Terrible human being

[Long Baller]

As a coach, I would have spoken up the first time I heard something inappropriate said about one of my kids. There is absolutely no place for a grown adult saying anything derogatory about a child. Then to directly address an opposing player??? At that point, I would have called time and said something like "Coach, you are NOT to address my players. We aren't doing that. Do you understand me?" And/Or tell the Ump that "Hey Blue, I cannot have him addressing my players like that. This is unsportman like. Can this be addressed now please."

As an Ump, I absolutely would give him a warning and toss him if I heard anything like that again. That coach would be on a very short leash.

Some "coaches" should not be around kids. These problems don't go away because people let it happen, and actually buy into the behavior.

We had a 10U travel coach that got a little overzealous at times. I talked to a couple of the parents about going to the org president over some behavior issues, but the consensus was "But, but, but... We are on the 'Premier, Gold, Elite team', everyone wants to be on this team. This is just how it is..."

 

[Andy P]

Terrible behavior; that guy has no business being in youth sports.

But let me ask this. How many of us allow our girls to do chants that talk about opposing players? I’ve always viewed this as a HUGE sportsmanship FAIL, but feel as though I am in the minority as umpires and opposing coaches generally see no need to tell them to cheer for their own players.


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[radness]

" The ump finally gave him a warning about his behavior. "
Ump needs to step up earlier. Nip it in the bud early.
If the parent on his team accept his behavior well...... But if he talks directly and degrades to any of my players I am immediately making a scene. I think it is important to confront his behavior at first offense. Realize he is not going to calm down or chill out on his own.

Apparently you are in the minority to step up immediatly! Agree!
Appreciate the backbone if needed!

Really from these stories we can see people allow themselves willingly to endure.
They have that choice.

 

[_MIA_]

Apparently you are in the minority to step up immediatly! Agree!
Appreciate the backbone if needed!

Really from these stories we can see people allow themselves willingly to endure.
They have that choice.

Like I said if somebody was berating my kid (as an opposing coach) I would have a really hard time not doing something but a) I probably would go off the rails in the process and that would just compound the situation and b) 9 out of 10 times confronting somebody on the spot won't do a thing to change long term behavior. If you want to make a meaningful change you have to take away something from them which they care about...

The situation is different (and easier) if the berating is being done by my kid's own coach. In that case, I am taking my kid off the team immediately.

 

[Michael_Leavitt]

This is a great conversation from the parent/coach point of view. As an umpire, I have a zero-tolerance policy for coaches saying anything negative about an opposing player. That gets stopped immediately. I also stop cheers that degrade the opponents. Where it gets dicey is when I see a coach berating their own players. I have been counseled to say nothing during the game and to report them to the league/association/city. I am amazed that parents allow this behavior from a coach towards their daughter. I can't understand why parents do not immediately remove their players and get them in a more positive environment. I think it is from fear of their daughters missing out on opportunities. I often hear parents rationalize by saying that these coaches are preparing their daughters for both college and the real world. There is a fine line in their somewhere between intensity and being abusive, but you should err on the side of abuse. Please stand up and protect your daughters. Michael Leavitt - Orem, Utah

 

[radness]

Like I said if somebody was berating my kid I would have a really hard time not doing something but a) I probably would go off the rails in the process and that would just compound the situation and b) 9 out of 10 times confronting somebody on the spot won't do a thing to change long term behavior. If you want to make a meaningful change you have to take away something from them which they care about...

Not a parent, yet still bizarre to watch people stay to endure..
Possibly it continues because folks know they dont want to take on the respondsibilty of dealing with the problem.
And/or
Know they dont want to step up and coach.
ie
~ remove the problem
~ be the solution

 

[CoachJ5513]

I would consider that unsportsmanlike like behaviour and confine that coach to the dugout. I always try to avoid a parking lot ejection, and never argue in a confrontational stance (chest to chest, squared up, etc).
Call time, walk to the offending coach,and have this convo shoulder to shoulder with me holding open the lineup sheet ... "Coach, do not directly address any player on the opposing team and do not make another negative comment about a player from the opposing team or you will be confined to the bench for the remainder of the game, where any other offense will result in forfeit"
If its hot/cold... Im not sending you to the a/c or heater. Sit your butt down right over there and enjoy the elements

 

[RIZZARIJOE]

I wanted to share a situation that occurred last night that I can't believe I actually witnessed. We were playing a 10U Rec league game at our home field. Right from the warmups, I had a bad feeling about the opposing head coach by comments I heard him making to his own girls, things like "miss that ball again and your riding the bench" and "if you don't swing the bat why bother coming to the game". I honestly couldn't believe what I was hearing him say to these young girls that he is supposed to be teaching and helping them grow to love the game! We took the field to begin the game and that's when he started with our girls, as our pitcher was warming up he was talking loud enough for his team to hear saying negative things about our girl on the mound to the point where you can clearly see it was bothering her. It's hard enough for these young girls that are just starting to pitch to stay focused, and part of the game is them learning to deal with the opposing team when they cheer/chant to not let it get in their head. So the first batter came up and our pitcher was clearly rattled by this coach and she hit the first girl she faced. So our catcher who does a remarkable job for a young girl managing the game went and talked to her and whatever she said worked she struck out the next 2. So the coach yells to his #4 hitter, this pitcher is nothing, go up there and wait for your pitch. It definitely got in her head again and she hit the batter, the coach explodes talking directly to our pitcher asking her if he needs to send his batters up with catchers gear on to protect them and a few other out of line comments again directly to her. The ump finally gave him a warning about his behavior. Move forward 2 innings and we have an different pitcher in, to keep it somewhat short he stated all over again with this young girl, at this point he made 2 10 year olds upset to the point of tears, I had enough and told him if he speaks to any of our girls again he was going to have a serious problem. I'll stop venting, I was just so shocked and appalled that a grown man could act/treat innocent young girls the way he did, there is no room for people like this in youth sports of any kind and I really hope he gets what he deserves and is banned from coaching. Thanks for listening/reading!

I put most of the responsibility on the umpire. As soon as ANY derogatory remarks were said, he should have shut this coach down. These are young girls, just feeling their way around in life, and the last thing that is needed is for them to be condemned by some idiot coach.

 

[Orange Socks]

I would consider that unsportsmanlike like behaviour and confine that coach to the dugout. I always try to avoid a parking lot ejection, and never argue in a confrontational stance (chest to chest, squared up, etc).
Call time, walk to the offending coach,and have this convo shoulder to shoulder with me holding open the lineup sheet ... "Coach, do not directly address any player on the opposing team and do not make another negative comment about a player from the opposing team or you will be confined to the bench for the remainder of the game, where any other offense will result in forfeit"
If its hot/cold... Im not sending you to the a/c or heater. Sit your butt down right over there and enjoy the elements

I like this approach.

 

[Luke]

Umpire here...the umpire should have intervened after the first comment was directed at an opposing player, coach, or spectator. In short, the umpire failed. There is a code of conduct, which has been formalized, in both high school sports and college sports which prohibits teams from addressing opponents in an unsportsmanlike fashion. You can cheer for your own team, but never direct comments toward your opposition. At any level, rec ball or D1, the umpire ought to immediately shut down a coach or player who engages in ‘bench jocking’. “Coach, you may not address the other team. This is your only warning.” Furthermore, unsportsmanlike conduct can be unacceptable toward your own players too. “Coach, your conduct is unacceptable. This is your only warning.” At times, I’ve restricted a coach to the dugout. When I’ve done so, I inform the coach, “you can watch the rest of the game, from the dugout, in silence, or listen to the rest of the game from the parking lot; it’s your choice.” Other times, the coach is simply ejected.