Player Weight !

[softball_mom#7]

I think while your intentions good one must be very careful with this subject. Players respect their coaches and often look up to them. A young girls psyche is extremely fragile. Don't think for one second she isn't aware that she is heavier than other girls she is playing with, heavier than other girls in her class. A young girl's body image can be damaged very easily. We are all not built equally therefore you can not put all girls/players into a cookie cutter image of what you think a softball player should look like.

Eating is a lifestyle; both non healthy and healthy. Most people think they are eating healthy and in fact they are not. If you think your players are physically out of shape be a leader. Have them get physicals (let their doctor decide if they need to change their lifestyle), organize a conditioning program, give them exercises to do at home as homework to get stronger (not thinner) wording is everything here. Find creative but kind ways to motivate them. If you can motivate them enough they will motivate their family too. Knowledge is power.

On the flip side, my DD is small for her age. Usually one of the smallest on the team. Almost, every coach has commented on her size to her. She became obsessed with wanting to be taller and bigger until her PC told her, "Don't buy into the hype that you have to be 6' to be a good pitcher. Don't ever let anyone tell you that you can't pitch, because you can and you will be good".

 

[T.J.]

Yes it is a coaches place!

We are in a position where the player and parents are trusting us to prepare and train the kids to maximize their softball abilities so the kid/player can achieve whatever their personal goals are in softball. If weight (or lack of weight) is limiting their potential and development in any capacity, then they need to be aware of that; otherwise we are setting them up for failure...without them knowing it.

Yes there are some phenoms who are overweight and athletic, but they are not obese.

If any particular young girl is heavy, and desires to play HS and/or TB, then she really needs to be talked to about how the intensity level will go up as will the required endurance. And if we allow that heavy/overweight/obese girl to head into HS without any warning about how tough the pre-season training will be...then we have failed her and the parents.

YES...Im sure they all know their child is overweight, and that it's a tough & sensitive subject matter, and I'm sure every family discusses it with their kids over time. I also know it's an issue that worries and concerns them all. Hearing or being reminded about it from a coach might be the last thing they need; but they do need to hear what lies ahead for them in softball as they get older. And that's where we as coaches come in.

The speed of the game intensifies exponentially as you move up through MS into HS; as does the expectation for endurance and performance. I'm sorry if you disagree...but it is our place to let them know if their weight will hinder their softball opportunities now, and as they get older.

 

[About Them]

Yes it is a coaches place!

We are in a position where the player and parents are trusting us to prepare and train the kids to maximize their softball abilities so the kid/player can achieve whatever their personal goals are in softball. If weight (or lack of weight) is limiting their potential and development in any capacity, then they need to be aware of that; otherwise we are setting them up for failure...without them knowing it.

Yes there are some phenoms who are overweight and athletic, but they are not obese.

If any particular young girl is heavy, and desires to play HS and/or TB, then she really needs to be talked to about how the intensity level will go up as will the required endurance. And if we allow that heavy/overweight/obese girl to head into HS without any warning about how tough the pre-season training will be...then we have failed her and the parents.

YES...Im sure they all know their child is overweight, and that it's a tough & sensitive subject matter, and I'm sure every family discusses it with their kids over time. I also know it's an issue that worries and concerns them all. Hearing or being reminded about it from a coach might be the last thing they need; but they do need to hear what lies ahead for them in softball as they get older. And that's where we as coaches come in.

The speed of the game intensifies exponentially as you move up through MS into HS; as does the expectation for endurance and performance. I'm sorry if you disagree...but it is our place to let them know if their weight will hinder their softball opportunities now, and as they get older.

As much as I want to agree, I cannot. The HC of a travel ball team is going to give out life lessons in an attempt to sculp players? Unless the HC has a PHD in child psychology they should refrain from speaking with the player in question. I certainly would not want my daughter suffering from an eating disorder caused by someone that just isn't asked nor is qualified. It's tough enough doing this as a parent, and walk on egg shells while trying to keep our kids healthy without a coach deciding to create a bigger mess. Communication is the key. When it comes to a player's physiological/psycholigical needs and/or weaknesses there is no "we", there is only me-her-and her.

However, if the HC wants to speak with the parents and explain the benefits of better conditioning through hard work and a proper diet....that would be acceptible.

 

[About Them]

By the way, my DD is one of those kids who can benefit by losing 10-15 lbs. "WE" have spoken about turning some of that weight into muscle. "WE" have spoken about the benefits of more muscle = more speed, strength, stamina, and more power. "WE" have done this in such a way to not screw with the head of a 13 year old. We are doing something about it. I trust me when it comes to DD's head. I trust the coach when it comes to fielding, hitting, base-running, and pitch-calling (sometimes). This is a topic that may need to be shelved, cuz it may get the fall-out of the "fielders need to wear a mask" topic.

 

[T.J.]

However, if the HC wants to speak with the parents and explain the benefits of better conditioning through hard work and a proper diet....that would be acceptible.

This would be the obvious and mature approach. I would never talk with the player about this subject matter; I'm not their father and I'm all about maintaining boundaries. But I am friends with the parents, and trust I could have (at their discretion) either a very short or lengthy discussion about the subject matter without any hard feelings; and leave it at that.

The whole psychological, physiological and social challenges that are associated with personal appearance is for another forum and for specialized individuals....I would never touch those areas because I'm not educated or trained to discuss, nor would I pretend to be.

My stance is...knowledge is power. If the parents are not aware that their child's weight could potentially limit her opportunities because they don't know how the sport speeds up through the years, then I feel they should have that knowledge. If they already do know this, then they will kindly let me know.

 

[SCDad]

I bring this topic up because, in my opinion, it needs to be talked about and few do.

Forget the exceptions of great 3rd baseman, or pitcher, who can carry more weight. It astounds me coaches can reach into the most in depth behavior of a player, mental aspects, attitude, hustle, physical tools, parents behavior, and technical aspects of the game.

When for many, many young ladies, especially at the 12U level, the real answer is "listen young lady, no matter what I coach you, none of it will help you until you get serious about your weight".

High Level softball relies on lean players. And try not to compare your body look to the best college players. At 22, they have been lifting weights, have grown women's bodies. 12U players that may "look" like grown women, are actually fat for their age and will wash out because they are too heavy, in a few short years.

But no one tells them. It is taboo !!

 

[James Smith]

We had a player hit the ball to the fence the other day, for 90% of the players it would have been a home run, but we actually had a play to tag her out at 2nd. Parents need to know her size is causing her to lose bases.

Not a topic I am familiar with and would avoid. The parents need to know and whether they can do anything about it I do not need to know.

Edit:

The other thing the above player did was clog up the bases, she wasn’t going anywhere even on a past ball. Again the parents need to know.

 

[SCDad]

By the way, my DD is one of those kids who can benefit by losing 10-15 lbs. "WE" have spoken about turning some of that weight into muscle. "WE" have spoken about the benefits of more muscle = more speed, strength, stamina, and more power. "WE" have done this in such a way to not screw with the head of a 13 year old. We are doing something about it. I trust me when it comes to DD's head. I trust the coach when it comes to fielding, hitting, base-running, and pitch-calling (sometimes). This is a topic that may need to be shelved, cuz it may get the fall-out of the "fielders need to wear a mask" topic.

My DD has behavior faults. She does not always hustle. I tell her, but she does not listen. Only when a coach sits her on the bench because she is not hustling, tells her about it, does she start to hustle.

My DD had trouble throwing the outfield throw. She is slated as an outfielder. I tell her, she does not listen. Only when a coach tells her that is the thing that will stop her going forward, does she come to me and say "dad, lets go out to the field and practice my outfield throws"

My DD has trouble forgetting about the last bad play, and it affects her future play. I tell her, she does not listen. It is only when the coach tells her that she starts to forget the last play, and make better future plays.

Kids do not listen to their parents about softball. Mine doesn't. They DO listen to their coaches. Should a coach step in and say "you are the best player, I love you and am doing everything I can to make you better. The biggest thing you have to work on is losing weight. I will work you harder in practice, but if you want to reach the highest level of softball, your diet off the field is just as important as what is done on the field. Softball is a lifestyle that does not just stop when you leave the field".

Or at least have this discussion in a group (team) setting.

 

[James Smith]

On the flip side, my DD is small for her age. Usually one of the smallest on the team. Almost, every coach has commented on her size to her. She became obsessed with wanting to be taller and bigger until her PC told her, "Don't buy into the hype that you have to be 6' to be a good pitcher. Don't ever let anyone tell you that you can't pitch, because you can and you will be good".

For the 1st time ever DD was not in the front row in a Team picture. She is either growing or we have a really small Team.

 

[SoftballMom2]

IMO we need to be careful about how we speak with adolescent and pre-adolescent girls about their weight. About their health and strength and how the foods affect their performance and their goals?? absolutely but to basically tell a kid she is too fat?? I wouldn't..Who is to say the coach is right? My kid is 12yo, 5'4 and 112lbs..maybe someone else thinks she's too fat or too skinny...she is strong, athletic, doesn't lift yet but she is cut up and dominates in the circle and in the box. who is to pass judgment on her size??
PS-In HS/college I was 5'9" and 150lbs...was I too heavy? Probably according to the height/weight scales and certain peoples opinions..but I was strong, athletic and damn good. I only wish I weighed 150 now
I would beef up the strength and conditioning, have frank discussions about health and diet and refrain from bashing size..just saying