Parents should let their DD just play ball

[aye_lexis]

Yes I totally agree! I've been playing softball forever and I've seen this numerous times. It's even worse when the parent yells at the umpire at bad calls, this girl on my HS team her mom is always yelling at the umpire whom he always ignores but it shows when someone from our team are up to bat and he calls a 3rd strike pitch that's nearly on the ground. Along with letting the DD play, let the umpires ump. They mistakes because their human, it is what it is.

 

[Coach-n-Dad]

DD's last coach had a rule: If a parent talks to a player in the dugout the player sits for the rest of the game - period - no questions asked. If it happened, it only happened once.

The same coach was annoyed that a parent was yelling instruction to his DD while she was at bat. After the game he told that parent that he could feel free to take his DD to a team that allows that, otherwise only positive cheering. If the "coaching" continued from the stands, the family would be asked to leave the team.

There were no problems for the rest of the season.

 

[bucket pinata]

As a dad that spends 4-5 days a week working on pitching with my DD's I see no problem with me walking over to the Dugout and going over the last inning every now and then. Its very rare that teams actually have a pitching coach that dedicates the extra time outside team practice to develop a top level pitcher. The team coaches are not aware of what we are working on or take the time to familiarize themselves with the proper mechanics for them so they should not mind a 1 or 2 minute positive talk. I don't ever get into pitch calling,Batting fielding ,That's between my DD's and coaches. As far as Blue goes not sure where you play but when blue makes a questionable call they hear it from both sides of the diamond. not sure where these parents or coaches for that matter are that watch a called strike in the dirt and stay silent. not being respectful is another matter but the OOHHS and AAHHs and coaches saying that was not your pitch which roughly translates to boy did you blow that call. Some other dads and I set up chairs pretty close to the plate and usually strike up a conversation between innings and have some fun with Blue,It does make it fun and we always thank them for their hard work and they complement our team to the coaches. So if done respectfully I do believe most PU's like some interaction. My one gripe is that Ive noticed a trend growing every year and that Umpires that are so obese and out of shape they cant follow the play or move with action. Ive seen some plate umpires that cant even bend down into the strike zone which does make for some crazy calls.I am very grateful for the underpaid work of the umps but if you lack the ability to jog you should find something else to do.

 

[Greenmonsters]

As a dad that spends 4-5 days a week working on pitching with my DD's I see no problem with me walking over to the Dugout and going over the last inning every now and then. Its very rare that teams actually have a pitching coach that dedicates the extra time outside team practice to develop a top level pitcher. The team coaches are not aware of what we are working on or take the time to familiarize themselves with the proper mechanics for them so they should not mind a 1 or 2 minute positive talk. I don't ever get into pitch calling,Batting fielding ,That's between my DD's and coaches. As far as Blue goes not sure where you play but when blue makes a questionable call they hear it from both sides of the diamond. not sure where these parents or coaches for that matter are that watch a called strike in the dirt and stay silent. not being respectful is another matter but the OOHHS and AAHHs and coaches saying that was not your pitch which roughly translates to boy did you blow that call. Some other dads and I set up chairs pretty close to the plate and usually strike up a conversation between innings and have some fun with Blue,It does make it fun and we always thank them for their hard work and they complement our team to the coaches. So if done respectfully I do believe most PU's like some interaction. My one gripe is that Ive noticed a trend growing every year and that Umpires that are so obese and out of shape they cant follow the play or move with action. Ive seen some plate umpires that cant even bend down into the strike zone which does make for some crazy calls.I am very grateful for the underpaid work of the umps but if you lack the ability to jog you should find something else to do.

You may not see a problem with it, but your DD's current coach should and her future coaches definitely will. Time to break that habit now (or in the very near future) for your DD's sake as you're actually retarding her development. The sooner she learns to rely on her self (and her catcher and team coach) the sooner she'll develop the self-confidence to be able to perform without outside-the-fence help. In a sense, you're acting as her training wheels and delaying her from learning to ride a 2-wheeler by herself. The more often she falls off, the quicker she'll learn to ride that bike on her own. You can be there between games to pick her up, brush her off, and tend to her bumps and bruises, but game time should be her opportunity to succeed or fail (and learn) on her own. A short-term sacrifice for a long-term benefit.

 

[joemcq51]

I agree with Pinata on this one. I would not be real happy with a coach who takes my kid out of the game because she called me over for a questions or to talk about something that she has observed during a game. Giving a quick pointer to your DD to keep her focused. I am several years past coaching her through the fence on every pitch or at bat. I do however attend every hitting lesson and have caught hundreds of thousands of pitches she has thrown. If a coach is so threatened by a parent who would give little reminders or suggestions to their DD, I probably have her on the wrong team. Now I know how it sounds. Let me say again, I do not coach my DD through the fence. I would never move her position on the field, tell her to steal or bunt, etc... But I certainly would say things like "you are pulling your shoulder a bit" or "you are not getting under the rise enough". As someone who has coached for many years, I have changed my views on this topic. When I first got into coaching, I didn't want any instruction from parents either. Being much older now and hopefully a little wiser, this is why I feel differently. Softball for me and my DD has evolved our relationship. When we are on the field, it is not just a father making his DD play situation. She has grown to love the game and develop a passion for it. We now share a common bond, that will hopefully last a lifetime. My DD understands that this is something we do together. Someday, it will come to an end. But not for a few more years. Right now we are both enjoying the game together, and for someone to tell us we can't, I would not like that. Seems a bit dramatic. We have grown beyond father daughter or player coach. The game is a we or us thing right now. When she goes off to college and hopefully plays softball, she will have plenty of time where she is alone with just her team and her coaches. For now, we both like knowing we are in it together.

 

[Big Dave]

I understand the views from bucket and joe, but greenmonster hit it right on the head. These girls need to start to develop their own game. They need to learn and be enabled to make their own adjustments in a game situation - whether she's a pitcher, in the field, or at bat. It's part of them growing and becoming their own player. Off days and after practices are the times when that bonding should be done. I believe, game time should be when the girls get to show off a little and do what they do - that means us as parents get to sit back and become the president of their fan clubs!!

Maybe have a sit down with the coach and talk about some certain 'key words' that might help your daughter. Your DDs coach should be doing things to help the team with the mental side of the game - and yes, it is mental. These girls should not be coached when it's game time. These girls are on stage so just let them relax and play. Think about it - if your daughter was in a drama club play and the parent in the audience was yelling out pointers, it would kind of take the fun out of things.

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love the fact that you, and some other parents, share so much time with their DD. It's great to see and something in this day and age that is not done nearly enough in todays family structure. Part of that structure means teaching how to handle things and then letting them go for it from there. Just like that first time you let go of that bike seat and they ride down the street a ways and fall over. Help them up, pat them on the back, and give them some pointers and let them go for it again!

 

[Greenmonsters]

I agree with Pinata on this one. I would not be real happy with a coach who takes my kid out of the game because she called me over for a questions or to talk about something that she has observed during a game. Giving a quick pointer to your DD to keep her focused. I am several years past coaching her through the fence on every pitch or at bat. I do however attend every hitting lesson and have caught hundreds of thousands of pitches she has thrown. If a coach is so threatened by a parent who would give little reminders or suggestions to their DD, I probably have her on the wrong team. Now I know how it sounds. Let me say again, I do not coach my DD through the fence. I would never move her position on the field, tell her to steal or bunt, etc... But I certainly would say things like "you are pulling your shoulder a bit" or "you are not getting under the rise enough". As someone who has coached for many years, I have changed my views on this topic. When I first got into coaching, I didn't want any instruction from parents either. Being much older now and hopefully a little wiser, this is why I feel differently. Softball for me and my DD has evolved our relationship. When we are on the field, it is not just a father making his DD play situation. She has grown to love the game and develop a passion for it. We now share a common bond, that will hopefully last a lifetime. My DD understands that this is something we do together. Someday, it will come to an end. But not for a few more years. Right now we are both enjoying the game together, and for someone to tell us we can't, I would not like that. Seems a bit dramatic. We have grown beyond father daughter or player coach. The game is a we or us thing right now. When she goes off to college and hopefully plays softball, she will have plenty of time where she is alone with just her team and her coaches. For now, we both like knowing we are in it together.

No question that SB can be a special bond, but...a ship can only have one captain and that's the coach, not you. I don't think a college coach would look favorably on a player they saw getting advice/coaching from their parent during a game. A quick look or simple nod would probably do the trick anyway and will make her transition to doing it without you smoother and easier. And that satisfaction you feel when you see and know that she's doing it all on her own is hard to describe. JMTC