POLL~ my daughter doesn't like a couple players on the team

[CoachCeetar]

I don’t believe that it’s HER decision. Parents are there to help 10 year old kids make the right decision


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maybe at 10, sure. But the competing argument at that level is "well, if my kid isn't having a good time with this group of people, am I sabotaging their like of the sport entirely if I make them stay?"

But even at 10. It's their journey. If a different option exists and the only reason to stay is some variety of "suffering builds character" than nah, make it happen.

Obviously circumstances matter. If they are like "waah, these people are so mean, they're not fun i don't like em blah blah blah" that's different than "These 3 people are really harshing my vibe, there's this other team right over there that I think will just be a much better experience" That's proactive responsible decision making and solution finding.

But as I've said earlier in this thread, this is a super nebulous question. I choose to believe the kid about how they feel when they're making a clear and obvious expression of it. Maybe you tell them "try for one more game/week/etc to see if you can mesh better" but if they're still like "no, they suck" then move.

 

[RADcatcher]

Maybe you tell them "try for one more game/week/etc to see if you can mesh better"

And have a discussion about how to do that. Little communication investigation could be really important because....

but if they're still like "no, they suck" then move.

That 'they suck' part comes from the daughter that wants to go to a different team. Seems finding out why she is saying 'they suck' would be really important. Because the reason 'they suck' could be coming from the bad attitude/perspective of the kid that wants to go to another team.

Attitude adjustment could be the best thing instead of finding another team...
Where she brings her current attitude with her.

 

[CoachCeetar]

well that's why the "no they suck" was me paraphrasing a scenario AFTER giving it another go. Like if it's "they always insist on sick Beethoven fugues for warm ups and I prefer ska" you deal with that. If it's "they're always making snide and judgy remarks about other players and they're not pleasant to be around", maybe ditching them is the right move.

 

[Lightning]

My daughter tends to get along well with others, so the times she's said she doesn't like players on her team, there's been a reason. She knows that our attitude is that she should get along with her teammates as long as they're on the field, so for her to even mention something to us it's because there's a problem. The last girls she "didn't like" turned out to be girls who were bullying some of her teammates (including threats on social media), so if she mentions that she doesn't like someone then it's worth a discussion to dig deeper. I wouldn't automatically move her, but I'd want to know what she's thinking.