The "Hissy-Quit"

[marriard]

I once umpired a college game where the visiting team's head coach and one of her assistants got into a fight in the dugout that then spilled on to the field.

That was a fun report to write and week of stupid conference hearings. 2 years on and they still coach together. Yay.

 

[The Man In Blue]

This must be a TB specific thing. Never seen this in house league.. yet.

Way back when, I saw it a lot in house/rec ball. We had to implement a league policy on who teams could use for fill-ins because we had coaches bringing in “competitive” players or even players from other teams and playing them over paid team players.

As a coach I would tell my “call-ups” that they were not guaranteed playing time but I would do my best to get them in IF my team players were all there. Thing with rec league was you never knew.

 

[CMMom1740]

Way back when, I saw it a lot in house/rec ball. We had to implement a league policy on who teams could use for fill-ins because we had coaches bringing in “competitive” players or even players from other teams and playing them over paid team players.

As a coach I would tell my “call-ups” that they were not guaranteed playing time but I would do my best to get them in IF my team players were all there. Thing with rec league was you never knew.

Well, there's a big difference between picking up at a rec game where it's 10 minutes away from your house and picking up at a Nationals across the country. I have a friend whose daughter picked up at PGF Nationals this year. The coach told her that her role would be pinch running; that's it. No batting, no fielding. She agreed to that, flew from GA to CA, paid for hotel/rental car/meals, and that's exactly what she did. Pinch run. But on one of the best 16U teams in the SE and got tons of exposure. So, it was good for her. But the key was COMMUNICATION. Coach prepared her and she was ready for it.

 

[uncdrew]

In our little 10U local community B level Travel team, more than half the parents think that all girls are equal. So when a girl sits in a bracket game, all hell breaks loose.

[EDIT: Despite our initial and continuous discussions with parents about earning positions, playing time, etc. etc.]

Good times.

 

[croaker66]

I'm one of those parents who was frustrated with playing time. I di not have a fit or confront the coaches. When I couldn't take it anymore I would go sit away from the field. I t's not about me it's about the girls. I never once complained in front of my DD. I can understand playing if the girls are better but what about if they are both equally good. What message does that send to the players? My parents bought the uniform tops so I get to pick where I want to play and don't have to earn it. How would the group handle that?

 

[corlay]

The whole "industry" is broken.

The NCAA made a big step to try and curtail some of the craziness, by limiting DI contact of prospects until sept 01 of junior year,
and curtailing the (escalating) practice of verbally-committing 8th graders.
I do think that made an improvement, at least for 14U and younger teams.

But the "culture" of travel softball, preys on parents fears.
I say "Fears" because, the system as it is, creates fears in parents minds like:
1. If I don't get Suzy on the "platnum" (or is it "premier" hehehe) team she will never get a "full-ride".
2. Sure, Suzy doesn't play much on this roster of 18 players, but I don't mind paying $4k in team dues for her to sit the bench, becasue Patty effing Gasso came to one of their games three years ago.
3. Suzy wants to got to college in the Northeast, but we absolutely HAVE to play the Boulder IDT or else she won't get a "full-ride".
4. etc. (I'm sure you all can think of other examples...)

PS there are no "full-rides" people!
(unless your kid is exceptionally smart, can combine athletic and academic scholarships, and isn't attending an Ivy (or similar)...)

Anyway.... part of the reason the "Hissy-Quit" exists, is because Parents fall into this trap, chasing something above their kid's abilities or simply chasing it way too unnecessarily early. And then they realize their bad decisions and it sort of builds up and pops...

Another lesson: no matter how well you have researched the next team Suzy plays on, it will NEVER go as you have hoped for.So many moving parts and things are out of your control (like it or not). You can try and be smart about it, and make the best possible choice at the time, but always be prepared for at least a few curve balls.

Lastly, high-level travel softball is expensive. It is a significant strain on many (most?) families' budgets. Whenever money is spent and Suzy sits on the bench, things can turn ugly in a heartbeat. Rosters larger than 11or 12 kids increases this probability. Organizations that offer no "transparency" to Parents regarding "where the money goes" is also a BIG contributing factor.

 

[hummingbird]

The whole "industry" is broken.

The NCAA made a big step to try and curtail some of the craziness, by limiting DI contact of prospects until sept 01 of junior year,
and curtailing the (escalating) practice of verbally-committing 8th graders.
I do think that made an improvement, at least for 14U and younger teams.

But the "culture" of travel softball, preys on parents fears.
I say "Fears" because, the system as it is, creates fears in parents minds like:
1. If I don't get Suzy on the "platnum" (or is it "premire" hehehe) team she will never get a "full-ride".
2. Sure, Suzy doesn't play much ion this roster of 18 players, but I don't mind paying $4k in team dues for her to sit the bench, becasue Patty effing Gasso came to one of their games three years ago.
3. Suzy wants to got to college in the Northeast, but we absolutely HAVE to play the Boulder IDT or else she won't get a "full-ride".
4. etc. (I'm sure you all can think of other examples...)

PS there are no "full-rides" people!

Never understood the wanting a full ride mentality.
Anyone who has gotten a full ride has already spent near that much in lessons, fees , etc no?

And let's say they get in on a full ride, so what then? After college what real great options are there for your DD?

The pro level isn't paying anything from what I can tell. So what exactly is the motivation to be so obsessed to the point of causing a scene in public?

I admit, I want my DD to do well, and succeed, but mostly for her to enjoy her childhood, stay fit, and learn life lessons through competitive sports.

 

[_MIA_]

Never understood the wanting a full ride mentality.
Anyone who has gotten a full ride has already spent near that much in lessons, fees , etc no?

And let's say they get in on a full ride, so what then? After college what real great options are there for your DD?

The pro level isn't paying anything from what I can tell. So what exactly is the motivation to be so obsessed to the point of causing a scene in public?

There is never a good reason to act like that but sometimes people just lose their cool.

In terms of motivation for getting a scholarship (really it more accurately should be described as being as good as you can be..the scholarship part would be the byproduct of that) and/or playing at the highest level of the sport, not every life decision has to be made purely on a monetary level. Plus getting a college scholarship doesn't preclude getting a good academic degree..

 

[Eric F]

I'm one of those parents who was frustrated with playing time. I di not have a fit or confront the coaches. When I couldn't take it anymore I would go sit away from the field. I t's not about me it's about the girls. I never once complained in front of my DD. I can understand playing if the girls are better but what about if they are both equally good. What message does that send to the players? My parents bought the uniform tops so I get to pick where I want to play and don't have to earn it. How would the group handle that?

If I had two players that were truly "equally good", on both sides of the ball, I would give them both playing time, as much as I could. When you factor in fielding, hitting, and how they mesh with the players around them, I would say it's exceptionally rare to find two truly equal players.

In the case of our team, we had two players that were very similar in fielding abilities, but one was struggling with her hitting, and the other was being productive. The better hitter was selected by the coaches for bracket games in the most important tournament we played in our two years together.

If a player insists that they don't have to earn their spot because their parent bought the uniforms (or something like that), and the coaches use that as their criteria for lineup selection, the team is going to have a very hard time getting and keeping talented players.

Bottom line...Earn your spot. Being "as good" isn't enough. Be better. Be so much better you can't be ignored.

 

[Eric F]

And let's say they get in on a full ride, so what then? After college what real great options are there for your DD?

I'm not sure how you're connecting these two. A "full ride" is getting your college paid for. You're still getting an education.