What parents are really saying...

[GatorGirl]

Agree. Your DD knows what "quick hands" means Eric F because you have taken the time to explain it to her her and what you mean when you say this. I am just referring when coaches say this to a kid, doesn't bother to explain and then when she doesn't fix it, just shakes their head. Yes hands are "part" of the swing absolutely, but you don't hit the ball with them. To an 8-9 year old that hasn't had it explained to her, it means nothing.

I love the dirt comment. Why do they do this!!!

 

[Eric F]

Agree. Your DD knows what "quick hands" means Eric F because you have taken the time to explain it to her her and what you mean when you say this. I am just referring when coaches say this to a kid, doesn't bother to explain and then when she doesn't fix it, just shakes their head. Yes hands are "part" of the swing absolutely, but you don't hit the ball with them. To an 8-9 year old that hasn't had it explained to her, it means nothing.

I love the dirt comment. Why do they do this!!!

I hear ya. Without context, those kinds of phrases are useless and often confusing. With my DD and her teammates, I do my best to stick with terms that we've worked with during practice.

Why play with the dirt? Boredom, short attention span, etc. They're still just little girls, after all.

 

[BaldNBeautiful]

"here is how this works, I tell you what to do, you do it. Want to be a coach? then age 30 years, go bald and get a big belly"

"I don't care if you make 1000 mistakes, but if you draw in the dirt one more time I am going to rip your leg off and beat you with it (to my own DD)"

For the playing in the dirt I one time said "cats scratch in the dirt, are you doing it for the same reason?" Only got a befuddled look, but the other parents thought it funny (except DW)

or "GET THAT PIANO OFF YOUR BACK AND RUN!!!"

Hey quit with the Michael Jackson impersonation and use your glove!" from the old Lewis Grizzard joke from when the Braves were pathetic: "Why are the Braves and Michael Jackson alike? Because they wear one glove for no apparent reason."

 

[JJsqueeze]

the other parents thought it funny (except DW)

if I had a dollar for every time my wife thought my humor was out of line I would be a very wealthy bachelor.

 

[canyonjoe]

I think we would have about the same amount of money.

 

[CoachKevin]

The thread has kinda turned into sarcasm sayings... which I am a pro..

After our catcher had a D3K, "Hey, you do know that position is called catcher for a reason... right?"

After getting thrown out on a routine groundball, "Dude, you have to run like you stole something"

After our pitcher bounced one in front of the plate, "I didn't know you had that pitch.... what number is the bounce pitch?"

 

[James Smith]

I need to reread our Team rules but I think it states if you use the word “dude” you are banned to the parking lot for 3 innings.

 

[GatorGirl]

Thanks guys I needed to have a good laugh. I think these are totally fine and get the kids laughing, but your point still gets made. I can't wait to use the "stole something" line.

GG

 

[Easton33]

The thread has kinda turned into sarcasm sayings... which I am a pro..

After our catcher had a D3K, "Hey, you do know that position is called catcher for a reason... right?"

After getting thrown out on a routine groundball, "Dude, you have to run like you stole something"

After our pitcher bounced one in front of the plate, "I didn't know you had that pitch.... what number is the bounce pitch?"

I am using that last one!! My dd has 2, a straight bounce pitch and a bounce straight in shin pitch

 

[CoachKevin]

This one works on the younger ages;

"Boys, pick up the gear and clear out of the dugout"
The team says, "We're not boys"
I say, "Oh, that's why you look so funny"

When warming up and a ball goes off someone's glove, "Suzi, tell Emily you are sorry for hitting her in the glove with the ball"