a coach that pushes, shoves, hits with a ball, doesn't intend to intimidate them?
No, he fully intended to intimidate them, but he thought he could motivate them through intimidation
Grabbing player's mask, ok or not?
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a coach that pushes, shoves, hits with a ball, doesn't intend to intimidate them?
No, he fully intended to intimidate them, but he thought he could motivate them through intimidation
- Jul 26, 2010
- 3,553
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Welcome to America. Mob rule isn't right rule. Decisions are made based on what is tolerable for the majority, not what is best, just, or most efficient.
For the record, one of the HS football coaches I've seen fired ran a very successful program for many years. The incident he was fired over was one where he grabbed a facemask to tell a player "great job!" as he was rushing off the field. It's stupid, ridiculous even, but that is the way it is. I'd hate to see a good coach fired because he can't find a better way to get his point across.
-W
It most certainly does. It's who I'm beholden to. It's who has entrusted me with their children.
I'm quite certain if the reverse were to be true, you would be the first to say that I was a "bad" coach if every parent were complaining.
I'm not saying that you are not a good coach. I am saying that the endorsement of parents does not make a person a good coach. Kim Jong-un has the endorsement of North Korea.
I didn't say that coaches don't intend to intimidate. I said that ''most'' coaches don't intend to ''harm'' their players. The intention of ''most'' coaches is to benefit their players, even if these coaches are misguided.
One final thing - I said that adults don't have a right to be grabbing the face masks of kids. If you somehow have their permission, if they are accustomed to it and clearly don't have a problem with it, then fine. I agree w/ you about context.
But as a fundamental right, I stand by my statement - Coaches don't have a right to use force to make kids look at them. Are there some contexts in which this might be appropriate? Probably.
But if I were wearing a facemask, I would not want people grabbing it. I extend the same respect and courtesy to children.
- Feb 3, 2011
- 1,880
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JDBerry, I don't want to color you or the parents of your players with any sort of disparaging commentary, but I think one of the elements you may be missing here is that things which were once acceptable in many places are now acceptable in fewer places. Correct me if I'm wrong in my interpretation, but what I'm hearing you say is that there's nothing wrong with this type of action and furthermore, that there is nothing wrong, even if it's considered unacceptable in some places.
Most people agree that the tone in which something is said impacts the meaning and the way it is perceived. In other words, a single statement can be both kind or unkind, depending on the way in which it's said. Do you, in general, agree with that?
I hold the belief that the way we touch one another matters in the exact same way. A pat on the helmet to say "Good job!" is not the same as grabbing a player's face mask to say anything at all.
You don't appreciate the difference and while that's certainly your right to feel that way, what you cannot deny is that acceptable behaviors change as societies progress.
Most people agree that the tone in which something is said impacts the meaning and the way it is perceived. In other words, a single statement can be both kind or unkind, depending on the way in which it's said. Do you, in general, agree with that?
I hold the belief that the way we touch one another matters in the exact same way. A pat on the helmet to say "Good job!" is not the same as grabbing a player's face mask to say anything at all.
You don't appreciate the difference and while that's certainly your right to feel that way, what you cannot deny is that acceptable behaviors change as societies progress.
As I said before, these things are hard to visualize since we didn't see the actual event. We have to go by someone else's interpretation of what happened, and that can vary on his/her beliefs and experience.
But I'll add this as some humor. When I hear "grabbing the mask" it brings back some HS memories. This is our HS football coach with the Jason mask on in the back. He wrestled in the early 80's in Memphis, Lord Humongous. For you older wrestling guys, that's Jimmy Hart and Humongous had a long rival with Jerry the king Lawler. He was about 6'6-7, 300+. When he grabbed your face guard you were lucky your head didn't come off in his hands.
So what I remember as a mask grab, and what happened here in the OP, could be very different.
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That's awesome...I watched Memphis wrestling every Saturday morning as a kid. Humongous was a monster...he was probably having roid rage when he grabbed your mask LOL!
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I don't think it's a good thing and I try not to raise my children that way. I think this is a big reason there is so much drama with so many TB teams. The concept of discipline seems to have been lost on a couple of generations.
It took me years to realize that you simply cannot coach girls the way you coach boys. There is no reason IMHO to ever hook my fingers into a player's mask and make them look at me while I'm talking. There are other more appropriate ways to improve or influence a player's behavior or skills.
I agree we unfortunately live in an "entitlement" society. It just means we have to work a little harder while doing the right thing.
I agree we unfortunately live in an "entitlement" society. It just means we have to work a little harder while doing the right thing.
You can't color me or the parents with disparaging commentary because there isn't any relative to this issue. To insinuate there would be, belies the issue.
You look down your nose at something that you "feel" is wrong. You accept something as a social more change that has no bearing, nor a value. Some here readily accept that a coach should be fired and could be sued for such. This is ridiculous commentary on our society, as a whole.
Condemnation and shame for actually doing something wrong no longer is acceptable. Now it's acceptable to condemn and shame for something that a few are uncomfortable with, that appears, not right, that's actually out of context. It's acceptable to condemn and shame something you don't understand. Which is simply bullying.
We no longer condemn and shame the actual bully. We give them excuses. We go after the "good guys" because of a sense of self-importance, narcissism and downright anti-social mores.
That's the societal change that you accept as behavior that's OK. These are aspects of the things that people are referring to when they talk of the helicopter parent generation. Just because social mores change, in no way does "change" always equal change for the better.
