Question

[quincy]

I am not a hugger, DD is a hugger.

Some coaches she will hug, others she will not. Heck she hugs an umpire or 2.

If she is uncomfortable it needs to stop. As far as I have noticed she initiates it all, not the adult.

 

[Me_and_my_big_mouth]

Not to make light of the situation at all (see my first post), but when my kids were little, they went to a YMCA Summer camp and learned this song. Maybe the girls on the team should learn the hook and make it a chant?
https://youtu.be/Sa0EtdtPi8w


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[djcarter1966]

If the girls feel it's creepy....it's creepy. It's just a natural reaction to open your arms as someone approaches for a hug have her try this, as the coach comes in for the hug put her arms together almost like a boxer would when they cover up and as the coach squeezes she pushes out. As Amy said he is probably looking for a hug back instead of a push away and will quickly get the message; not saying the guy is a predator or anything but it is simply not appropriate. I might have gotten carried away once or twice on a game winning hit or big strikeout for the win and gave out a few hugs as the team was celebrating but it was not anything that occurred regularly. The only other times for hugs are the post season ceremony or party when the season is over and girls are leaving usually accompanied by tears.

 

[quincy]

DD has had hugger coaches, have never had an Issue. Hug all you want.

If a player doesn'the want a hug, no hug for you.

 

[sluggers]

Years involved in youth sports: 48
Number of hugs given to players at or immediately after games: 0 (including hugs given to my own kids)
Number of "high fives" give: Infinite
Number of times I've personally seen a coach hug a player at or after a game: 1 (I've seen a few more on TV...)

Time to go to the AD, then the principal and then the school board.

This could be "grooming" by the coach for something more later.

What a child molester does in a group of kids is (1) start playfully touching children; (3) identify the kids which are comfortable with the touching and (3) isolate those kids and (4) escalate the touching.

Is this guy a molester? I don't know.

Any adult who touches teenage girls after all the publicity about sexual harassment is not "right". At best, the guy is a narcissist who believes he does not have to conform to societal norms.

 

[Coach JV]

Time to go to the AD, then the principal and then the school board.

This could be "grooming" by the coach for something more later.

The above says a mouthful-notify the AD right away with another faculty member or school
staff member present so nothing is taken out of context. Hugging is inappropriate
period. Don't let this guy become a subject on FOXnews.
I have always told my girls to 'go with your gut'. If your
instinct says 'creep' then creep it is.

If AD does not take immediate action- then continue to escalate through administration
until action is taken.

 

[Pop time 44]

There was a girl on my daughter's 12u team that was a hugger. She would always hug the male coaches and it was quite obvious they were uncomfortable but didn't want to hurt her feelings. It stopped, I can't remember if the coach stopped it or if someone pulled her aside and told her its not right.


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[quincy]

Years involved in youth sports: 48
Number of hugs given to players at or immediately after games: 0 (including hugs given to my own kids)
Number of "high fives" give: Infinite
Number of times I've personally seen a coach hug a player at or after a game: 1 (I've seen a few more on TV...)

Time to go to the AD, then the principal and then the school board.

This could be "grooming" by the coach for something more later.

What a child molester does in a group of kids is (1) start playfully touching children; (3) identify the kids which are comfortable the touching and (3) isolate those kids and (4) escalate the touching.

Is this guy a molester? I don't know.

Any adult who touches teenage girls after all the publicity about sexual harassment is not "right". At best, the guy is a narcissist who believes he does not have to conform to societal norms.

Your lawyer side, and experience, is coming out.

All I can say is we have never had an Issue, until of course we have an Issue.

As a coach I am never alone with another player anymore, it is kind of sad.

 

[Bubrox]

DD1 had a butt slapper teammate in 14's. Talk about uncomfortable. One of the parents told her to stop it. She did.

 

[Rambler34]

Your lawyer side, and experience, is coming out.

All I can say is we have never had an Issue, until of course we have an Issue.

As a coach I am never alone with another player anymore, it is kind of sad.

That is my biggest rule. Never be alone with a kid that is not mine. If I am dropping one off or picking them up my DD will be with me. As far as hugging goes yes I have hugged players, more along the lines of they have hugged me. When you start out with kids in 8U and progress through the years, them and their families become an extended family. There are 4 or 5 that will immediately come up to my wife, DD's, and I when they see us and give out hugs. Even at that I am still only going for the one arm around the shoulder hug. I don't want to have anything appear out of the norm.

This type of relationship between two families is totally different than a HS coach/player relationship. We have watched each others kids grow up including siblings that were in diapers at one time. We have been there for funerals and celebrated happy times together. I could never see a HS coach hugging players being alright outside of we just won the state championship and everyone is hugging everyone.