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[SCDad]

SCD - I'm behind you on all of this. Good post. That's not crossing any lines that I see. The tipping point is whether parents are doing favors strictly for the purpose of getting paid back. Is there an ulterior motive? I see a lot more of that in high school football in the South. Booster buys the team some expensive equipment. Here's a softball example - Got a friend who has hired the high school coach to be his middle school daughter's hitting coach, and he's become close to the coach. That's fine, but did that happen naturally, or is it an attempt to make it very hard for that high school coach to keep his daughter off the varsity? I don't believe in playing that game.

I was not always this way. Back in early 12U I was way too intense, and personally hurt my DD's chances. Once I realized I was at fault, my behavior completely changed.

I can understand completely what these younger posters are going through. I was just like it.

One coach became an enemy early. My DD was shorted. I changed, and this coach has now been one of the most instrumental in developing her play, and coaches her today.

So parents ... people can and do change. I was awful, and now am one of the better parents. You see that change in about every parent from 12U where arguments are more common. To 16U or 18U where most everyone is civil to each other. Treating the game as it should be, a spectator sport, and watching the DD's compete under the sole guidance and development of the coaches.

 

[James Smith]

I admit I have a poor sense of humor, just ask my DW.

DD wasn’t feeling well before her last game so DW gave some of the “good stuff”. DD’s school nurse said she could not attend school if she took it, we sorted that out but this is good stuff.

DD was a little loopy and made a couple errors, good news is she didn’t care when the coach yelled at her.

I stick with my original response and wish you good luck!

 

[BadMonkeys]

Facts: Timeline is true to what stated. We tried out in May. June-tournaments cancelled supposedly for one reason or another (not sure if the tournament didn't make, or if coach pulled the team, never got a straight answer). July, out of town for 1 week due to church camp & missed the only tournament they attended that month. Others were again cancelled again for the same reasons as June. August: Tournaments again cancelled for above reasons. September: 1 tournament a few weeks ago, this past weekend cancelled because "too many girls had homecoming". Yes, he has already cut some players this season. Says he will be cutting more as soon as he can find replacements. Is also considering holding another tryout in the next few weeks, January/February, or April.....he has discussed all 3.

Hence my question: Would you be looking for another team mid-season?

Short answer, yes.

 

[JJsqueeze]

I admit I have a poor sense of humor, just ask my DW.

DD wasn’t feeling well before her last game so DW gave some of the “good stuff”. DD’s school nurse said she could not attend school if she took it, we sorted that out but this is good stuff.

DD was a little loopy and made a couple errors, good news is she didn’t care when the coach yelled at her.

I stick with my original response and wish you good luck!

"good stuff"? a glass of Lafite '98? Something that is legal in Colorado? do tell...

 

[James Smith]

Her Neurologist said in case of an emergency use this pill! I guess DW thought the SB game was an emergency.

 

[Sweet Lou]

This is going to be a bit long so that I make sure to include all relevant details, but could really use some outside opinions.

I think most of this has been touched on but I'll hit on a few things.

1. Break up long posts into some paragraphs will make it much easier to read and respond to.
2. A coach should never promise a girl that a position is hers. He can tell a girl, going in your my #1 ___, but you'll need to work to keep it.
3. I don't know if your DD is getting a raw deal at SS but there could be things about her game beyond errors that coach doesn't like at SS. Not saying it is one of these but could be: range, arm strength, covering her responsibilities, etc.
4. The AC sounds out of line with his comments, they should be addressed.
5. You sound borderline on whether or not you are "that parent".

 

[lstorie1971]

My thought is that at 16, it's time for mom and dad to ease back a bit and let the child start to be more proactive for their futures. If your daughter isn't happy with her situation, she's old enough to have an adult conversation with the coach. If she isn't verbally skilled enough to do so, teach her how to talk to adults about adult issues. If you fight the battles for her at this point, an adult could get the impression that she's spoiled and draw a negative conclusion.

As far as leaving, once the coach says she's on the block, he's given you permission to look elsewhere IMO.

 

[Pdiddy]

I am just thankful that the Gastapo hasn't locked out this tread for whatever "butterflys and strawberry fields" reason that always seems to be cited....it's a good thing no one mentioned a softball team getting t-shirts with a picture of the state of Oklahoma on it....that will get you a good ole fashioned "if you don't like it.....leave" from the man.... and BTW, flaming a first time poster isn't very nice, but makes for much more interesting reading....

 

[MsDinosaur]

I've got to admit, I didn't see what was non-softball related about a post on Oklahoma tee shirts that a softball team received in their gift bags. Maybe there was something offensive in there that was edited out before I read the thread?

It is sad that someone working in a school can't recognize the shape of one of the U.S. states when they see it. It reminds me of the story I heard from the Atlanta Olympics when a man from Santa Fe, New Mexico tried to buy tickets. They told him that they were only selling to people from the United States and he would have to contact his own country! Good grief.

 

[Jr10234]

Momx4- you and your DD, since its your $$, need to have an open and honest conversation with the coaching staff. Their either want your DD on the team, plan to develop her, give her time on the field both Sat/Sun, and trust her to contribute, or they don't.

I say this because my DD did have a coach out to get her...until other coaches got wind of his behavior and stepped in. She spent the season doubting herself but was a great teammate and worked hard on her own, but you deserve to know up front if anyone of the coaches doesn't want her on the team and go into the season with eyes wide open.

In my opinion, the assistant coach may have overstepped his responsibility by telling a player she was on the chopping block, unless he is in charge of personnel or the line up, but usually the head coach makes the final call.

Get an evaluation through a local place, or put up some video of her hitting/fielding and work hard to improve and earn her position. If her goal is to play in a positive environment, you might decide finding a different team is the best option.

When they took your DD they also committed to developing her as a player, if they aren't do you really want her there?