Would you want your daughter playing for this coach?

[NJZoo]

We were at a tournament this weekend and our field was back to back with another one. While we were waiting for our game I started watching the game on the field next to us. Very competitive game, but what stood out was one of the coaches was literally cursing every other word in front of and at 12U girls. F bombs, BS, son of a bitch, you name it. He was losing his mind. I'm no prude, but I would never dream of talking like that in front of young girls.

Luckily, our girls were warming up about 50 yards away, but if they were standing there next to the field I would have asked the tournament director to issue a warning to the coach. It's one thing if the parents on his team don't care how he carries himself in front of their daughters, but that's not something that I want around my 12U daughter or our team.

 

[chinamigarden]

Probably wouldn’t like it. However the best coach my dd ever had. A guy who still years later will post on the Org Facebook page the accomplishments of girls who aged out of his program years ago. College graduations, new jobs, accomplishments in other sports, birthdays, engagements… he once had a terrible day and if you only saw him the one day you would think bad things.

The next week one day I brought a 12 pack of beer and a lawn chair, showed up at coaches house and we sat in his yard for however long it took to discuss that bad day and decide if his team was still a good fit. My dd played for him another 5 years and he proved that was a one time thing.

So I would need to see more then one snapshot in time to decide.

 

[PJR202]

My concern would be if he was directing his expletives at the players and/or umps. Otherwise, as long as it wasn't at a real young level (basically old enough to know better) and the CONTENT of his discussions wasn't inappropriate, I don't see a big deal. Kids are gonna hear it there or somewhere else. Mine are 14 and almost 16 and I've basically given up on music and TV/movies. It's more about the content and context of the usage vs the words themselves, and I've told them many times they can talk however they want when they're adults.

If it was a school coach that behavior wouldn't fly. Parents wield a lot of power in that environment. A local MS coach was removed from on-field duties after telling a parent to "sit your a$$ down."

 

[radness]

Cussing while it may offend some ears is not the worst thing.


My take away on this is...
Do the most research possible on the team going to decide to play on because some coaches may exhibit certain behaviors may or may not like. That is to say that coach still fielded a team.

 

[_MIA_]

A local MS coach was removed from on-field duties after telling a parent to "sit your a$$ down."

If it was typical "parent in the stands" behavior he should have been given a raise..

 

[NJZoo]

To clarify, some of the language was "blowing off steam", but some was directed at the players - like talking right to them. Again, at 12U, I wouldn't accept that from a coach of my daughter. But, to each his own.

 

[HunterMO]

Very competitive game, but what stood out was one of the coaches was literally cursing every other word in front of and at 12U girls. F bombs, BS, son of a bitch, you name it. He was losing his mind. I'm no prude, but I would never dream of talking like that in front of young girls.

I usually try to be fairy non-judgmental for how coaches act on the field. I know how I aim to behave but understand not everyone is the same.

But, I’m going to get on the soapbox on this one. Competitive 12U….which means ages 10-12 are on the team. I get maybe the coach had a bad day, week, or month. All involved have lives outside of the sport which can effect our attitude on the field. But that isn’t an excuse to be dropping F-bombs in front of and at 10-12 year olds. Yes, are they hearing it elsewhere? Probably. Yet, coaches are in positions of leadership and setting example. The kids should be looking up to the coach, not afraid of an outburst when things don’t go right.

 

[LEsoftballdad]

I pulled my youngest daughter from her original 10U team because the two coaches couldn't stop cursing in the dugout. It wasn't directed at the players, but I was raised not to curse around children. They'll learn it elsewhere, but I feel that is disrespectful to the children.

 

[PapaBear]

I'll drop cuss words with the best of them in certain settings and have always sided on they are just words unless you use them to demean, insult or use in a form of direct hatred. I'll never be ok with a coach at that level using foul language towards their own team, umpires or opposing teams during competition as they are a representation of my child. As a coach years ago my wife had one request and that was understood as we have it for our own kids, don't embarrass me (with our kids it is in school, life choices). Cussing at kids does not work, regardless of the parent who says it does. Over times it only beats the kid up and eventually it shuts them down.

 

[Lance Steckler]

i try my best to limit even the smallest off color remark around my teams, and they are 18u. Even around the girls that talk in the dugout would make a sailor blush.

Just set a standard as a coach to be a good roll model where ever possible. They hear it from all over, don't need an authority figure in their lives doing it.