Parental Setback

[undergroundga]

When my DD started the journey of becoming a pitcher, I would take scrupulous notes from the sessions with the PC so I could reinforce later. I was too direct with my DD and focused on the negative – there was so much to learn and so much to improve. The pace of her improvement was low and it sometimes caused discomfort between us.

Several years ago I read a management research article about employees that were flourishing or struggling and they mentioned the Losada Ratio. This is the relationship between positive and negative statements: 3 positive comments to 1 negative comment. Their research showed that an employee was more likely to flourish if there was at least a 3:1 relationship between positive and negative comments.

After a session when there was some discomfort between us, I came to a stark realization. What happens if I create a great pitcher but I damage our relationship? It was a frightening thought.

I am absolutely not perfect, but I try to keep this ratio in mind when I am working with my DD. When I started better controlling how I communicate with my DD, she started improving at an increasingly fast pace. And we have a much stronger and mutually trusting relationship.

I think, for me, that is one of the most helpful statements I have read amongst many helpful statements in the parenting forum.