymore.

This is much different than the Auburn story.

Too often now there is a rush to judgement based on the less than complete picture. (See Jussie Smollett 'lynching.' See Duke Lacrosse, etc.)

Let's all be adults and not jump to conclusions. I know this is the internet but DFP should be above this. Acknowledge that if the facts are true then he deserves the full weight of the law, and if he did not, hold those who levied the fake allegations accountable to the fullest extent of the law.

As an aside if you want to talk about how Title IX is misused and stretch beyond what it was meant for, I'm all for that.



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[Comocoach]

So a group of girls mad about being disciplined, concocted a story about a coach that never happened?

Sad to say there are too many stories like this anymore.

This is much different than the Auburn story.

Too often now there is a rush to judgement based on the less than complete picture. (See Jussie Smollett 'lynching.' See Duke Lacrosse, etc.)

Let's all be adults and not jump to conclusions. I know this is the internet but DFP should be above this. Acknowledge that if the facts are true then he deserves the full weight of the law, and if he did not, hold those who levied the fake allegations accountable to the fullest extent of the law.

As an aside if you want to talk about how Title IX is misused and stretch beyond what it was meant for, I'm all for that.



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"So a group of girls mad about being disciplined, concocted a story about a coach that never happened?"

You start your post with this statement, and then add these two.

"Too often now there is a rush to judgement..."

"Let's all be adults and not jump to conclusions."

Seems a little hypocritical.

 

[7smom]

I read through this whole thread but admittedly did not read the whole article about this. There is nothing to say that both things aren't true... SA's could have been disciplined for team violations AND the coach could have been entering the locker room making them feel uncomfortable. The SA's could have then decided to report. It makes it muddy, but it doesn't make the coaches actions any less wrong.

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[625ender]

I guess the question is who gets to decide where the joke starts and ends. If I think its funny to use the "n-word" to talk about that dark skinned player, is it okay to say its just trash talk? I've played competitive sports my entire life, and I've talked plenty of trash, but it never occurred to me to talk about race, sexual orientation. Maybe you did and did it without malice, but I still implore you to consider what you're doing. It isn't okay. If you got called "dyke" in school, that doesn't make it funny or acceptable. Bad shirt that happened to you doesn't give you the right to ignore the same bad shirt that's happening today.

"It all happens" doesn't make it right. I would never ever allow my daughter to say such things, and I'd like to think that I've been a good enough father to teach her that it isn't okay to THINK such things.

Have your daughter switch to chess. Don't wait until tomorrow do it today

 

[spleen1015]

Have your daughter switch to chess. Don't wait until tomorrow do it today

I'd be cool with your DD switching to chess and you go troll the discusschess.com forum instead of here.

 

[625ender]

I'd be cool with your DD switching to chess and you go troll the discusschess.com forum instead of here.

Oh burn!

If stating facts throughout this entire thread is considered trolling members should look at that as a good thing. Because there weren't a lot of facts posted. Just guessed and group outrage. Time will tell of course. Rushing to judgment is never a good idea politically or socially

The chess comment was simple. I was quoting a post we're someone felt like words were not appropriate to be using in athletics, well they're used every single day. I can also give you thousands of instances where terrible words, sexual innuendo, racial, gender, religious jokes are used among peers. If you have the pleasure of playing at a high level you will be on a team that is made up from every Walk of Life, race, religion, and socio-economic group. I've heard it all! Everything the boys say the girl say. Individual sports are best suited for those who can't handle a group think mentality. Sorry but it's just the facts as everything else I put in this illustrious chat room

 

[_MIA_]

The chess comment was simple. I was quoting a post we're someone felt like words were not appropriate to be using in athletics, well they're used every single day.

This is true, a "fact" as you state, but as the other poster was saying it doesn't make it right.

Let me tell a little story. I was a college freshmen baseball player. We went down south to play our first
games of the year (it was a University in the Northeast). Well the team was sitting in one of the hotel rooms on a day off (rainout) and the manager decided it would be "fun" if we all started
discussing our first sexual experiences. Everybody was having a blast except that I came from a fairly religious background and had yet to have one at that point. When it came to be my turn I said as
much and boy was I made fun of..it was very embarrassing so embarrassing that the rest of trip I was miserable. There were other things that this coach did which were similarly embarrassing e.g. forcing
us to dip as a sort of rite of passage..I threw up, nicknaming me Turret due to my (admittedly improper) outward emotional outbursts after failing at something, etc. I was a naive kid, could
be considered a bit "different", all I ever wanted to do at that point in my life was study and play ball..I didn't get my license till I was almost 19 and only because my younger sister got hers.
I was just fine riding my bike to the park and staying there all day in the summer. I didn't have the experiences of other kids on the team and the coach seemed to sense that and take advantage of it.

So, even though the next year I was the starting second baseman, the experiences I had with this manager/team, along with some other self-induced issues (exacerbated probably
by me feeling uncomfortable with the team/manager dynamic),
made going to practices and games so miserable for me that I ended up quitting 1/3 of the way through the year. I loved baseball, it was the focus of my life from the age of 7 years old till I got to college..all
I ever wanted to do was play and this guy was partially to blame for me not wanting anything to do with the game for almost 20 years after that.It was only after I had kids did I start
to remember how much I loved it...

I never said word about any of this to anybody..you didn't do that sort of thing 20+ years ago. As a matter of fact this might be the first time I have told this to anybody.

You can say I didn't have a thick enough skin or that my parents did a poor job of preparing me for such "real life" experiences and perhaps
you would be right..everybody else on the team seemed to be fine with it. That said, I was just a kid, 20 years old and the guy should have had some forethought about the possible ramifications
of his actions. The guy is still coaching (he was a good manager and still is) but if I had to guess he probably doesn't do this stuff anymore...at least I hope so.

 

[GoGamecocks]

You can say I didn't have a thick enough skin and perhaps
you would be right..everybody else on the team seemed to be fine with it, but I was just a kid, 20 years old and the guy should have had some forethought about the possible ramifications
of his actions. The guy is still coaching (he was a good manager and still is) but if I had to guess he probably doesn't do this stuff anymore...at least I hope so.

The one thing that seems apparent in this thread is that people are complicated. If you have a team of 15-20 players, you're likely to have a pretty diverse group - some who are sensitive to sexual innuendo and some who cuss like sailors and laugh everything off. The point I have been trying to repeatedly make is that it just doesn't make sense to dismiss a player's or a parent's concerns simply because it doesn't bother YOU. Your experience shows that good coaches can make bad decisions that drive good kids away from the game.

Have your daughter switch to chess. Don't wait until tomorrow do it today

I'm truly baffled that this would be your reply to the portion of my post that you quoted. Are you really this mean-spirited, or are you trying to be funny? Feel free to to try to convince me that vulgar dugout humor should be tolerated as a part of the game, but insulting me makes you look petty and small-minded.

I'd be cool with your DD switching to chess and you go troll the discusschess.com forum instead of here.

If you think that I'm trolling this forum because I strongly disagree with some of the posts here, then you aren't really paying attention. I'm horrified by the story of the KMoKC coach, and no matter what you think about the underlying story, you have to agree that, at the very least, very bad decision were made.

I can also give you thousands of instances where terrible words, sexual innuendo, racial, gender, religious jokes are used among peers. If you have the pleasure of playing at a high level you will be on a team that is made up from every Walk of Life, race, religion, and socio-economic group. I've heard it all! Everything the boys say the girl say. Individual sports are best suited for those who can't handle a group think mentality. Sorry but it's just the facts as everything else I put in this illustrious chat room

The point I've been trying to make is that terrible words, sexual innuendo, racial slurs and religious jokes should not be considered a part of the game. These things don't bring the team together. They are by their very nature divisive and should be discouraged at every turn. Just because you've seen them in your experience does not make them a part of every team. I've got a buddy who is on his fifth year playing in the NFL, and he tells me that the team looks more like a corporation than it does an out-of-control boy's club. In 2019, the highest level of the every sport has figured out that inclusion is the way to go.

Ask yourself this - would your team experiences have been better if you were able to subtract out the slurs, innuendo, and off-color jokes? For you, the answer might be "no" and that's fine. But for a lot of kids, the answer is "yes."