Parents negatively commenting on players from the other team

[alexander58]

I have only witnessed parents from opposing teams speaking negatively (and loudly) a few times. Every time I was caught off guard and disgusted. I was wondering how much of this goes on. What have you seen from other parents audibly criticizing players from other teams?

 

[Ken Krause]

You would have to be a pretty immature adult to criticize a bunch of kids playing a game. But it certainly happens. I find a lot of times this sort of behavior rolls down from the coach. If he has a mouth on him (it's almost always a he), the players and parents follow suit. Coaches who conduct themselves with class and respect the game don't allow this sort of behavior to go on.

 

[MTR]

Ken's right, it comes from the top and I'm not necessarily refering to the coach.

But why should it be acceptable to talk negatively about another person, child or adult? Such action has turned into a job for some, sport for others.

Rant on!

When was the last time you picked up/viewed a sports page and all the articles and op-ed pieces were positive? Yes, in general, we do talk about positives, but there always seems to be some point made degrading the performance of someone else.

There are alleged "reporters" who think their job is to embarass players, coaches, teams, anyone/thing that they think makes them look big and important. Unfortunately, the people in this country thrive on the shortcomings of others which is pretty pitiful if you think about it. And as long as people think this is acceptable, it will permeate throughout all. In spite of popular belief, words cannot hurt you.

Someone tries to insult me or get me angry, I just smile and keep going. Why would I care about what someone else thinks? If you react, you are doing exactly what the instigator wants. Teach you kids not to worry about it. Yeah, I know its tough, but it is a life lessen that is better learned in one's youth, wish I had.

Rant off!

 

[Coach-n-Dad]

You are correct ken that it is almost always a he, but one of the worse teams I have witnessed was a team coached by a woman who's mouth and aggressive attitude were worse than most of the nasty men coaches I have seen.

This is an unfortunate occurrance that most of us would love to see removed from the experience for the kids. But it's not going to happen, sadly.

 

[tghorley]

I find that the adults(?) can be a bigger problem than the kids. And if one starts, there will be several more to join in. When I was coaching, before the first practice I always had a cookout with the kids and parents. At the cookout I would hold a meeting to explain our system, our goals, our expectations of the kids and the parents, etc. One of the things I explained, if any parent showed any action that would bring disgrace to our program or the game to include criticizing other teams, fans, our team members, any coach, umpire, etc then their kid would be suspended for one game. Second offense, two games, third offense removal from the team. In ten years of coaching, I only had to suspend a kid for one game. The parent got the message and after discussing the infraction, she became one of best fans we ever had. Maybe too good, she even applauded the other team and umpires.

And as a coach I tried to lead by example. I always treated the other team and umpires with respect. If a kid made a good play for the other team I applauded him. If they made a mistake, I would tell them to forget about it. If the ump make a bad call, I would not charge at him to protest. I would calmly walk out to him and say "excuse me sir, I think you missed that one", listen to his explanation and walk away.

As a coach lead by example, let everyone know the rules and expectations, respect the game and have fun!


Side note: It has been my observation that this kind of problem is more prevalent with younger teams than with the older groups

 

[quincy]

Only happens occasionally to us.

Usually it is a parent in the stands yelling at our players thru the Umpire or our coaches. Our kids are not stupid, they know they are the ones being yelled at even through the adult is to “mature” to yell directly at our players.

 

[SoftSocDad]

It's an unfortunate part of the culture in almost every youth sport. On our rec soccer team, referees have had to admonish the coach (who is responsible for his team's sideline) because some of our team's parents were yelling at their own girls. It wasn't always mean, but if you listened, you might've heard some things that were borderline, just another reason I choose not to sit near any parents.

With the money involved at the college level, it's possible that many parent-coaches are only going to get worse as the competition for those opportunities increases.

 

[Amy in AZ.]

I have found anytime that I would make a comment to a friend like "that catcher needs some private lessons," inevitably her dad is sitting next to me.

 

[sru]

It happens up here to. Even on one of the local web boards 3 girls (13 YO) on my DD's team where negatively commented on by a parent.

It really disgusts me sometimes. We had a mom on our team who never said anything bad, but her actions and groans during a game where understood load and clear by everyone, even the kids.

 

[SoftSocDad]

I have found anytime that I would make a comment to a friend like "that catcher needs some private lessons," inevitably her dad is sitting next to me.

Ooph. It's just one of those things. If I heard you say that, I would assume you meant that the girl shows real potential and could potentially shine if she got competent instruction. But others, well, you know what they'd think. lol