What would you do?

[mudbutt]

My dd has played several years for a local league where practices are non existent. She is a decent player, but far from outstanding. After several years of being with the local league that never practices or allows them to even use the fields for practice she tried out and made a tb team that was new. I feel like she keeps the bench warm and isn't getting any more practice or game time than before which is because she just isn't as good as the others. There will be tryouts soon for the upcoming season and I am afraid she will get cut.

I am a single mother and she isn't the only child and there is only so much I can do to teach her and time to practice and a place to do so are pretty limited. I have paid for lessons and camps and while she shows improvement it just isn't enough.

Should I even let her try out or convince her to try another sport? Should I ask the coach his opinion? I know she has to learn how to handle rejection but she loves to play and its already hard enough that she realizes she is being benched because she is not as good as the others.

 

[Ivy's Dad]

Should I even let her try out or convince her to try another sport? Should I ask the coach his opinion? I know she has to learn how to handle rejection but she loves to play and its already hard enough that she realizes she is being benched because she is not as good as the others.

If she loves to play, let her tryout if she wants to. If at all possible, I would also have her play with the rec. league. Players get better through practice and game experience. The more experience she can get, the better. Improvement isn't linear. My DD will not improve for a while and then seemingly step up to another level. She'll also drop down a level sometimes. If your DD loves to play and wants to play, let her play.

 

[softballphreak]

Ask some coaches that you know if they know someone who would work with her. There are many coaches around who would be willing to help for free if a kid is really interested, even if they can't afford lessons.

There are many, many threads on this forum devoted to helping people learn the sport. It's harder but quite a few of the posters are crystal clear in their teaching. Plus many times there video clips. There are also many instructional clips on youtube.

She "is as good as the others"; she just hasn't learned the skills some of the others have. That may sound obvious to most but when I was a very young kid I seriously didn't know you could learn how; I thought you were good—or you were not. Don't know if that kept me off the Atlanta Braves roster or not.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

I had to practically learn by myself. We did have "sandlot" games though, back then. Heck, I've thrown the ball up on the roof and let it roll down, catch, repeat. Thrown the ball up to myself, thrown the ball against a wall, and tossed the ball up and hit it.

She can also do "dry" practices. She can stand and throw an imaginary ball, while critiquing herself in the mirror or window. She can do the same thing with a bat.

You can help her by getting pics and video of her, so she can see what she is doing. I have a reasonably priced camera (Kodak Easy Share) that will take a burst of shots of her, throwing, etc.

If you have any grass available, she can practice sliding. And she can run. Being able to run, will help every aspect of her game and if the team has to run around the field, she wants to be first.

Does she have a place to hit off of a tee, like in the garage? You could put up a toss net or even an old tarp or blanket.

What position does she want to play? And can you tell us at least the state you are in, if you aren't comfortable telling us a city? We might know of someone that can help you.

 

[quincy]

I hope this does not come out the wrong way … Some of the best parents working with the players know very little about softball. The instructor or coach should be able to provide direction on what your DD should work on.

As Amy mentioned, you would be surprised how little room and equipment you need to practice various aspects of the game. Again the instructor or coach should be able to provide direction. If not, I know people on this forum will.

 

[NVfishing]

When my oldest first started she was at a disadvantage because some of the girls had been playing for three years. She wanted to be better so we would go to the park with a bucket of balls and I would hit grounders to her and have her throw them back. We worked outside of the normal practice time an hour before every practice and she also joined a fall ball league to add more time doing what she liked. They will catch up quickly if you give them time to do it. If your other children are old enough have them join in. Have one stand on first base. You hit grounders and have your DD practice throwing to first. If your DD is an outfielder hit pop ups and short balls and have her throw to second.
If you have a large enough yard set up a target area. Have DD practice throwing at the target. Practice is repetition.

My oldest would also have sleep overs and sometimes those girls would play catch or even do batting practice on their own.

Most coaches don't care if a girl comes down and joins their practices. I've seen three to five girls that don't play with my DD's team come down in the spring and practice. Coaches tend to be there for the players not just team.

 

[sluggers]

Should I even let her try out or convince her to try another sport?

Talk to your DD about it. Set up a meeting with the coach, your DD and you and talk it through.

You didn't give your DD's age, but it could be she just needs some time to catch up. Also, you have to realize how "social" softball is. There a huge amount of time hanging out with friends. So, you just need to talk with her about it. You aren't going to tell her anything she doesn't already know.

 

[NVfishing]

Short story....
About a year and half ago, we got a knock on our door from a 10 year old girl who had seen my daughter pitch in LL. She very kindly asked to speak to "the girl who pitches." I went and got my daughter and told her there was someone here to see her and I didn't know if she knew her. The girl introduced herself and said she was new in the neighborhood and wanted to play softball, so she went with a friend to watch the game. She said she had recognized my daughter pitching as she has seen her out practicing. She wanted to learn how to do it and my daughter told her she had to go take pitching lessons to learn. The 10 year old smiled and said "okay, when do we start?" My daughter thought this was a joke and said "You want me to help you?" I urged my daughter to go get her glove and one of her old gloves and start playing catch. Needless to say they became fast friends even with the age difference and the girl is now pitching in her LL. This experience gave my daughter such confidence and she felt so proud that someone would ask her for help. That little girl did more for my daughter than perhaps my daughter may have done for her.
I'm sure there may be someone in your town that would love to work with your daughter.

That's a great story, thanks for sharing.

 

[Momo'sDad]

Short story....
About a year and half ago, we got a knock on our door from a 10 year old girl who had seen my daughter pitch in LL. She very kindly asked to speak to "the girl who pitches." I went and got my daughter and told her there was someone here to see her and I didn't know if she knew her. The girl introduced herself and said she was new in the neighborhood and wanted to play softball, so she went with a friend to watch the game. She said she had recognized my daughter pitching as she has seen her out practicing. She wanted to learn how to do it and my daughter told her she had to go take pitching lessons to learn. The 10 year old smiled and said "okay, when do we start?" My daughter thought this was a joke and said "You want me to help you?" I urged my daughter to go get her glove and one of her old gloves and start playing catch. Needless to say they became fast friends even with the age difference and the girl is now pitching in her LL. This experience gave my daughter such confidence and she felt so proud that someone would ask her for help. That little girl did more for my daughter than perhaps my daughter may have done for her.
I'm sure there may be someone in your town that would love to work with your daughter.

That's what it's all about right there.

 

[mudbutt]

9 games later at one inning per game on average. Talked to the coach, was told he has positioned kids to win which I understand however we aren't winning. Out of 12 kids there are only half that attend practices and the ones who do come have siblings that play on 10u that practice with us when they come which means my kid is also the sub during practices to kids that arent on the team. 2 of the infielders aren't ever there except for games and they aren't as good as some of the others in the outfield but they are coaches kids. There other extra player is good too but getting frustrated from the same treatment. My kid is apparently a sub in uniform with a parent paying for other kids to play. I am tired of paying to go to these tournaments to watch other kids play then trying to rationalize why this is happening to a 8 year old. Maybe if her dad was a coach or she started skipping practice for friends partys or vacations she could play more. I don't know I am just frustrated but never show it to my daughter who just thinks softball rules the world.