Another Coach Accused Of Improper Conduct.

[_MIA_]

The one thing that seems apparent in this thread is that people are complicated. If you have a team of 15-20 players, you're likely to have a pretty diverse group - some who are sensitive to sexual innuendo and some who cuss like sailors and laugh everything off. The point I have been trying to repeatedly make is that it just doesn't make sense to dismiss a player's or a parent's concerns simply because it doesn't bother YOU. Your experience shows that good coaches can make bad decisions that drive good kids away from the game.

I had no problem cussing..still don't
I use this to justify it:
https://www.sciencealert.com/swearing-is-a-sign-of-more-intelligence-not-less-say-scientists

 

[spleen1015]

The one thing that seems apparent in this thread is that people are complicated. If you have a team of 15-20 players, you're likely to have a pretty diverse group - some who are sensitive to sexual innuendo and some who cuss like sailors and laugh everything off. The point I have been trying to repeatedly make is that it just doesn't make sense to dismiss a player's or a parent's concerns simply because it doesn't bother YOU. Your experience shows that good coaches can make bad decisions that drive good kids away from the game.



I'm truly baffled that this would be your reply to the portion of my post that you quoted. Are you really this mean-spirited, or are you trying to be funny? Feel free to to try to convince me that vulgar dugout humor should be tolerated as a part of the game, but insulting me makes you look petty and small-minded.



If you think that I'm trolling this forum because I strongly disagree with some of the posts here, then you aren't really paying attention. I'm horrified by the story of the KMoKC coach, and no matter what you think about the underlying story, you have to agree that, at the very least, very bad decision were made.



The point I've been trying to make is that terrible words, sexual innuendo, racial slurs and religious jokes should not be considered a part of the game. These things don't bring the team together. They are by their very nature divisive and should be discouraged at every turn. Just because you've seen them in your experience does not make them a part of every team. I've got a buddy who is on his fifth year playing in the NFL, and he tells me that the team looks more like a corporation than it does an out-of-control boy's club. In 2019, the highest level of the every sport has figured out that inclusion is the way to go.

Ask yourself this - would your team experiences have been better if you were able to subtract out the slurs, innuendo, and off-color jokes? For you, the answer might be "no" and that's fine. But for a lot of kids, the answer is "yes."

Take a look at the post I quoted. I was talking to the dude who told you your daughter should switch to chess. I don't think you're trolling at all.

 

[GoGamecocks]

Take a look at the post I quoted. I was talking to the dude who told you your daughter should switch to chess. I don't think you're trolling at all.

Ha! I thought I was getting ganged up on. Thanks for clarifying.

 

[Westwind]

1) Larry Nasser was a doctor, not a coach. Based on you bringing Nasser up are we to no longer see doctors the opposite gender of the patient?


2) So what about Lesbian coaches, shouldn't lesbian coaches be banned from the locker rooms of female athletes as well? What if the male coach is a gay, should gay male coaches be approved of going in to female locker rooms but banned from male locker rooms.


3) When I played football in college there were female trainers in the locker room all the time.


Let's meter the faux outrage and wait and see what is going on here before we lynch this dude.

5) For all we know he'd run through the shower, smacking the ladies on their butts and pouring soap on them while screaming "This is MAGA Country" and "Empire Sucks"

I added numbers for clarity.

1) My point was that Nassar was a systematic habitual abuser. His title doesn’t matter- his position is how he got access to victims. He abused hundreds of athletes and got away with it for years. It probably started many years ago with minor offenses and when he got away with the “little stuff” it probably turned into big stuff. That’s why we have to find out if this really happened. If we aren’t all looking out for abusers, shame on us. As far as the doctor thing, doctors of the opposite sex have always had a nurse in the room when they do sensitive physical exams. Pretty much everyone in my family has a doctor of the opposite sex at one time or another, nbd.

2) I’ll ask my daughter, a D1 college player, how her lesbian head and assistant coach handled this. I never heard of any issues whatsoever with this and seriously doubt that there was any weirdness whatsoever. I have so few concerns about this that I truly never thought about it until I read your post. As far as the “but what about” stuff you bring up, I got nothing.

3) DD had mostly female trainers but at least one was male. They had a training room for this purpose. If he or she ever just popped in to warm up a hot pocket or hand out popsicles I’m not aware of it.

4) If this coach was really doing this, there isn’t anything faux about my outrage.

5) Smolette or whatever that morons name is wasn’t fooling anyone here in Illinois with that goofy claim. Not the red voters, not the blue voters. There were way too many things wrong with the story. But it was necessary to take it serious, it was necessary to investigate it and it was necessary to find out the truth. The same will happen with this story. If it’s a hoax, the offenders should be absolutely lit up by the justice system. False claims are not cool.

Sorry if I was unnecessarily shrill in my earlier post. I’ve just had too many opportunities to see bad stuff up close and personal in my former professional life. And too often, the offenders started incrementally. Little things. Little warning signs. Things that victims and their loved ones should have paid attention to.

 

[OsDad]

... I could totally care less.

That's the most accurate thing you've said about this situation, to date.

... I do believe in innocent until proven guilty I also believe that is very easy for someone who is upset or disgruntled to point a finger and shout allegations. It happens all the time.

He admitted going into the locker room multiple times. He did it. He isn't innocent. His motives aren't even important anymore.

I would be happy to wait for you to produce some evidence that male coaches/authority figures are falsely accused of sexual assault/harassment and face consequences for it "all the time".

Reported facts well that's just a joke. Everyday reported facts are debunked

WELL THERE'S THAT FROM THE PARTIES INVOLVES WHO WERE THERE WHEN YOUR ALLEGATIONS HAPPENED.

The irony of this isn't lost on you, I hope?

... without coming into this chat room and throwing poo. That's not my style that's how children play

You mean like making comments about kids switching to chess and "TRYING TO HELP THE GAMECOCKS BEAT A RANKED TEAM"?



The biggest problem with your take on all of this, is your insistence that just because a culture in team sports has existed for years, that it should remain unchallenged. Sports (especially team sports, because while a "herd" dynamic protects against outside threats, it can make it susceptible to internal threats) provide a target-rich environment that can be attractive to predatory and sociopathic personalities. Protecting the aspects of that culture that present a danger, or that can hide danger (MSU, Paterno, etc), in the name of "the good ol' days" shouldn't be acceptable to ANY of us. I don't give a s*** if 99% of the team has no problem with a coach's behavior, if the behavior is inappropriate. I don't care if they are 8 or 18, if there is a power dynamic like you have in sports between coaches and players, they don't "know better". My daughter would defend my decision to let her eat ice cream for breakfast until her dying breath, but that doesn't make my position defensible.

 

[GoGamecocks]

The Kansas City Star posted the report sent by school's Title IX coordinator to the Vice Chancellor, and which has been selectively quoted from by 625ender here. It is a quick read (PDF warning): https://media.kansascity.com/livegraphics/2019/pdf/181212-Memo-GregBachkoraReport_Redacted.pdf

To me this reads like a white-wash. The Title IX coordinator didn't do a formal investigation because Bachkora "admitted that he had engaged in the alleged conduct" and it was determined that "the University was able to address the conduct through swift, remedial action." That remedial action appears to have been telling Bachkora not to go into the locker room, to use better judgment, and to "maintain better boundaries with his players."

The reporting from the Kansas City Star, however, suggested that the coach made a habit of this, and he frequently caught players in various stages of undress. One player was quoted as saying the coach "has seen me naked more than my boyfriend has."

The University's independent student newspaper ran an article on Monday, also quoted heavily by 625ender here, which is filled with current players' suggestions that the sexual harassment allegations were ginned up by a group of players who were disciplined and kicked out of school. You can read that here: https://info.umkc.edu/unews/softball-players-challenge-allegations-of-sexual-harassment-leveled-against-assistant-coach/. This reporting includes players suggesting that Bachkora could not enter the locker room unannounced, and that the "naked more than my boyfriend" quote was second-hand and taken out of context. Interestingly, the coach is currently out on leave - right as the softball season is gearing up.

All of this points to sloppiness on the school's part. If Bachkora's conduct has been exaggerated and overblown, the school's decision to sweep it under the rug has resulted in the coach getting hammered by the press. Of course if there was substance to the allegations of Bachkora repeatedly entering the locker room that resulted in players diving behind furniture, an investigation would have flushed that out.

However you feel about this, the university screwed the pooch here. They Title IX folks compounded the problem with the FERPA violation.

 

[_MIA_]

t.

However you feel about this, the university screwed the pooch here. They Title IX folks compounded the problem with the FERPA violation.

I am going to give you a little insider information..For the most part University administrator's are at best, idiots, and at worse spineless idiots. They typically get to the positions
they hold by making sure the status quo is upheld and that they don't do anything to anger the people above them so that when a job they want opens, the people who
are making the hiring decisions like them..

 

[GoGamecocks]

I am going to give you a little insider information..For the most part University administrator's are at best, idiots, and at worse spineless idiots. They typically get to the positions
they hold by making sure the status quo is upheld and that they don't do anything to anger the people above them so that when a job they want opens, the people who
are making the hiring decisions like them..

so basically government employees then...

 

[_MIA_]

so basically government employees then...

I know nothing about that so I cannot say one way or the other. Again, not all administrators, and the culture really starts at the top. If the President of the University
is somebody who wants yes men/women working for him/her than that will typically be the culture of the University administration as it has a trickle down
effect.

 

[CoachJD]

I added numbers for clarity.

1) My point was that Nassar was a systematic habitual abuser. His title doesn’t matter- his position is how he got access to victims. He abused hundreds of athletes and got away with it for years. It probably started many years ago with minor offenses and when he got away with the “little stuff” it probably turned into big stuff. That’s why we have to find out if this really happened. If we aren’t all looking out for abusers, shame on us. As far as the doctor thing, doctors of the opposite sex have always had a nurse in the room when they do sensitive physical exams. Pretty much everyone in my family has a doctor of the opposite sex at one time or another, nbd.

2) I’ll ask my daughter, a D1 college player, how her lesbian head and assistant coach handled this. I never heard of any issues whatsoever with this and seriously doubt that there was any weirdness whatsoever. I have so few concerns about this that I truly never thought about it until I read your post. As far as the “but what about” stuff you bring up, I got nothing.

3) DD had mostly female trainers but at least one was male. They had a training room for this purpose. If he or she ever just popped in to warm up a hot pocket or hand out popsicles I’m not aware of it.

4) If this coach was really doing this, there isn’t anything faux about my outrage.

5) Smolette or whatever that morons name is wasn’t fooling anyone here in Illinois with that goofy claim. Not the red voters, not the blue voters. There were way too many things wrong with the story. But it was necessary to take it serious, it was necessary to investigate it and it was necessary to find out the truth. The same will happen with this story. If it’s a hoax, the offenders should be absolutely lit up by the justice system. False claims are not cool.

Sorry if I was unnecessarily shrill in my earlier post. I’ve just had too many opportunities to see bad stuff up close and personal in my former professional life. And too often, the offenders started incrementally. Little things. Little warning signs. Things that victims and their loved ones should have paid attention to.

Westwind, I agree with every single word of this. See, we're not so different after all.