Grabbing player's mask, ok or not?

[starsnuffer]

It's not ok that my daughter was suspended for wearing a Wounded Warrior Project shirt to school (it has a logo that includes a rifle, OMG danger! Cry in a corner and ban cheeseburgers too!)

While I will continue to fight that fight, and continue to hold my ground on that subject, that does not mean that I think it is in my daughters best interest to miss more school over a stupid shirt. By the same token, since a coach asked here "is it okay to grab a facemask" and the answer is "not unless you want to loose your job" still continues to be a valid and correct answer.

The morality or ethics around the question are nonwithstanding. Right or wrong, do it at your peril. If your convictions tell you that fighting for the right to grab a players helmet is a priority for you, then more power to you. Fighting that fight can now be done outside the shadow of ignorance.

-W

 

[JDBerry]

I'm not saying that you are not a good coach. I am saying that the endorsement of parents does not make a person a good coach. Kim Jong-un has the endorsement of North Korea.



I didn't say that coaches don't intend to intimidate. I said that ''most'' coaches don't intend to ''harm'' their players. The intention of ''most'' coaches is to benefit their players, even if these coaches are misguided.

One final thing - I said that adults don't have a right to be grabbing the face masks of kids. If you somehow have their permission, if they are accustomed to it and clearly don't have a problem with it, then fine. I agree w/ you about context.

But as a fundamental right, I stand by my statement - Coaches don't have a right to use force to make kids look at them. Are there some contexts in which this might be appropriate? Probably.

But if I were wearing a facemask, I would not want people grabbing it. I extend the same respect and courtesy to children.

You know what? I am a very, very simple man. I am only as good as those parents say I am. Nothing more, nothing less. It's those parents, and by extension, those kids to whom I am beholden to. I might not be as hard as another coach, I might not make all the right decisions like another coach, but if we are going to say good/bad my, my job is to be sure they enjoy the game, still learn something and not come away with something negative because of me (there a lot more filler, but that's the gist).

I don't have their "permission". I'm not doing something extraordinary and I'm not using it as some form of invasion. It's no different than telling them to look at me when I'm talking or to hush while I'm talking.

I had to help coach a HS team last year... I'm quite sure I did the same thing some, although I'm sure not as often.

I just don't get this "hands off" idea. Now, I get it to some degree, of course. But, the extreme, don't ever grab, will stop the game if you touch my daughter's mask, etc stuff is over the top to me.

But, not to derail and I haven't started this rant yet, I also completely do not get this whole daddy's daughter (DD) junk either. I've coached soccer and basketball in addition to softball and this is the weirdest sport as far as this sort of... whatever this is, is.

 

[JDBerry]

It's not ok that my daughter was suspended for wearing a Wounded Warrior Project shirt to school (it has a logo that includes a rifle, OMG danger! Cry in a corner and ban cheeseburgers too!)

While I will continue to fight that fight, and continue to hold my ground on that subject, that does not mean that I think it is in my daughters best interest to miss more school over a stupid shirt. By the same token, since a coach asked here "is it okay to grab a facemask" and the answer is "not unless you want to loose your job" still continues to be a valid and correct answer.

The morality or ethics around the question are nonwithstanding. Right or wrong, do it at your peril. If your convictions tell you that fighting for the right to grab a players helmet is a priority for you, then more power to you. Fighting that fight can now be done outside the shadow of ignorance.

-W

I with you. From a discussion standpoint, acceptance/disagreement is one thing... in practice it's all-together different. Things are never the way I or anyone feels they should be and rights will always be seen as a wrong in all settings.

The gun analogy is a good one though. We have a right to keep and bear arms that can not be infringed, but society has drifted to the point that we find it acceptable to even be scared of an image of a gun and to then punish for that image.

 

[chinamigarden]

Intent and the words spoken would make a difference to me. If it was grabbed to create focus, and to add gravity to the words, that would mean one thing. If it was grabbed to intimidate that would mean something else to me. I guess the difference would be the words ad the tone. "do you understand what you did wrong? I want you to pay attention to the signs and follow them" To me that is a lot different then grabbing the mask and saying "you will never disobey my signs again"

One is coaching or instruction the other is a veiled threat.

 

[11smom]

This is an interesting discussion. Coaches have a tough job which entails getting the most out of their players on the field. Each girl has a different personality, and what works best for one, may not be what works for another. My DDs team has, for the most part been together for 3 or more years, and it is truly a family environment. Coach knows how to interact with each according to their personalities. Does he treat them all the same? No. I think the girls would all agree that they are treated fairly. There are times to be hard on players in the course of correction, just as there are times to give praise. I guess it comes down to your comfort level as a parent as to what you find acceptable from teachers/coaches. There are a few coaches that we have observed constantly yelling at their players that we would not let our DD play for. Its just our opinion that cussing out 13 year olds is not what we are here for. Yet some parents are fine with it. Coaches need to balance their emotional responses in coaching as "eyes" are always watching and judging. As things like grabbing a facemask can be perceived in various ways, I would think it best not to do it.

 

[chinamigarden]

You know what? I am a very, very simple man. I am only as good as those parents say I am. Nothing more, nothing less. It's those parents, and by extension, those kids to whom I am beholden to. I might not be as hard as another coach, I might not make all the right decisions like another coach, but if we are going to say good/bad my, my job is to be sure they enjoy the game, still learn something and not come away with something negative because of me (there a lot more filler, but that's the gist).

I don't have their "permission". I'm not doing something extraordinary and I'm not using it as some form of invasion. It's no different than telling them to look at me when I'm talking or to hush while I'm talking.

I had to help coach a HS team last year... I'm quite sure I did the same thing some, although I'm sure not as often.

I just don't get this "hands off" idea. Now, I get it to some degree, of course. But, the extreme, don't ever grab, will stop the game if you touch my daughter's mask, etc stuff is over the top to me.

But, not to derail and I haven't started this rant yet, I also completely do not get this whole daddy's daughter (DD) junk either. I've coached soccer and basketball in addition to softball and this is the weirdest sport as far as this sort of... whatever this is, is.

DD stands for dear daughter and its not a softball thing it's an Internet thing. Long before I came here I would see DW and DH on forums.

 

[straightleg]

You tell me what's wrong with it.

There seems to be a lot of personal projection here on this issue Making something more out of it than it is. I can promise you wouldn't have a single one of my parents suggest that I have ever attempted to "scold" or "intimidate" any of my players. I've grabbed the catcher by the mask and gently shook her head when she made mistake and said "shake those cobwebs out". I've "popped" a facemask. I've popped a baserunner on the helmet when they made a mistake on pop fly, much like I would donk on the forehead. I've put my hand on top of their helmet and pointed their head. I've hooked my finger on a facemask so they are looking at me when they are crying and tell them that there is no crying allowed in softball. None of it was intimidating or even antagonizing. It was actually in good fun.

on a soapbox, and to be quite frank, this is one of the issues with bullying. too many helicopter parents look at everything all or nothing, black or white. If their kid is ribbed or picked on at all, then it's bullying. Same with this, the intent and harm has to be there. If it's not there, then it simply devalues the calls from those who truly are complaining about some coach truly bullying a player. Context, as with everything, is vitally important to decide if something is "right or wrong."

So as a parent you would have no problem if I walked up slapped you on top of the head and said good job coaching, just a small doink, just to make sure you were paying attention. No big deal right?



SL

 

[Rooster98]

So as a parent you would have no problem if I walked up slapped you on top of the head and said good job coaching, just a small doink, just to make sure you were paying attention. No big deal right?

SL

I would like it better if it were on my backside and a woman did it not a kid !!!!

 

[Amy in AZ.]

"Hands off," is not hard for me to understand or remember. As a former school teacher, it was a necessity. I have yet to have to stand in front of a girl or touch her, to get her attention. Some of us coach one way, some another. Read Pat Summitt's book, if you want a taste of the other. But her players were adults and went to play for her willingly.

Maybe we know why boys don't wear face masks, now. They don't want grabbed.

 

[GOINGDEEP]

That's awesome...I watched Memphis wrestling every Saturday morning as a kid. Humongous was a monster...he was probably having roid rage when he grabbed your mask LOL!

I remember once the team was "messing around" in the weight room. Coach Stark came in and was pissed, he picked up a bar off the squat rack, 4 45lb weights on each side ( 405 lbs ) and threw it across the room. I won't go into what he said, I'd prob get banned. But a man who is mad at that size, will almost make you pee your pants. Trust me, we all walked a fine line for weeks after that.

Times sure have changed. Couldn't do that now a days.