Parents - UGH!

[3DD'sDAD]

So last night we have our final tryouts for 16U team. Have to cut some players, my youngest daughter (13yo) one of them, and talk to one of the girls in person at the end of the practice. I believe in doing things like this in person or over the phone, rather than by email or text. She was the last to pack up so I took the opportunity. Needless to say, not much fun making a 13 yo cry, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do right?

Well first thing this morning at work I get a call from Daddy - not happy. Don't these parents realize that their crazy behaviour has a negative impact on their dd's chance for a call just in case another girl drops out because she has made a different team? IF someone is on the bubble, and dad wants to know why dd didn't make the team, OK; but accusing the head coach (me) of various things just short of murder and suggesting that the organization is s#%t really comes off bad. I can't believe that these people actually feel that they are doing their kids some good!

Sorry about the short rant, but I had to get this off of my chest. I have never been subjected to this. Questions afterward yes, but this kind of abuse, a first. Anyone experienced this? Can you share your reactions? I want to take and ad out in the locals to warn any other organization to watch out but obviously can't do that. Man what a day.........

 

[jacketsfan]

Just walk away, quickly. What's more, this person will probably bad mouth you and your organization at tourneys for everyone to hear. Again, just keep moving forward. People show themselves for who they are, and when that happens, you'll be on top.

 

[sluggers]

Don't these parents realize that their crazy behavior has a negative impact on their dd's chance for a call just in case another girl drops out because she has made a different team?

They don't care.

Anyone experienced this?

Sure.

Can you share your reactions?

Before or after I drink a shot of tequila?

I've learned to treat these people like outpatients from a mental institution. The preferred reaction: "Sorry you feel that way. Good luck in the future. Bye."

You can't teach them anything. They won't listen. The best thing is to simply end the conversation and move on with your life.

 

[lawdawg]

One mom showed up at my office to complain about playing time for DD - happened to have my coach breif case and showed her DD played in 34 out of 36 games so far that season and started about half. She got angry - cried - screamed - threw chair down and next tourney asked if her daughter could start instead of sub - she had to leave early.

Another Dad confronted me after game with clenched fists because I put a pinch runner in for his DD who did get a legit single during tied game. Said "she hit it she should score!" His DD ran a 5.0 on my time sheet - the pinch runner scored the go-ahead run with play at the plate.

Parent attitude matters!!! Your post brings to mind at least two good ball players who were not selected for our teams because their parents reputation preceded them - strongly; and a third that basically caused a good travel team to break up and reconfigure without their daughter because of their attitude (they controlled the organization name, accts, etc - easier to cut losses and reassemble anew). Parental attitude can act like a cancer on a team - causing stress and tension that most definitely impacts the girls on and off the field. I can also think of other kids who benefited at many different levels from their parents supportive and team-minded attitude. We never used to have a player/parent/team agreement - now seems like a great idea. I WILL call former coaches if I don't know the kid or their parents. Just be glad you found out before you took the kid on your team.

 

[coachtucc]

"Before or after I drink a shot of tequila?"
Can I join you??



Sure.



Before or after I drink a shot of tequila?

I've learned to treat these people like outpatients from a mental institution. The preferred reaction: "Sorry you feel that way. Good luck in the future. Bye."

You can't teach them anything. They won't listen. The best thing is to simply end the conversation and move on with your life.[/QUOTE]

 

[starsnuffer]

Sport-obsessive parents are why we coach softball. We're doing our best to teach their daughters to not be like them.

-W

 

[playball13]

I heard one local College coach tell me he would also watch the players parents during a game. If the parent was yelling and screaming and always instructing his DD from the stands he wouldn't take that player with the "parental baggage".

Some parents don't realize how far reaching their actions really are.

 

[SoCalSoftballdad]

I have come to realize that as a coach you have a big target on your back and will never be able to please every parent/player. The parents will talk behind your back, question your decisions, and even challenge your authority in front of everyone. As a coach, you have to have thick skin, do what you feel is right and fair, be as transparent as possible, work hard with every player, and treat each family with respect. If you try to please everyone on the team, you end up pleasing no one.

 

[Country Boy]

As sad as this sounds, I am trying really hard to punish parents for their behavior. Trying to start this year with a firm hold. Complain about your dd not starting, your daughter will not start at all next tournament. Complain about dd's playing time, it will be decreased next tournament. Complain about my lack of compassion to your problems, bring me the uniforms and I will refund your money. Take your daughter and go.

I will spend hundreds of hours and hundreds of dollars on my team this year. My life is too short to continue putting up with people that don't understand or appreciate. I will do anything for these girls. I am done taking any crap off parents. There are too many girls wanting to play to lose any more sleep over parents.

Now, I don't mean that I won't talk to a parent that wants to know what dd needs to do to play more. I am all for that. I will explain what improvement we are needing from her. I will stay late to help her. I will set up extra practices for her. Anything to help her improve. But if they just want to whine, get out. Here's your money.

Last years team had some dysfunction and I think it was in part due to some 'normal' parenting issues. Some were blowing smoke up their child's rearends and constantly muttering in the bleachers. It was a small minority, but it affected my day and, I believe, the team. No more. I won't put up with a player that is a cancer. I will no longer put up with a parent that is a cancer. If I don't win a state tournament, ok. At least I won't dread going to the diamond.

 

[Wookie]

I heard one local College coach tell me he would also watch the players parents during a game. If the parent was yelling and screaming and always instructing his DD from the stands he wouldn't take that player with the "parental baggage".

Some parents don't realize how far reaching their actions really are.

This is very true. A co-worker's spouse is the volleyball coach at a nearby college. They will not recruit players from certain HS's based on the past parents' behaviors, no matter how good they are, due to the label of that schools parents being overzealous and obnoxious when it comes to their kids ability and playing time. And this is D3, so there is no financial incentive in either direction.