Just want to remind folks that you can practice and get better at 'being nervous', and it doesn't need to just be on the ballfield. Some people are naturally talented at handling nerves, while some need to work on it as a skill. I was a professional musician in a previous life. That age was terrible for me, and most kids that I've taught. I've found that most kids/adults grow into their confidence, but at different rates, and some never do. The more situations in life that she can practice the skill of 'being nervous', getting out of her comfort zone, the quicker she'll grow into herself.
This is an amazing thread with amazing responses. My daughter is only 9 and loves the game. I am the coach of her White (we don’t say B) team. I am not afraid to say I’m tearing up reading this thread, not so much about a softball future but more about the journey of reaching the age of 16. Thank you!!!My DD is on an upper B-level 16U travel team. Has played softball since she was 6. While she enjoys the game and LOVES being with the team, her overall game skills are average…at best. There are times where you see the potential for her to be an above average player Great focus, good athletic plays, solid and confident. Not a star player by any means, but solid and reliable. But, unfortunately, more often than not lately, she is playing scared, not-confident or focused, errors everytime the ball is hit to her and non-productive at bats.
I could write it off as a slump, but this pattern has been going on for years and I just don’t know what to say anymore. I try to boost her confidence, celebrate the good plays, gently point out where she could improve, or say nothing if that is the vibe I’m getting.
She is not being pressured to play by us. We have been very open with her that if she isn’t enjoying the game anymore and wants to be done, that’s fine. It’s her choice.
She doesn’t want to be done.
The biggest issue *I* have is that I don’t think she truly grasps the gap that is widening between her and the rest of the team in regards to skill. I don’t think she understands how important consistency and a little mental focus and toughness are at this age level. You can’t keep saying “I was nervous…I wasn’t sure….” when making errors or not being aggressive. I think she has the mindset that she’s played with these girls for this long and will just continue to get to make the team … or be on varsity next year for her school team… because that is what is supposed to happen.
As her parent and also an observer, I can tell you that that is not going to happen unless there are some major improvements.
Please note, it’s not that she has an entitled attitude and thinks she deserves to play varsity, upper level team, etc. It’s more that she thinks that’s how it’s always been, so why would now be different. I’m at a loss for what more to say or do. Do I just let her ride it out and let her find out what happens? I mean, I guess there isn’t anything else to do but that, but it’s hard. It’s really hard to watch and observe. Advice? Thoughts? Similar experiences?