- Jun 24, 2013
- 427
- 0
This is coming from a coach, directed to parents. Why do parents put up with bad coaching?
I came across this situation this weekend and I wondered why these parents put up with bad coaching. Here is the situation:
At the end of a tournament this weekend I was walking to my car to load up and go home. This other coach (14U level) is having his "pep" talk behind his vehicle which is parked next to mine. It takes me a little while to load all my gear so I get "blessed" to hear his talk. Here is how it went:
"I am disappointed in you girls. I don't think ya'll want to play. You only scored 1 run in the past 2 games. ONE RUN! You left too many runners on base. There is a tournament coming up in 2 weeks and frankly I don't want to spend the $335 to go to it. As a parent, I personally feel that is a lot of money to waste" At this point some other misinformed moron chimes in "I agree!" the coach picks back up "I don't think your parents want to spend that money on you. I know I don't. You girls played poorly out there and I don't think you want to play." He keeps rambling on about how poorly they played and some other stuff so I get in my car shaking my head.
What do you think this coaches problem is? Lack of offense? Lack of defense? Both? Neither? Actually he has 1 flaw for coaching womens softball. He doesn't understand girls. Girls are different from boys in this way. Girls have to feel good to play good. Boys have to play good to feel good. If your coach doesn't understand that basic philosophy, then you have the wrong coach.
Here is probably what the coach thought the girls were hearing from him:
You didn't give me enough effort, I want to see more effort out of you. You will come back next time more motivated and we will blow every team out of the water. Your hitting will magically improve because of my pep talk. You will be error free because of this "motivational" speech I am giving. You will come back next time more motivated to do better.
Here is what the girls really heard:
You suck. I mean you really suck. I don't believe in you. Your parents don't believe in you. You are worthless. You are not worth spending $335 on. See! Other parents/coaches believe you are not worth spending more money on either because one of them just agreed with me. There is no hope for you. Our coaching staff made no errors in strategy, base running, pitch calling, batting line up or fielding positioning. It is all your fault. You can't hit the ball. I don't believe you will ever be able to hit the ball. You can't field well. This tournament confirmed what I already knew about you and that is, YOU SUCK. I am going to start looking for other players to replace you just as fast as I can, because, after all, YOU SUCK.
As I approached my vehicle I kind of already knew this kind of speech was coming as the girls all had their heads down and several AC's faces were red and angry looking. The girls heads all got lower during the speech. Way to motivate young girls coach!
The parents were gathered around and heard the same speech and I wondered why they were putting up with it. Maybe it is the only organization around and they figure that any playing time is better than no playing time. Maybe they figure because they have the word coach on the back of their shirt, they must know what they are doing and this is what great coaches do. This happened to my DD's once and we didn't stay around any longer. It is not worth it to my DD's self-image to let someone tear it down.
So I would like to hear from parents who have coaches like this. Why do you stay?
I came across this situation this weekend and I wondered why these parents put up with bad coaching. Here is the situation:
At the end of a tournament this weekend I was walking to my car to load up and go home. This other coach (14U level) is having his "pep" talk behind his vehicle which is parked next to mine. It takes me a little while to load all my gear so I get "blessed" to hear his talk. Here is how it went:
"I am disappointed in you girls. I don't think ya'll want to play. You only scored 1 run in the past 2 games. ONE RUN! You left too many runners on base. There is a tournament coming up in 2 weeks and frankly I don't want to spend the $335 to go to it. As a parent, I personally feel that is a lot of money to waste" At this point some other misinformed moron chimes in "I agree!" the coach picks back up "I don't think your parents want to spend that money on you. I know I don't. You girls played poorly out there and I don't think you want to play." He keeps rambling on about how poorly they played and some other stuff so I get in my car shaking my head.
What do you think this coaches problem is? Lack of offense? Lack of defense? Both? Neither? Actually he has 1 flaw for coaching womens softball. He doesn't understand girls. Girls are different from boys in this way. Girls have to feel good to play good. Boys have to play good to feel good. If your coach doesn't understand that basic philosophy, then you have the wrong coach.
Here is probably what the coach thought the girls were hearing from him:
You didn't give me enough effort, I want to see more effort out of you. You will come back next time more motivated and we will blow every team out of the water. Your hitting will magically improve because of my pep talk. You will be error free because of this "motivational" speech I am giving. You will come back next time more motivated to do better.
Here is what the girls really heard:
You suck. I mean you really suck. I don't believe in you. Your parents don't believe in you. You are worthless. You are not worth spending $335 on. See! Other parents/coaches believe you are not worth spending more money on either because one of them just agreed with me. There is no hope for you. Our coaching staff made no errors in strategy, base running, pitch calling, batting line up or fielding positioning. It is all your fault. You can't hit the ball. I don't believe you will ever be able to hit the ball. You can't field well. This tournament confirmed what I already knew about you and that is, YOU SUCK. I am going to start looking for other players to replace you just as fast as I can, because, after all, YOU SUCK.
As I approached my vehicle I kind of already knew this kind of speech was coming as the girls all had their heads down and several AC's faces were red and angry looking. The girls heads all got lower during the speech. Way to motivate young girls coach!
The parents were gathered around and heard the same speech and I wondered why they were putting up with it. Maybe it is the only organization around and they figure that any playing time is better than no playing time. Maybe they figure because they have the word coach on the back of their shirt, they must know what they are doing and this is what great coaches do. This happened to my DD's once and we didn't stay around any longer. It is not worth it to my DD's self-image to let someone tear it down.
So I would like to hear from parents who have coaches like this. Why do you stay?