Sex offenders in youth sports

[SoccerDad]

To be clear, I think the dad has the right to watch his daughter play, but I also think the club should notify the parents on the team so that they can take the right precautions. What if you didn't know about this guys past and you let your DD spend the night at their house? What about an all day tournament where this guy is around? I watch my DD like a hawk but it only takes a couple of minutes for something bad to happen.
Legally, I guess the club doesn't have to notify the other parents. But wouldn't that be the right thing to do?

I looked up "moderate level offender" on the Texas Sex Offender website and it says "indicates a moderate danger to the community and may continue to engage in criminal sexual conduct". There has to be a reason why he isn't listed as a "low level" offender.

At their first club, the club didn't actually kick this family out. The parents voted on it and it was the parents decision. The DD has the worst attitude of any 8 year old you will ever see and the dad is the worst sports parent you would ever want to meet, so most organizations wouldn't allow them on their team anyway, even if they didn't know about the dad's past. This guy doesn't know how to sit by himself and enjoy his DD's game, so unfortunately for his DD, it's a package deal. And yes I have seen him "unofficially coaching other peoples kids" at one tournament.
I know in Texas, an offender has to notify the local authorities anytime they move into a new community. Apparently there are no safeguards in youth sports.
We have a family friend that was a nanny when she was younger. The child that she watched was abducted from a soccer field by a sex offender and killed.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

Of course, it sounds like this guy's personality will keep people away. But, what if, I didn't know about him and he asked to pick up softballs or throw soft toss or something? I just wouldn't want him to become friendly with the girls.

 

[starsnuffer]

The problem with the "sex offender registry" is that it marks people for life. It's really an unethical practice, but in the era of helicopter parents who'd rather monitor then teach their kids how to deal with conflict, it seems to be the way society is going. I'm pretty sure that the framers of the constitution and the legal system did not have "Banned for life" in mind when the laws were drawn up. If the legal system cannot rehabilitate criminals, then the system needs to change or we just need to murder every individual upon conviction to save us all some money. It isn't rocket surgery.

IF an 18 yo has a relationship with a 17yo and gets brought up on statutory rape charges (still two consenting individuals, but illegal), the offender will forever more be a registered sex offender and show up on the list.

Anyone buying a house can tell you that when they searched the registry, there's literally an offender on every other block. It's a broken system that does no good in figuring out who may or may not actually be dangerous or who may or may not have a history of preying on children.

I still think education is the best way to go. My DD recently had an older student (senior football player) grope her while she was going through her maze day registering for 9th grade. Without thinking, she windmilled and gave him a fastball to the groin and then ran. She was embarrassed, but she understands that she did the right thing and it wasn't her fault. Its rare that these kids are forcibly assaulted, most of them are lured in and make a bad decision on their own that they later regret.

-W

 

[SoccerDad]

The problem with the "sex offender registry" is that it marks people for life. It's really an unethical practice, but in the era of helicopter parents who'd rather monitor then teach their kids how to deal with conflict, it seems to be the way society is going. I'm pretty sure that the framers of the constitution and the legal system did not have "Banned for life" in mind when the laws were drawn up. If the legal system cannot rehabilitate criminals, then the system needs to change or we just need to murder every individual upon conviction to save us all some money. It isn't rocket surgery.

IF an 18 yo has a relationship with a 17yo and gets brought up on statutory rape charges (still two consenting individuals, but illegal), the offender will forever more be a registered sex offender and show up on the list.

Anyone buying a house can tell you that when they searched the registry, there's literally an offender on every other block. It's a broken system that does no good in figuring out who may or may not actually be dangerous or who may or may not have a history of preying on children.

I still think education is the best way to go. My DD recently had an older student (senior football player) grope her while she was going through her maze day registering for 9th grade. Without thinking, she windmilled and gave him a fastball to the groin and then ran. She was embarrassed, but she understands that she did the right thing and it wasn't her fault. Its rare that these kids are forcibly assaulted, most of them are lured in and make a bad decision on their own that they later regret.

-W

So, if a moderate level sex offender was around your 8 year old DD on a regular basis, it wouldn't bother you? So how would you teach an eight year old to deal with that "conflict". You can teach a kid anything you want, but most offenders gain a kid's trust over a period of time.
If monitoring my kid makes me a helicopter parent then so be it. Protecting my kids is my number one job in life. Ask any family that has been affected by a child molester and they will all tell you that they wish they had been more protective.

 

[rdbass]

Put me in the "helicopter club" my DD is 14 years old. I drive her to practice,sit and watch her practice,(sit and say nothing) and drive her home. Sorry, people have to earn my trust. Don't get me wrong there are people around my DD that I trust. She has slept over night at teammates houses. I'm just careful. I was the same with my son also. My job is to protect my kids.

 

[chinamigarden]

If the guy was really convicted of having sex with a 16 year old girl, then he is not a pedophile. He is not attracted to pre pubescent little boys or girls. Does your 8 year old look anything like a 16 year old girl?

Would I be concerned, yes. would I watch him like a hawk, probably. But I wouldn't run him out of town either.

Actually I am concerned about all people involved with my kids and I watch them all like a hawk.

 

[MTR]

CoachJV: You want to run background checks on the parents?

Why not? The socialists in this game want to BC every coach, assistant coach, grounds keeper, score keeper and umpire, but who is the child more likely to trust to accept a ride or be alone with, this group or a teammate's parent?

That said, I don't think anyone should be required to have a BI. To start, they do not work in the manner people believe. Only those who have been caught can be caught. It is unnecessarily intrusive in many aspects of an individuals life that has NOTHING to do with softball. And again, THEY DO NOT SOLVE THE PROBLEM!

You want your child to be safe, be the parent. That means you perform due diligence in determining with whom you trust your child, not rely on someone else or a large organization to do it for you.

 

[PEPPERS]

Just asked the person administrates the sex offender list in our department and remember this is GA. The offender can attend the game(s) to watch their children play. They cannot act as a coach or interact with other children. They cannot loiter around after the game and or watch other games the child is not involved in unless they are with the child.

Edit to add: If they are not following these guide lines you can report them to you local sheriff’s department.

 

[SoccerDad]

If the guy was really convicted of having sex with a 16 year old girl, then he is not a pedophile. He is not attracted to pre pubescent little boys or girls. Does your 8 year old look anything like a 16 year old girl?

Would I be concerned, yes. would I watch him like a hawk, probably. But I wouldn't run him out of town either.

Actually I am concerned about all people involved with my kids and I watch them all like a hawk.

Understood. But my biggest concern is that he is labeled as a "moderate level risk". A guy I went to high school with is labeled as a "low level risk". He was 19 and had a relationship with a 14 year old. It was consensual, so he was labeled "low risk".
Most of the people I am seeing listed as "moderate level" are repeat offenders or rapists, etc.
From what I understand, even the school districts receive a list of moderate and high level sex offenders which goes into their data base. These offenders are not allowed to enter the schools. I don't think low level offenders are prohibited from schools.

I'm not suggesting that they do background checks on parents, but once a club happens to find out about a moderate or high level sex offender, I think they should notify the other parents. Obviously the club will not do this because it would hurt their recruiting and profits.

 

[chinamigarden]

Your recourse it to ask the board to put it in its bylaws.

High, moderate, low, how much risk will you allow your dd to be exposed to? Now how much risk will you allow your dd to be exposed to based on what a bureaucrat describes it? And BTW statutory rape is just that Rape. Its not consensual since an underage child cannot consent. Now some states have laws that treat ages differently, there is no standard age of consent among the states. In addition some have different rules based on the age difference between the participants. In those states how an 18 YO boy with a 15 YO girlfriend is treated differently then a 30 YO man with a 15YO girlfriend.

If you don't trust the guy, you don't let your dd be alone with him. Treat him like a stranger. I guess I don't quite understand the issue, you are aware of the guy's background, You think he is a jackass and his dd is a spoiled brat. You don't intend to socialize with the family based on personality. The real risk is the pedophile in the stands that you are not aware of not the ephebophile you are aware of. Of course once your dd goes through adolescence, then this guy becomes a bigger concern.