pitcher parent advice please

[MandM]

First, the big plus. DD is getting to pitch varsity, very unexpected but welcome event. As one may expect (as freshman) she has had some good outings, one or two very good, some not so good including today. No real rhyme or reason to it, probably just growing pains. I did not make game, so I asked how it went. The rant: Ump wasn't giving me calls - threw CU down middle of plate, wouldn't give me strikes, did not like pitches coach was calling, teammates made errors yada yada. clearly game did not go well, and was not the kind of performance she was used to.- I was supportive parent knew she needed to vent, and recognize that she is under pressure of her own doing and inadvertently from the coach (compares her to graduated senior who was excellent ).

In my mind, I was thinking about the responsibility for her own performance? and I would have liked to see her think about what she could work on to improve, and not be satisfied with so-so. Am I expecting too much- (of course I am, duh, she is 15) How can I approach this with her and help her to take a bad outing apart a bit and look what she could do better- without (key word) being perceived as overly critical- is that even possible?? should I leave well enough alone and just be a parent. probably.. that seems right- but I would like to help her if I can. WHat to do?


PS Dogs woke me up - big thunder storm, and now I can't sleep

 

[coach james]

Tell her to focus on the things she CAN control.
We can't determine a strike zone for the blue...
We can't decide the weather today...
We CAN however, choose to control our attitude and our effort. We can commit to more pitch specific practices. Every time she steps out there its an opportunity to learn and showcase what she's learned so far. As a dad of a 14yr old pitcher, I'm feeling your pain! good luck, James

 

[anzio336]

My 15yo DD is also starting on Varsity as a Freshman. She just had a game exactly like the one you described, but I was there to see it. The strike zone was tight but fair. There were numerous feilding errors. She really let it affect her. I talked to her about the game afterwards and got pretty much the same response you did. Like was said above, I explained to her that she can only focus on what she can control and that letting it affect her future pitches wouldn't help. I tried to explain that she needs to have a very short memory. Move on to the next batter and forget it. She's a 15yo young lady so we'll see how much of it she retains next time out.

 

[Coach-n-Dad]

Congratulations to your DD on pitching at the Varsity level as a freshman.

There isn't much you can say to her if you are trying to make her feel better. She had a bad outing and she knows it. That's OK as long as she learns something from it. It's easy to blame Blue for a bad outing but if she is going to be a good/great pitcher she is going to have to figure it out and learn to not blame Blue. She needs to accept responsibility for what she has control of and let the rest of it go.

Whenever DD complains to me about Blue, I look at her and say "really?".

 

[chinamigarden]

How does she handle adversity during the games? When the Umps have a tight zone or are not giving her the calls she thinks she should be getting, does she look and act frustrated on the mound (yeah I called it the mound). If she is visibly frustrated it does affect how everyone around her performs. Coaches and/or catchers start to second guess the pitch calling, the fielders get a bit tight knowing that the pitcher is struggling. Even the umps see it and get a bit pissy... How she composes herself on the mound will often times dictate what happens on the field. The best thing she can do is act like nothing bothers her and carry on. Easier said then done, I know.

 

[PA SB Dad]

Pitchers need to figure out blue's strike zone and adjust accordingly - they are not going to change their strike zone just because you are used to getting a certain call. In HS, there is such a thing as "home cooking", where if you are the visiting team, just expect the game to be called a little tighter against you. A pitcher getting visibly frustrated has a domino-effect on the rest of the team. She needs to keep her composure and set the tone for her fielders. Tough for any pitcher, really challenging for a frosh. Good Luck!

 

[CoogansBluff]

The message you want to get across to her is the easy part. How to do that is the challenge, IMO.

For some girls, you can tell them bluntly. But others don't want to be told or lectured. It depends on the relationship you have and the extent to which she is defensive and insecure. Most teenagers are to some extent.

For those, maybe it's better to ask them the right questions and trust that they'll figure it out: 'How did the umpire's calls and your teammate's errors affect your pitching?' ... 'What can you do to get through that?'

 

[knightsb]

Ump wasn't giving me calls - threw CU down middle of plate, wouldn't give me strikes, did not like pitches coach was calling, teammates made errors yada yada.

On DDs TB team, we have a coach who calls the pitches and location. Between every 1/2 inning, the coach, the pitcher, and the catcher get together and talk about what the UMP's zone looks like, how we can stretch the zone, what pitches are working and not, and how we want to attack the next three batters coming up. Does your DD have a similar on going conversation with her coach who calls the pitches and catcher throughout the game? I know for our pitchers and catchers this open line of communication has been very effective.

 

[MandM]

CoogansBluff, do you have a list of other helpful phrases while I think my daughter and I have a very good relationship- especially considering how much time we spend together- I liken the post-game period to navigating a mine field- while she vents at me about the ump, the coach and her teammates, I think the reality is that she is her own critic- so that my comments behave like an accelerant- (putting gasoline on a simmering flame). I guess I am going to go through my own growing pains as I learn how to support her through the process (hopefully I will not make too many mistakes )

 

[MandM]

On DDs TB team, we have a coach who calls the pitches and location. Between every 1/2 inning, the coach, the pitcher, and the catcher get together and talk about what the UMP's zone looks like, how we can stretch the zone, what pitches are working and not, and how we want to attack the next three batters coming up. Does your DD have a similar on going conversation with her coach who calls the pitches and catcher throughout the game?

Not as far as I know- but I will ask her and maybe encourage her to have the conversation with the catcher at least. The coach really is supportive of her too, but this may not be his forte - and I do not want to be "one of those parents" with him as I am not sure it will help her in the long run. I think with TB it will be very different and she will benefit from the experience she is having now.