OK, so this is a basketball story, but I think it applies to all sports. DD is playing on a 6th grade AAU basketball team (we only play when there are no softball conflicts). There are a couple of 5th grade girls playing up.
We had our first tournament with this team yesterday. It went OK (2-2), 4th place in tourney. I took particular notice of one of the 5th grade girls because she was super aggressive (in a good way as far as basketball goes) and scrappy. Played with a lot of heart. But I noticed that her Dad (who, based on his height, I'm guessing must be a former player himself) paced the sidelines, never sitting down.
The girl was constantly looking at her Dad as he was coaching her from the sidelines. When she needed to make a free throw, she looked at Dad for coaching/reassurance vs. looking at the coach (on the opposite side of the gym). He was not a screamer, but he was constantly coaching.
We played four games, and prior to the fourth game, DH and I were hanging out outside the gym and saw this girl and her Dad leaving. She was sobbing; I mean full out sobbing. He had his arm around her and was speaking to her softly. I heard later that they were leaving early b/c she has some sort of soccer event today and he didn't want her overtired. So, I don't know if she was sobbing because she had to leave early or (as I suspect) because she didn't think she played well.
What I took away from this: I'm really starting to understand the detrimental effect that parent coaching from the stands or sidelines can have. It undermines the coach's authority and the child's respect for the coach's expertise. I understand working with your DD on your own at home, but during the game, step back and let the coach be the boss. I worry that this situation could come to a head at some point for this young girl, and I worry that the Dad is inadvertently placing a TON of pressure on his DD. He needs to chill the hell out and just cheer for her.
My random musings on a Sunday morning...
We had our first tournament with this team yesterday. It went OK (2-2), 4th place in tourney. I took particular notice of one of the 5th grade girls because she was super aggressive (in a good way as far as basketball goes) and scrappy. Played with a lot of heart. But I noticed that her Dad (who, based on his height, I'm guessing must be a former player himself) paced the sidelines, never sitting down.
The girl was constantly looking at her Dad as he was coaching her from the sidelines. When she needed to make a free throw, she looked at Dad for coaching/reassurance vs. looking at the coach (on the opposite side of the gym). He was not a screamer, but he was constantly coaching.
We played four games, and prior to the fourth game, DH and I were hanging out outside the gym and saw this girl and her Dad leaving. She was sobbing; I mean full out sobbing. He had his arm around her and was speaking to her softly. I heard later that they were leaving early b/c she has some sort of soccer event today and he didn't want her overtired. So, I don't know if she was sobbing because she had to leave early or (as I suspect) because she didn't think she played well.
What I took away from this: I'm really starting to understand the detrimental effect that parent coaching from the stands or sidelines can have. It undermines the coach's authority and the child's respect for the coach's expertise. I understand working with your DD on your own at home, but during the game, step back and let the coach be the boss. I worry that this situation could come to a head at some point for this young girl, and I worry that the Dad is inadvertently placing a TON of pressure on his DD. He needs to chill the hell out and just cheer for her.
My random musings on a Sunday morning...
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