CoachJ5513
BlueJ5513
Sober. I had a parent approach me at a midnight tournament stumbling drunk. She had called some of the other parents and told them she was "loading up to confront me". They no longer play with our organization.
Parents and coaches.
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- Sep 3, 2009
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Slightly off topic.. but in our area, we have a coach that is rather infamous for being a drunk. Apparently he is somewhat of a functional drunk and is able to somehow meander through tournaments. The later in the day, the worse his behavior. I'm sure it's been brought up to many of the TD's and UIC, etc. I don't know if they need to catch him in the act, or what. But year after year, he somehow squeaks by. I think just about everyone in our area, and in that age group, knows someone on the team who plans to leave, or knows someone who left his team previously, because he's a drunk.
After practice, face-to-face, one-on-one, and at least 24 hours AFTER the issue bugs you.
I would also suggest the parent talk to their daughters! So many of the parents have "issues" because of assumptions they make and if they just talked to their daughters they'd see it from a different perspective and probably gain a whole new understanding of the situation (assuming their daughter tells them the truth of course, but that's another issue).
I would also suggest the parent talk to their daughters! So many of the parents have "issues" because of assumptions they make and if they just talked to their daughters they'd see it from a different perspective and probably gain a whole new understanding of the situation (assuming their daughter tells them the truth of course, but that's another issue).
- Jan 31, 2011
- 458
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The 24 hour rule is best. I have set up times before practice to meet & that works good. In any event, a parent wanting to talk right after a game is a very bad situation. Emotions are high and calm discussions will help solve the problem. As a coach, I need time to gather my thoughts and explain my decisions.
Our coach tells our parents from the beginning of the season: If you have a problem with anything, come to me and we will talk about it. and he means it. But unfortunately, there are parents who would rather stew and fuss behind the coach's back, and talk about him, rather than confront the issue and solve the problem. In my opinion, these are the parents who are just looking for a reason to leave a team. I have seen it plenty over the last 9 years that my daughter has played.
I have seen parents who didn't understand why the coach made this decision or why he didn't play their dd more. They talk to him, he explains his position, and they either agree with it or they dont. But at least it was put out in the open and both sides are aware of how the other feels. More often than not, the problem is solved and everybody is happy.
However, I have also seen parents who didn't like something that the coach did, and they just ran the coach in the ground, complained about his coaching tactics, talked about him behind his back, etc., only to leave the team shortly thereafter. It's easier to leave a team when you make the coach look like a bad coach.
Our coach is perfectly fine with a phone call. He wants to know our concerns. He's invested years building a solid travel team and he doesn't want someone to leave without letting him know why. He understands that the parents are there for one child, but the parents have to understand that he is there for the whole team.
I have seen parents who didn't understand why the coach made this decision or why he didn't play their dd more. They talk to him, he explains his position, and they either agree with it or they dont. But at least it was put out in the open and both sides are aware of how the other feels. More often than not, the problem is solved and everybody is happy.
However, I have also seen parents who didn't like something that the coach did, and they just ran the coach in the ground, complained about his coaching tactics, talked about him behind his back, etc., only to leave the team shortly thereafter. It's easier to leave a team when you make the coach look like a bad coach.
Our coach is perfectly fine with a phone call. He wants to know our concerns. He's invested years building a solid travel team and he doesn't want someone to leave without letting him know why. He understands that the parents are there for one child, but the parents have to understand that he is there for the whole team.
Hi everyone, new here.
I'm looking for some advice. My DD is a catcher. We have been working with a catching coach for a couple of years. This catching coach has been wonderful and my DD has really developed under her instruction. DD is a sophomore this year and we are having troubles with the HS coach like we have never had before.
DD plays TB since 12u, hard worker, good student, athletic, etc. An all around good kid. Most of the teams she has been on has had average to good coaches (by this I'm referring to their expertise in softball). Since 14u, her coaches have all worked her in not only catching but also managing the game as her catching coach worked with her. One team lost 2 of 3 games for the season but DD has a great developmental season because she's been allowed to try things out in the games. Her current TB coach kind of manages her managing the games, it's really cool.
Last year JV season was the same. She also subbed on a few V games and HS school coach tells her if she wants to catch next year DD has to do it the HS coach's way. And the method will screw up DD because it's totally different and wrong according to our catching coach. We brought in the catching coach last year to help the situation, she blew her off. We had a meeting with the coach and the AD and she couldn't give one real reason why to change anything other than she admitted she didn't know much about catching. She said said work with us but she is still being counter productive.
My DD is considering not playing and we are at our wits end. We have tried everything in a calm reasonable logical manner and nothing seems to bb working.
Any suggestions?
I'm looking for some advice. My DD is a catcher. We have been working with a catching coach for a couple of years. This catching coach has been wonderful and my DD has really developed under her instruction. DD is a sophomore this year and we are having troubles with the HS coach like we have never had before.
DD plays TB since 12u, hard worker, good student, athletic, etc. An all around good kid. Most of the teams she has been on has had average to good coaches (by this I'm referring to their expertise in softball). Since 14u, her coaches have all worked her in not only catching but also managing the game as her catching coach worked with her. One team lost 2 of 3 games for the season but DD has a great developmental season because she's been allowed to try things out in the games. Her current TB coach kind of manages her managing the games, it's really cool.
Last year JV season was the same. She also subbed on a few V games and HS school coach tells her if she wants to catch next year DD has to do it the HS coach's way. And the method will screw up DD because it's totally different and wrong according to our catching coach. We brought in the catching coach last year to help the situation, she blew her off. We had a meeting with the coach and the AD and she couldn't give one real reason why to change anything other than she admitted she didn't know much about catching. She said said work with us but she is still being counter productive.
My DD is considering not playing and we are at our wits end. We have tried everything in a calm reasonable logical manner and nothing seems to bb working.
Any suggestions?
It seems like you tried to approach the problem, reasonably. I would suggest that your DD do some field events in Track and Field, if it is offered at your school.
Generally, HS softball is not required for her to get a college softball scholarship.
Or, maybe play 3rd base?
Generally, HS softball is not required for her to get a college softball scholarship.
Or, maybe play 3rd base?
It looks like the coach is going to play her at 3rd base. She's the only sophomore on the varsity team. They have to rebuild the entire infield because so many players didn't return this year.
DD is fine with it so everything is okay for now. Nothing really got resolved, just avoided.
DD is fine with it so everything is okay for now. Nothing really got resolved, just avoided.
- Dec 28, 2008
- 386
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I love it when a seeming nightmare is turned into an opportunity. I really love having seen Amy suggest it, and then seeing it happen. That is truly a win-win situation. It can't hurt your daughter one bit to play and learn another position, as that just makes her more of a commodity to prospective college coaches while also difusing the issue. Usually it's "I didn't get my way so I'm leaving" or "It's my way or the highway." It's neat to see both the coach and your daughter work it out in a positive way.
